Let it Snow

I wake up.  Shiver.  Realize my comforter only reaches my ankles.  Feet dangle in the cool room air, the source of my increasing alertness.  I tuck my arms in close to my chest and roll onto them, trying to find any heat hidden in the room.  Quivering aside, it brings joy to me, the chill does.  My nose, fingertips, and toes feel something, a break in the normal comfortable night's sleep, causing my whole body to be at unrest.  Yes, I try to find that warmth again, but at least I know that the cold exists.

Despite what probably everyone thinks and says, Florida can get cold.  If you do not live in Florida and I told you the high and low for today, you'd disagree with my previous statement, because, of course, you might take 50 degrees in a heartbeat, and that is our low.  Seeing my breath at night freaks me out when growing up it was normal this time of year.  Our high today (don't judge) is 75 and just by standing outside and looking at the blue skies, the people out and about, you'd think maybe the end of summer, maybe beginning of autumn, probably not Dec. 20th.  Tonight, I'll be intentionally going out of my way to enter into the frozen tundra, make my extremities burn with the biting cold....and there will be joy.  Wisconsin, here I come!

I have to be honest, these past few months of ministry have been the most challenging for me, not because of anything especially circumstantially difficult, but because it feels as if I've been put on skis and pushed down a mountain.  The challenge looked exciting at first.  This is exciting and new.  Maybe I could do this well.  However, it feels like I have only one ski on.  Sometimes it feels like I was made more for sledding, not skiing.  I didn't know I needed balance, a strong foundation to keep me grounded.  I didn't realize how much protection from the wind and cold I'd need.  As I'm going down the seemingly never-ending hill, I'm slowly learning how to ski and balance, due to many learning experiences through short tumbles and falls.  However, I'm still not enjoying the skiing, this years responsibilities, maybe not even realizing the amazing fact that I'm skiing down a mountain.  I love the cold and the snow, I love the people of Brentwood and sharing life with them.  Skiing though, is not what I expected to do with this year.  Skiing makes me despise the cold for making the experience of skiing so unwanted.  Skiing makes me despise the snow for making the ground beneath my feet harder to balance while skiing.

Two days already on winter break (sorry for those still working or in school) and I've felt a warmth that I wasn't expecting to feel this "cold" school year.  Let me show you using three pictures from the past three days.

This is the last day of school before break for students at North Shore Elementary, where I volunteer twice a week.  The music teacher (in the Santa hat) brought the entire school in the cafeteria and each grade performed a song they'd been working on.  Normally I see the kids in a classroom setting, working hard, concentrating, getting disciplined, but to see them smiling and laughing all the way ha ha ha was something very beautiful.  I know magic isn't real but the very definition of joy seemed to manifest into something physical and visible.  Warm.

This is Diallo.  Perhaps you recognize him from previous blogs the past couple years.  He is now in middle school, no longer in the two:fiftytwo After School Program for only 2nd-5th graders.  He is involved with Connect, our new middle school program and he is growing in so many ways.  Even though I don't get to see him every day this year, it's been great to continue building into him the few times I do him.  We're not supposed to have favorites, but he's one of mine.  Here he is at the beach yesterday where some of us went fishing in the ocean.  Those are not snowballs, it's foam from the waves (yes, I realize he is still in shorts and a T-shirt, it was rather nice out).  He was preparing to get me with the foam.  He did.  But he should've known I'd chase him down the beach and get him back.  He's a lot of fun and it's awesome to still hang out with him and see how God is filling him with love and leadership.  Getting warmer.

Here are Emery and Kyle fishing.  Kyle, in whose age I'm close to, is teaching Emery, who is also in middle school now and was previously in our after school program, how to cast.  (Sorry for the long and weird sentence).  We used live shrimp in hopes of catching some big fish.  I'm not ashamed to say this, but I had no idea what shrimp looked like alive.  These were huge, not to mention unfried.  Both Diallo and Emery weren't fans of getting them out of the bucket, or hooking them for that matter.  For those of you who fish, you probably have an understanding for the patience and relaxation fishing forces on you.  People who rely on fish for their food amaze me.  I'd have to have a huge faith in God's provision for sure.  The past couple days have been relaxing without having to be responsible for planning, teaching, disciplining, etc.  Even warmer.

Just living life with these young men is like sledding to me, what I'd rather be doing all the time, but I know God has me skiing for a reason unknown to me.  Maybe I'll be great at skiing.  Maybe he's humbling me.  Maybe I'm almost at the bottom of the mountain.  Maybe there's a sled at the bottom.  Maybe better skis.  One thing's for sure, I love the cold.  I love the snow.

This year for Christmas, I'm giving a resignation to myself from myself.  If I want to sled and God wants me to ski, Lord be my strong foundation to keep my balance, Lord be my protection from the wind and the cold, be my second ski, get me to the bottom how you want me to, as an obedient child of yours.  Found it.

Merry Christmas.  I pray your spirits be made bright by the light that denied his powerful place to become a baby in a manger born from a virgin.  Enjoy family, friends, and finding some warmth from the cold.

Light up the Darkness

Experience breeds improvement.  A couple weeks ago, we hosted our fifth annual Family Fall Festival.  There were over 1,000 in attendance, enjoying all the trunk games, hot dogs, nachos, pickles, boiled peanuts, cake walk, bounce house, kickball, music, egg walk, and most important, CANDY!  This was the biggest festival we've ever had.  We made lots of connections with organizations, schools, parents, and churches.  Every volunteer had their role.  Restocking cars with candy, picking up trash, serving food, setting up tables, running games, making sure that the neighborhood felt loved and served.  Here are some pictures from the event.
http://www.2ndmile-jax.com/photos/family-fall-festival-2013/

We got to see many students again that attended our summer day camp, families were asking if the ministry did stuff throughout the school year that their kids could either volunteer for or be a part of.  As a result, quite a few people signed up for more information about Connect, our middle school program, and we even got another student signed up for the two:fiftytwo After School Program.  Thanks again for all the prayers about this recruiting.  It has been a challenge but God has been providing us with willing and grateful parents desiring to have their kids go to "camp" throughout the school year.  I mentioned last blog that we signed up a girl named Khamari who was at summer day camp.  About two weeks ago, Jashawn (jay-SHAUN) was signed up to be a part of our program.  He's in 4th grade and was also at the summer day camp.  Jashawn stutters when he talks.  The times that he can talk fluently, unfortunately, are when he's name-calling, and this boy has a large repertoire of options.  It's almost kind of like a tick, where even if he tries to control it, he can't.  He generally has good attitude and genuinely wants to follow directions, I feel, but it's difficult for him.  Please pray that the name-calling would stop, that he wouldn't be a bad influence on the other students but would cause them to help him be a leader rather than follow his example.


Tonight, we will be hosting a vision dinner here at North Pearl Baptist Church in the courtyard.  The dinner is to spread awareness of not only the ministry but more importantly, how the building next to church will be used as a community center once renovations are complete.  To prep this week, we've had to set up lights, since the event will be outside, we will be setting up tables, chairs, picture boards showing different aspects of the ministry.  It's hard to anticipate what the evening will exactly look like, unsure of exactly how many guests, unsure of weather (although it doesn't look like it'll rain, might just be a little chilly), (also, in Florida, the word "chilly" can be translated as below 60 degrees), and I don't exactly know what the table set-up will be.  Despite everything unknown to me, I know God will be present and He will be ultimately in control of it all.  He knows the exact day that all the funding for the building will be raised.  He knows who will show up, who will give, whose hearts the event will touch.  Much like the Family Fall Festival, everyone involved has their part to play in this event.  The members of North Pearl Baptist Church are stellar on their southern cooking.  I can smell the collard greens just in the other room right now as I type in our office.  Musicians, parking attendants, flashlight tour guides, speakers, a preacher, greeters, and food servers.  As we string Christmas lights throughout the old naked and leaky building, I can't help but think about the beauty that lights create.  Despite lots of water on the nasty dusty floor, the Christmas lights double in the reflection.  What would normally look like a scene from a haunted house movie will look like a warm and inviting place to walk around and drink hot chocolate.  The courtyard has strings of lights running across it, making a dead basketball court cement slab look like a classy outdoor dinner party.

The inner city closest to you may not be a place you'd actively go to hang out.  It might be scary to think about what bad thing might happen to you should you be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.  It is my hope, not only at this dinner, not only through writing these blogs, but also through the way my ministry family and I live that we'd be able to bring light out this darkness.  Wherever God is, His light is there also.  Just because a lot of very evil things occur in this neighborhood does not mean it's any darker than a place where not as much crime happens.  Sin is everywhere, but thank God that He is too.  "Urban" and "inner city" have so many negative connotations.  Hopefully, we can show you at some point and not just tell you about the many beautiful and bright things already in this community.  Please pray for this dinner to be memorable, as it's right in the building's courtyard, that the right people come, and that we'd be trusting in God's provision and timing for all of this to come together.

Mine Before Pearl's

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." 

If there's one trait that I've been fortunate to have it's being slow to speak.  I'm not always slow to judge or slow to anger, but I know how to keep my mouth shut.  I also know how to not speak when it is probably best to say something, so definitely not perfect.  I recently watched Dead Poet's Society and this quote opened up a new world to some private school students.  One of their teachers, Mr. Keating, was once part of this society that read poetry and "sucked the marrow out of life."  He went against the flow, encouraging the students to be free-thinkers.  Ripping pages from text books.  Standing on tables.  Kicking soccer balls while reading lines from poetry accompanied by classical music.  Walking uniquely in the courtyard.  Basically, breaking rules but not laws.  Questioning truth but not denying it.

I've realized in the past few months of ministry that a lot of my thoughts and actions reflect the pride and selfishness that were evicted by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ but still claim false residence in my heart.  I'm very "me" focused.  My job, which is supposed to be about serving and helping others, has morphed into a monster that feeds on everything and everyone around me for my own meaning and life.

I live in Jacksonville, FL.  In the Brentwood neighborhood.  Pearl World.  22nd and Pearl St.  A couple years ago, I named this blog Pearl's Before Mine meaning that I wanted to live in Pearl World and serve the interests and well-being of this neighborhood before my own.  Where that was the initial heart and mission of mine, it has been reversing and only now I am realizing this switch with my own eyes.  My hope is to go back and revisit the origins of my decision to go to the woods and live on purpose.  Growing up where the majority of people are like me made it easy to believe everyone and every place in the world had the same values as I had.  Now, living where most people are not like me, seeing the world through others' eyes has allowed me to understand life just a little bit more.  It's not about me.  I don't know or have the right answer to the right thing to do in every situation in every part of the world.  It's been easy for me to be quick to listen and slow to speak because there's so much that I don't know.

If you've seen Dead Poet's Society, who do you identify with?  Are you one of the board members of the school who wants everyone to follow the rules and not question the "perfect" system set up?  Are you like Mr. Keating, wanting to encourage the next generation to not fall into the norms of the world and find truth?

In moving to Jacksonville, I don't want you to think that it was a defiant or even deliberate choice to try to be different or even find the meaning of life.  I have already found life.  (John 14:6)  I was simply being led to a place different from my upbringing in order to love and serve and see grow a community that learns about Jesus and falls in love with him.

Going against the flow has nothing to do with wanting to disrupt the flow or judging those in the flow; it is because we know in our hearts that there is more to just doing what we want, more to just accomplishing goals and then striving for better, longer, higher, stronger.  It's as if we fear letting go of our faith in ourselves.  I can remember from middle school reading Where the Red Fern Grows and a raccoon is caught in a trap because it's holding on to a shiny piece of silver (I think).  To get free all it has to do is let go and its paw won't be so big and stay trapped.

Todd Anderson, a quiet student, wanting desperately to get out of this trap of being unable to speak and feeling worthless, finally decides to let go of everything his silence has made him believe.  In probably the most powerful ending to a movie I've seen, he literally stands up for his recently fired teacher Mr. Keating, not to defy the very angry replacement who commands him to sit down, but out of a love for Mr. Keating helping him let go. (a clip to explain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLFQYbjYsso)

As I struggle with living for just myself, please pray that the proddings of the Holy Spirit, which often suggest I do or say something that will disrupt the norm, would help build my faith to trust in Him so that He would be glorified and would use me to bring others closer to Him.

A few things to be praying for:
-Oct. 26th is our 5th annual Family Fall Festival!  Pray it serves the community well, that it wouldn't rain, and that it'd be a safe event.
-Nov. 14th we will be hosting a Donor Dinner to help raise awareness as well as support for the building that will hopefully soon be transformed into a community center.  Pray that the right people would come and that the amount of funds would come in that would allow contractors to begin working.
-Nov. 16th will be our community action day where anyone is welcome to help mow lawns, pick up trash, weed, edge, etc.  Pray that the community would be blessed by those who come help.

Answer to prayer:
-Khamari, a 4th grade girl from North Shore Elementary has recently joined our program and is doing great.  Thanks for the prayers!

Five More Seconds

Do you ever have those stretches of time where every minute of your day is devoted to something in your schedule?  Perhaps you work from nine to five, then after work, you buy groceries, then until seven, you cook dinner for four, then you do dishes, catch an episode of a TV show, or if you’re like me, play some music until it’s too late to stay up any longer, go to bed, and repeat in the morning.  Recently, I’ve even found my weekends, my supposedly free days filled with scheduled tasks or engagements.  At nine, go to the church for some street clean-up work, at one, think about all the things you need to get done to be prepared for the next week, at six, socialize, I mean, fellowship with some friends for some volleyball, after that, an impromptu visit to a nearby restaurant.

The free time that I do have, I feel anxious for no reason, like I’m supposed to be working on some project, preparing this, planning that.

Have you ever intentionally walked to a place that you normally drive to?  Perhaps it’s a mile away, maybe more.  What would conveniently take an eight-minute drive now takes an hour to walk, but you don’t care.  You haven’t a thing do work on, prepare, or plan for.  You may see unique and intricate house designs.  If you’re in Florida, you’d probably see lizards here and there scurry out of your way.  In Wisconsin, these would most likely be chipmunks or squirrels.  In a car, you drive past pedestrians in a matter of seconds maybe thinking, “If they had a car, they could get so much more done.”  As a pedestrian, cars come whizzing past you in a matter of seconds and you might think, “Everyone is always in a hurry,” or maybe, “If only they knew how lucky they are to have a car.”  When I drive those places where I’ve walked long distances, I remember the walk and how even though the drive is quicker, my soul was more at ease during the walk.  I need to slow down.

It is so easy for me to make a to-do list where 100% of the things on the list pertain to ways to make my life better.  They are all about me and my life.  Perhaps your to-do list is similar—about your life, your family, your career.

Remember a time when you held your breath underwater, for a casual lung capacity contest with a friend or maybe just to look at a whole new world with the help of some big honkin’ goggles.  Anyway, at some point, your brain tells you, “Ok, it’s time to come up for air soon.”  You want to take advantage of every moment under the surface so you fight this instinct a little longer, and a little longer, five more seconds.  The longer you wait, the more your brain beats up your intellect, commanding obedience.  This is the only way I can really convey how I’m feeling at this current moment with life.  I’m at the point where I fight the need for oxygen in order to stay in a world where I don’t belong.  Colossians 3:1-2 says, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”  How true it is when Jesus tells us to come to Him, and He will give us rest.

You haven’t seen me above the surface in a few weeks, but perhaps you really haven’t connected with me in a real way in months, maybe years.  Maybe you and I had a really deep conversation, one that you can’t remember the details but you remember God was there.  Maybe you and I used to talk all the time, but now you’re lucky to hear my voice anymore.  I sincerely want to apologize if you are one of these people.  I’ve been living according to what is expected of me from people first and God second.  I’ve been trying to maintain some normalcy in my busy schedule of a life that I forget that there are other people in the world to love and put before me.

Lord, please don’t let this desire to love others run dry.  Let my decisions transform into movement and action.  Change my good intentions to acts of Christ-like love.

...forgive us our trash baskets...

Thank you for your prayers for the past couple weeks.  Life at the after school program has definitely had its set of challenges, but there have also been many rewarding glimpses of how God might work this year.  We started the school year with ten kids (seven returning students and three new).  Two of those three new students, both sisters, have switched to a new program in order that more of that family could be dropped off at home all at the same time.  These students who left us, we learned, used to live closer to the program but moved further away before the school year started, and their mother, whose van is broken down, needed help getting all her kids dropped off at home.  If you can continue to pray for Jaykia and Kaylee as they continue getting used to changes in their lives, that'd be awesome.  Kaylee always was so excited to pray during Bible time and Jaykia would always begin Bible time with a "Yeah, we get to learn about God!"  It's sad that they've left, but we are excited to see if and when God will lead us to serve more families in the neighborhood, considering our current number of eight students.

I know it sometimes difficult to pray for names of people that you've never seen or heard of before but I'm going to challenge you to pray for one of the following names for the next week.  These are names and faces that God's been putting on my heart to seek out and invite to be involved in our program.

Antwon is a 2nd or 3rd grade boy that I see at the park every once in a while and he attends Brentwood Elementary, one of our neighborhood school partnerships.  He's always quick to play and he is fast enough where I have to actually work hard to catch up to him when playing football.
Khamari is a 4th grade girl who came to camp this past summer and during stretches for our sports station, I'd always challenge her to see who could stand on one leg and move the least.  She is classmates with another two:fiftytwo student, Tommieyah, and we were surprised to see she switched schools and goes to North Shore Elementary, our second school partnership.
Jovan is a 2nd grader at North Shore.  He came to camp this past summer and was very active, sometimes a little too energetic.  I know nothing about his academics but I know his teacher is awesome and could definitely get me in touch with his family if that's the way we want to go.

As far as current after school program students go, we've seen lots of improvement in them understanding what we expect from them.  Every day, there's usually one kid that just seems to be having a rough day.  Defiance comes in waves and it's very easy to take disrespect personally.  One thing that God has been revealing to me and challenging me with lately is how quickly I run from conflict, from challenges.  How often do my prayers plead with God, "Lord, please help change this circumstance so it's easier.  Lord, please make leading this after school program easy.  Lord, just have the kids all behave today so I can have peace about life."  Can you relate?  Andrew Murray (look him up) wrote a book called Humility in which he mentions in one chapter how sometimes we need to be grateful for crummy situations because God may be wanting to sanctify you and humble you so that He is all you need.  It's weird to pray, "Thank you God that Mekhi never followed a single direction I gave today," or "You are a good God for allowing Chassidy to scream her head off and disrupt all of homework time."  It's hard but it definitely makes those situations more endurable when I know God is there with me, sharpening me.  In movies, you see swords being forged with  iron or steel blades, put through fire and then beat into shape before their hardness, strength, flexibility, and balance are mastered.  God does the same with us.

If we are unwilling to let God put us through "fire" or intense hammering and pounding, how will our old and trashy sword ever defeat the enemy?

James 1:2-4  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  Not lacking anything.  Lacking nothing.

Lord, forgive me of the times I want your blessings more than I want you.  All my righteous deeds are like filthy rags when they are done for my own benefit and not to serve you.  They are just garbage.  I'm sorry if I complain about things that you have in mind for my good.  Help me to trust you more.


[Just for fun]
God has made us so unique.  Here's a picture of an activity we did last Friday with a flashlight and some colored paper.  Can you guess which one is me?

(Top row: Mekhi, me, Charity.  Bottom row: Chassidy, Ms. Deirdree, Challah)

Our Daily Breath...

It was 7:15pm on Tuesday, an entire 45 minutes after the kids got dismissed and left for home.  I was 15 minutes late for Bible study at my house, yet did not allow the normal guilt of feeling late overtake me.  I could have easily gotten a ride home from the church from a coworker, but I chose not to.  Walking home, taking the slow rout while dribbling my basketball and thinking about the past few hours of stress, I began to wonder if I'm cut out for this, if the rest of the year would be like this.  Don't get me wrong, I love getting the chance to invest in kids lives and show them more about God's love for them....but these kids?

I got to my home door, lights on, maybe 20 people crowded in our living room already listening to the pastor's words about Jesus, the bread of life (John 6:25-59).  I went to my room, dropped the basketball, threw my book bag on the bed, took my Bible and pulled up a chair in the way back of the circle, alone with my thoughts, not really listening to the message.  Nobody there went through what I just went through.  I had a legit reason for not talking to anybody and just sitting there with my thoughts, right?  "And the Israelites were commanded by Moses not to save any of the manna until morning.  But they did not listen.  They didn't trust in the bread that the Lord had given them to eat which was just enough for that day."  I started to listen, feeling like God was trying to get through to me.  The pastor and others in the living room began discussing Jesus in John 6 when the people saw him at the other side of the lake and asked, "When did you get here rabbi?" (vs. 25)  One thing that's awesome about Jesus is that he rarely directly answers questions, he answers the questions that people should be asking.  Jesus answers, "Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill.  Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.  For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval." (vs. 26-27)

I feel entirely underqualified to lead, even co-lead, the two:fiftytwo after school program.  I'm not vocal, I don't command a presence of discipline or structure, and I'm not a great speaker.  I don't doubt that God has given me gifts that He can use and has used in kids' lives.  I get that.  But after the first week of school, I really don't know what to do different and can't turn to anyone that has more specific experience with these certain kids' behaviors.  I realize I want God to help me coast through the school year, give me my cumulative bread from every day this year and pile it into a storehouse so I know it'll be there.  But that bread will rot, and as Exodus 16:20 says, will be covered in maggots and begin to smell.  I feel so day to day right now.  I do trust God to give me strength to last Monday, patience to last me Tuesday, self-control to last me Wednesday, and so on.  Each day I must rely on God for peace and joy, despite being put in very sad and screamy situations.  Why ask for more than what God wants for me.  Could God give me more than my daily bread if He wanted to?  Well sure.  But why doesn't He?  It might be that I become more worshipful of the bread and myself than the giver of the bread like those in John 6 wanting the bread that Jesus gave instead of wanting the bread of life, Jesus himself.

Although we don't have to make the decision on whether or not to trust God with our next breath, He gives it to us anyway.  Our lungs can only hold about a breath's-worth of air.  If they stored an entire day's-worth of air that we needed, can you imagine how big of lungs we'd need?

I would love for you to pray for two of the girls in our program.  Charity (5th grade) and Chassidy (4th grade) are sisters and are becoming very defiant.  It's very difficult to get a hold of their father since he's very busy working or looking for work.  To give you a picture of what we've dealt with this week, most directions we give are met with talking back by Chassidy, especially when she's in that mood.  No matter what you say, she will talk back, in some cases scream back.  There's a lot of hurt and fear in her and she is not very trusting of anybody.  Please pray for them.  Charity has shown more attitude with age but also gets messed with at home by her sister.

Once again, I apologize for the infrequency and inconsistencies of these blogs.  Please forgive me.  It's been very busy around here.

What about God?

Out of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, which one of these three do you think about the least or know the least about?

If you said God the Holy Spirit, I'm right there with you.  Often I try to use the Holy Spirit as if he's some magical force that I can summon within myself to make my life better.  I know it sounds kind of ridiculous, but when asked how to approach the topic of the Holy Spirit, it's sometimes difficult to describe him, especially to someone who doesn't believe in God to begin with.  So you're saying this Holy Spirit is invisible and lives inside you?  Kind of frustrating and even makes me question how clearly I understand the Holy Spirit.

I'm reading a book called "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan which talks all about the Holy Spirit and common misconceptions about Him.  Just recently, I read part of a chapter that I want to share with you but first, I want to ask you one question.  Please take some time to answer it in your head, in your heart, out loud with someone or even just talking to yourself.  How would you describe how your relationship with God is going right now?

The following is an excerpt from "Forgotten God".



"'For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spriti of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba!  Father!'  The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.' (Romans 8:15-17)

I don't know where you are as you read this.  Perhaps you're tracking 100 percent and just want to voice your affirmation.  If that's you, then I say, 'Amen!'  Maybe you are reading this and are thinking, Well, I just don't experience that kind of intimacy with God...the Spirit in me never cries 'Abba!  Father!'  If this is you, I don't have a four-step guide to connecting with the Holy Spirit.  I would, however, like to suggest two potential obstacles for you to consider: comfort and volume.

Comfort (Maybe Your Life Is Too Safe)
From my own experience, I have felt closest to God when nearness to Him was a necessity.  The Bible says that the Spirit comes through in situations where we would normally be afraid (Luke 12:11-12).  We experience the Holy Spirit guiding us in desperate situations, such as being placed on trial for the gospel (in some countries), when we are asked why we believe in a God that allows ______ (fill in the world's most recent tragic horror) to happen, or when we receive a totally unexpected phone call that a close family member has died.

Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit as the 'Helper' or 'Comforter.'  Let me ask you a simple question: Why would we need to experience His being 'with you always, even to the end of the age' (Matthew 28:20 NASB).  Though this verse is true for all believers (of course God is always with us), if we are never alone or feeling like we need Him, how much do we care or need to know that God is with us?

I recently had dinner in Seoul, Korea, with an amazing man.  He was one of the twenty-three missionaries who were held hostage by the Taliban in Afghanistan in July 2007.  For those who don't recall the story, the Taliban executed two of the missionaries before a deal was reached with the government of South Korea and the missionaries were released.

This man told me about the horrors of being locked up in a  cell, knowing that martyrdom was a strong possibility.  He also shared about the amazing time they had on the last day they were all imprisoned together (their captors later divided them into groups of three and took them to remote areas).  Each of the twenty-three missionaries surrendered their lives to God that night and told Him they were willing to die for His glory.  There was even an argument over who would get to die first.  One of them had a small bible that the missionaries secretly ripped into twenty-three pieces so each could glance at Scripture when no one was watching.  The Word of God and the Spirit of God got them through the forty days of imprisonment.

One of the most fascinating things this man told me was about what has happened since.  Now that they have been back in Seoul for a while, several team members have asked him, 'Don't you wish we were still there?'  He tells me that several of them experienced a deep kind of intimacy with God in the prison cell that they haven't been able to recapture in their comfort.

This is the precious gift of intimacy the Holy Spirit offers us.  It is a security that is priceless and worth any loss of safety and comfort, even imprisonment by the Taliban.

Volume (Maybe Your Life Is Too Loud)
Multitasking has become the norm.  When was the last time you had an uninterrupted conversation with anyone?  No phones, text messages, or to-do lists running through your mind.  It's so rare nowadays to be able to look someone in the eye without interruption or distraction.  A while back, I found myself talking on the phone, emailing on my laptop, and playing Wii with my daughter all at once.  In my quest to accomplish much, I've lost the art of focusing on one thing or one person.  This in turn has affected my prayer life, as I'm sure it has affected yours.  I find it harder to simply be with God, to focus only on Him while spending intentional time with Him.

While Jesus didn't have to deal with emails, voice mails, or texts, He certainly understood what it meant to have multitudes of people pursuing Him at once.  At any given moment of the day, people were looking for Jesus.  Because of the priority of His relationship with His Father, He found ways to escape.  He took the time to focus and be quiet (Mark 1:35).  He was willing to remove Himself from people's reach in order to pray and commune with God the Father.  Our lack of intimacy often is due to our refusal to unplug and shut off communication from all others so we can be alone with Him.

In the craziness of our world, it takes tremendous effort to find a quiet place.  It takes time to quiet your mind and your heart before the Lord.  It means turning off the music, the television, or your cell phone.  It might mean going outside to your favorite spot.  For some, this is curling up inside in the only place where you find privacy.  For others it might mean heading to whatever wilderness is nearest to you or booking a few days at a local retreat center.

I don't know exactly what it will look like for you to be still before the Lord.  But I do know that no matter what your personality, it is a spiritual discipline to be still, to listen, and to cut out the distraction and din of our world.  And as we practice this stillness, this waiting, this being, it is then that we can experience deep intimacy and relationship with the Holy Spirit.

For some of you, reading this book could be a form of noise that keeps you from Him.  Maybe you already hear lots of sermons and read plenty of books.  What you need is direct communion with Him--to hear directly from Him and to speak directly to Him.  Rather than reading my words, listen to His.

Right now I want you to take a break and open your Bible to the book of John.  Read chapters 14 through 16 and give yourself some space to soak in the words you read.  Notice particularly how Christ desires that His disciples have peace and how He comforts His disciples with the truth that they are not left alone.  Part of His answer to how we are to have peace and be comforted is through the provision of the Holy Spirit, the other Counselor, who He promised would come once He left."


(Me again)
Another long blog post.  I thank you if you faithful to reading all that I'm processing.  I pray that you are encouraged and challenged each time I type.  I'm will hopefully get into more of a rhythm once the school year starts again.  Soon I'll write a ministry update and what's been going on the past few weeks.  Please, if you haven't already, consider what Francis Chan wrote in the previous paragraph.  Take the time to read John chapters 14 through 16.  I did and God is definitely opening my ears and my heart to know more of Him.  Like any relationship and many marriages I'm told, there reaching a point where the relationship goes from wanting as much time with someone to just be around them and get to know them  to  always wanting them to do something for you.  Please pray for my heart to want to just be with Jesus and sit at His feet and follow Him.

Great and Glorious

How many of your friends have been shot?

(Before you wonder and worry if one of my friends got shot, I will tell you, no).  Living in Brentwood for almost two years, I've learned more and more of what residents experience when tragic things happen.  Regardless of my own thoughts or opinions, I can't help but try and sympathize with those around me.  On my way home on the MLK Parkway, I looked down at a one of the main streets and saw four cop cars with their lights on.  Something went down, is now my knee-jerk reaction.  One cop, probably just a small offense, speeding or something like that.  Four cops, either a drug bust or someone got seriously injured, wounded, or killed.  Now, obviously these rules are not set in stone and there are many other possibilities of circumstances, but in my experiences, these tend to be true.  It turns out that a friend of one of my friends died (not sure how), and my friend has been thinking about his own life, when he'll go, if he'll go soon.

I share these things for two reasons.  One: It's just a small reminder that these things are happening.  If I don't hear or see anything bad happening from my point of view, I tend to think the whole world is doing fine.  Two: I don't ever want to write someone's feelings off if they differ from mine.  Meaning, if someone uses buzz words like "racial violence", instead of rolling my eyes and ignoring them, I choose to listen and understand why they might feel that way.

When I say the name Trayvon Martin, what emotion do you feel?  Maybe you are angry at the verdict.  Perhaps you are glad the trial is over and now we can get on with our lives.  Besides, people just want to complain and use the "race card".  Finally, you may have absolutely no opinion.  Maybe, you don't know much about the case and it isn't talked about much in your circles.  Whatever your feelings may be, I can tell you that how you feel or what you say or do will not change the fact that God is sovereign, the most perfect judge, and is in control.  As a staff member of an urban ministry, it is impossible to ignore these topics.  Do I fear for my own safety, knowing that the verdict probably angered some black people in the neighborhood?  Actually, not too much.  When you have a black guy and a non-black guy (usually white) involved in a case, it's pretty certain that the issue of "race" will be discussed.

Right before getting to the church to write this blog, an old woman from the church approached me to talk about our summer camp.  "You guys do a wonderful job.  You should contact a local news station to broadcast some of the good y'all do.  Everyone always only hears about the bad stuff.  There are good things happening here too."

Yes, I have moved into this neighborhood knowing all the dangers and darkness that lurk in the night, and occasionally in direct sunlight.  I know that my next day is not guaranteed, but I also know that I will not die sooner than I'm supposed to.  God knows exactly when my time will be up and has a purpose for it.

I do want to calm any concerns.  I walk to work a lot.  I feel very safe and I recognize many people in the neighborhood on my walks.  More and more people see my face and know I live here.  Most everyone I walk past acknowledges or greets me.  It might just be southern culture (I could be wrong) but many people down here are very cordial towards one another.  There are many good things about this neighborhood that I never had growing up.  I never talked to my neighbors.  When I went to the park with my siblings, there was a good chance that nobody else would be there.

We have one more week of camp.  We've had a ton of fun.  It's been tiring.  I'm going to miss the kids a ton.  Please pray that everyone continues to stay hype to the end of Friday.  Please pray that the kids remember this experience for a long time and know that they had a fun summer and were loved.  We don't know how much they will remember, but we hope that they remember the gospel.  God has been working in the kids' hearts and we are excited to see how this summer will impact their lives in the years to come.

Here's a short video from the 10-12 year olds during music time.  Get it boys!




(Great and glorious, awesome victorious, how great, how great, how great you are to me)
(Strong and mighty, great in glory, how great, how great, how great you are to me)
(Holy, holy is the king of glory, how great, how great, how great you are to me)

Mirrors

If you looked at a picture of me and then looked at a picture of a kid from the Brentwood neighborhood, you may comment on many external differences.  I might be much taller, much older, much whiter, much hairier...on the surface.  How does God see us?  Not one trait better or worse.  Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."  All the things that distinguish us from every other individual that has walked the earth is just a small representation of how creative God is.  It amazes me that He created us.  We don't have to wonder why we weren't made as strong or as smart or as rich or as beautiful as that other person.  We can live in confidence knowing God made us exactly how we are in order to bring Him glory.

There was a time in my life when I was one of the shortest kids in my class.  Always wondered why I couldn't be "normal" height.  There are times where I'd reject the things that distinguished me from other kids.  I tended to be smarter, shorter, skinnier, quieter, athleticker.  Anything that would draw attention to myself, I'd start wishing I was more "normal", the opposite of those things.  Only until college did I start to accept and even embrace the way that God made me.  But it is not, I repeat, is not physical traits, gifts, hobbies, or talents that define me.  I can only say that my identity comes from Jesus Christ and what he has done for me on the cross.  Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."  When Jesus lives inside me, although my sinful nature loves to try to convince me otherwise, Jesus is what God sees, not because of anything I've done, but because Jesus took the punishment that my sins deserved.

So why tell you any of this.  Well, to be honest, if I'm living to make myself seem great, it would be like a shepherd leading his sheep into a sandstorm.  I am only a sheep, hoping to point out to any lost or confused sheep to see how great the perfect Shepherd is.

Before the Summer Day Camp started, honestly, I expected that all the kids at camp would take away any remaining energy I had left from the school year.  I'd return next year completely exhausted.  But, something great happened.  As 75 kids funneled into our summer camp, I noticed that some of the activities that we've done over and over again during the school year at two:fiftytwo like hula hooping, jump roping, and drawing with chalk, became so exciting to the kids that were experiencing them for the first time.  Not gonna lie, some of these kids are adorable, smiling when they are told to run from here to there, laughing when volunteers make silly faces or try to dance, joyfully screaming chants of "Who da kang?!?! He da kang!?!?"  (Jesus Christ is the king!)

Two of the five weeks are in the books for Summer Day Camp 2013 and we are just getting started.  The kids have learned worship songs every day, they've done crafts that go with our "King and Me" theme, they've been rained on, fed lunches and healthy snacks ("What are blueberries?" said one kid), and they're in the process of learning who their creator is.

One of my favorite moments so far of camp has to be when the soccer ball team (5 and 6 year olds) came outside for the sports and rec station when it began to rain.  Thinking the rain would let up, I had everybody stand under our huge tent to keep dry, hoping to continue a football lesson on throwing and catching.  When the sprinkles turned to heavy and windy storms and when the ground under the tent began to get wet and flood, I had no choice but to run the kids inside the church five at a time.  Without a game plan for an indoor activity, my creative brain was turned on full power.  How are these wet and hyper kids going to pay any attention, especially if I don't have a plan?  As they lined up on the blue tape on the ground, without a word, I quickly stood straight up with my hands down at my side.  Two or three kids copied, all others still kind of jumping and talking, dripping with distraction.  I raised my arms slowly out at my sides, more and more kids began to get the gist.  As I played this silent version of simon says, I couldn't help but wonder how long this would keep their attention.  "As long as it possibly can?" I thought.  I would squat down.  They would squat down.  I would fall over.  They would fall over then laugh.

I wish I had video of all 20 of them in silly synchronized movements.  It was really cool.

What would it be like to reflect Christ?  Do I obey because I have to?  So that I don't get in trouble for not following directions?  What obedience is pleasing to God?  I would hate to feel like I'm forcing the kids to copy my movements in a game of "mirrors", it's just so cool to me to see them join in without being asked and genuinely enjoy trying to move every way that I am.  It should be out of pure joy that we follow Jesus.  I don't obey just so that I feel joy or laughter.  It's not about what I get out of listening to Him, it's about who He is and what He wants to give us.  Our obedience comes from love.

1 Peter 1:15-16 says, "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy.'"  As he is holy, we are commanded to be holy.  We are to reflect him, as in a mirror.  Next time you look into a mirror, instead of making weird faces at yourself (or is that just me?), think about your creator and how God made you very uniquely and for a purpose.  Although we are all made differently, let us worship the Lord together as one body in Christ.

Please pray that our energy increases, our love for the kids grows, and that we begin to see them in light of their eternity.

Enjoy some freeze dance action during dismissal time of camp.  (Yes, that is the Carlton dance being attempted by summer intern Blake in the red shorts.)

(The pictures above are from water day yesterday.  I love the smiles and action shots. It was so much fun!)

YOU AIN'T HYPE!

In little over 44 hours, God willing, about 60 kids will walk through the doors of "the yellow church" and start their five weeks of the summer day camp learning about God, playing Challenge Circle, dancing, singing, arts and craftsing, and having fun.  As many people working the camp would probably agree, we're not really sure what to expect at camp.  How many kids will show up?  Will rainy days mess up plans?  Although there are many unknowns, we wait and trust that those God would have be in the camp would be changed in a very positive way.

Decorations are finally finished.  A cardboard castle was erected, stone walls made, tissue-paper torches "lit", and giant scrolls unrolled.  Our theme this year is "The King and Me" and we hope that all of our Bible lessons and instruction will point to the King of Kings and how He rules over all.  Please pray that in all the planning, and in all the fun, we as staff remember to point the kids to Jesus and how great He is and not how fun and exciting we appear to be.  It's not about us.

One of the favorite cheers at our camp is when the person running Challenge Circle (a circular relay race game) yells "You Ain't Hype" at a specific team and they, in unison, yell back "You Ain't Hype!"  The team that shows the most energy wins points.  Also, during the relays races, teams are awarded points by winning the races but also for being the loudest encouragers of other teams.  There is so much tearing down of other people that happens in the community and we hope that God will work in the kids' hearts.

More updates to come.....

Two In the Books

Year number 2 of the after school program is in the books.  Done.  It reminds me of the end of a track race.  During the race, I try to conserve energy and push to the finish and expend all the speed I can before the finish line.  As the finish enters my vision, I anticipate rest despite feeling tired.  The closing moments are usually the most painful but then when I finish, I can look back on the race and the sport that I love and get excited and forget about the struggles.

I know there have been times this year that the struggles and pain were more illuminated than the triumphs, the positive growth, and the hope I can reflect on now.  In our end-of-the-year evaluations of the two:fiftytwo After School Program, I was very grateful for the section labeled "Highlights."  It had been awhile since I'd really only focused on the positives of the year.  I think the intent of this section was to discuss in what ways the program functioned better this year than the previous year, the first year.  What God brought to my heart were not aspects or changes to the program, but memories. Memories?  I wasn't expecting that.  As I look at some of my top 10 moments from the year, some include just simple interactions with the kids.  Challah laughing uncontrollably when I impersonated an old man, Michaella getting so excited to show us her loose tooth, Diallo's face lighting up when he was asked to explain the gospel to the younger kids, Mekhi going from running around and not being able to sit still in a chair, to sitting quietly, absorbing every piece of educational information, and even opening up more to the adults when before he just seemed very sad all the time.

I thank God for all the ways that this year was harder than the last, in that, we had the "opportunity" to undergo difficult situations in order to obtain more experience and also to thank God for the times that He shows up and works in the kids' hearts.

Here are some of my favorite photos I took with my ipod this school year, looking back.

Diallo and Ferrell cheating during a keep-the-cone-on-your-head relay race

Chassidy and Charity pretending to drive Mr. Marc's car when we took them home.

Diallo, Mr. Andrew, and Ferrell in the van on our way to a field trip

Haha, my sister's Christmas gift to me, face in the snow.

Field trip to the arboretum.  Da boyz

At the beach with my beautiful girlfriend Missi and visiting-sister Erin

Challah wrote a story where I was the Merman (male version of mermaid) King where I helped her find her magic shell.  Dreams do come true

In light of the end of the school year, most all teachers and students get a few well-deserved months off in the summer from all the planning and brain-growth.  In order to foster this "brain-growth" in kids over summers, many people around the country have baseball leagues, tennis lessons, summer camps, and other programs that keep the kids focused.  I heard an interesting study done for white, middle-classed kids versus black, under-privileged kids.  Both groups learn at the same rate during the school year, but there's a significant drop-off in knowledge and remembering facts during those summer months.  Therefore, many black kids return to school having lost much of what they learned previously.  We at 2nd Mile Ministries in the process of planning for our sixth ever Summer Day Camp (SDC), and it's coming quickly.  I will hopefully tell you more details about the different aspects of the camp next week so stay tuned.

Last week we spent two days just decorating for the camp in which the theme will be "The King and Me" (a grammatically correct version of "The King and I").  We want the kids to know that God is the King of Kings, so the idea of His throne will be hammered into the this summer.  Here are some beginning decorations.

Along with SDC preparations, this past weekend we put on our annual rummage sale at Eastside Community Church, where all money that is raised goes towards the summer camp.  This rummage is HUGE!  Tools, furniture, old TV's from way way back in the 90's with VCR's attached, toys, books, clothes, you name it.  It was a ton of work.  It was as if we set up a huge thrift store and then closed it down the next day.  There was some very interesting stuff including this bike helmet with some billiards balls on them.

After lots of sweat, organizing, and hauling furniture, I can look back and see that all the hard work paid off, quite literally too.  We pulled in about $4,500 for camp which will hopefully cover most of what we need to run a successful camp.

Please pray that all the new responsibilities would not overwhelm me, that the planning for the camp is thorough and seeking to serve God by loving the kids, and that those on staff with 2nd Mile would be able to find at the end of these small races (school years, big events, etc.)

Growing Pains

When I was a freshman in high school, there were few that were shorter in height.  By some miracle, my height didn't prevent me from making the basketball team, but did hinder my playing time.  I believe it was right before the basketball season that I began to feel pain in my knees and upper shins.  It wasn't enough discomfort to go to the emergency room, but I did get it checked out when I had my physical.  "Probably growing pains," the doctor declared.  It's about time, I thought.  Walking through the harsassment-filled hallways of high school as a tiny little freshman became a greater challenge than normal, especially now that the pain in my legs caused me to disguise a slight limp.  (For those of you worried out there, I never really got harassed, I didn't tried to draw any attention to myself).

It turns out, I didn't hit my growth spurt until two years later when I had already given up on organized basketball and started running track and cross country.  Relating to basketball, I used to always handle the ball well.  Being lower to the ground, I could dribble quicker and have better control.  I used to guard the other team's shortest or weakest player since there wasn't much expectation for me to rebound the ball.  Nowadays, with my tall appearance, I've had to "guard up" and defend people much bigger and stronger than I.

Although this type of physical growth is normal for pretty much everyone, it doesn't take away from the fact that it can be uncomfortable and hard to deal with.  Growth is sometimes hard to see, especially when you see someone almost every day.  When I go home and I see my nephews are 8 inches taller and their voices are lower, I'm filled with awe at first ("Dang, you grew!") and then I think about the fact that I'm getting older as well and, supposedly, getting more mature and grown up.  I was asked recently, "What ways have you seen yourself grow this year?"  Honestly, I didn't want to answer that question because I wasn't sure I had.  This past school year, I've had more frustrating days at work and been put in many situations that have left me unsure how to handle them.  I think in regards to the after school program, the fact that I can so easily point out what is going wrong reflects on what I choose to focus on; the negative.  This kid talks back to adults now when they didn't before.  That kid never used to call people names.  It's so easy to see what's wrong and try to fix it.  I think one reason I've had more frustration at work is because when I see little or no growth in the kids, it reminds me of my own frustrations with myself not growing the way I would want.

But God has a plan.  Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  When I look back and seek the positive memories of the year, I see that the biggest growth has been relationships.  The kids at our program are pretty much best friends with other kids in the program, they are more and more trusting of us as their authority figures.  As you may know from the previous blog, we have made an effort to spend time with the kids outside of the program at the parks or at organized Boys and Girls Days.  Sometimes, I feel like a part of their families, someone closer than just a teacher or babysitter.

What got me so in love with serving Brentwood in the first place was imagining these kids in 5, 10, or 15 years down the road, where they'll be, what plans God has for them.  Yesterday, I was at the park playing basketball and throwing the frisbee around and I saw Breon, a once 14 year old boy who came to our summer day camp back in 2010 who had a huge effect on me.  He is now 17, as tall as me, and asked me to play him one-on-one with him.  He still refers to me as DJ Andrew, my name at camp since I helped out with the music selection.  Another kid in the park, when we'd ask him a question, he'd reply with sir or ma'am, even though we are only in our lower to mid 20's.  It was a reality check with being 25 and not in high school or college anymore.

With my grandmother's passing back in March and only one grandparent still alive, it's been strange to think about losing a generation of your family.  This life, although slowly, continues to move forward and all of us grow, mature, get stronger, weaker, wiser, older, and eventually begin their eternity at death.

Have you ever walked in a cemetery?  Alone?  It's extremely humbling.  Suddenly, that TV show you love to watch becomes pointless, friends and family become more important, a fixation on the fragility of your life comes over you.  As a snake sheds its skin in seasons, and a hermit crab moves from shell to bigger shell as it grows, as the dead skin on my back peels after a wicked sunburn attacked the hard-to-reach places on my back, something new emerges.  My older brother is now a dad, even though I still see him as my buddy who I grew up with.  It's crazy to think about.  Look at your life, where you came from.  Generations back, generations forward.  The ol' days.  These new changing times.

It turns out the kids I've invested in this year are growing, and God is a huge part of that growth.  Although it's hard to see the day-to-day growth, the changes are more evident when I think back to the beginning of the school year.

Here are some pictures my sister found for me of my childhood.

 

I think I've grown up (
?)

These things have been on my mind.  Thanks for reading.  Hopefully you've taken some time to contemplate your life and all the characters in it, the people that God used to shape you.

Boys Day 2

The end of the school year is only a few weeks away.  For any of you teachers out there, I bet you can't wait for some rest in the summer.  With the big Florida testing over with, many teachers in this neighborhood coast, go on more field trips, watch more movies, and try to have more fun in their classrooms.  The FCAT is a big indicator on whether or not a student will go on to the next grade.  Helping out in the North Shore Elementary offices, it's sad to see students who, according to their age, should be one or even two grades higher than where they are.

As a worker in an after school program, I have noticed that the past couple of weeks have been a bit more difficult to get the students to want to read or want to do a worksheet that isn't their homework.  Our creativity has had to step it up a notch.  We went from individual reading time, which we call DEAR time (drop everything and read), to partner reading where an adult facilitates specific questions about the book or about grammar/vocabulary.  Although there have been difficulties with the school year finishing, I've actually been generally more excited.  Knowing there's always that chance that a student will move away or not join our program next year makes me want to take advantage of any opportunity I can to help them, love them, care.  If you've watched a couple of the last episodes of The Office, you might remember when Darryl left his job at the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company without saying goodbye (he didn't like goodbyes).  Then when he was seen at work gathering some things, all his co-workers suddenly wanted to hang out, grab lunch, spend time.  I would hate to have to lose something to know how much I miss it.

Hopefully in the next couple weeks, I will have had time to sit down, really think about this past school year, all God has taught me, put me through, and be able to give you some highlights, one of which I'm sure will include Boys Day 2.

Our second boys day was this past Saturday and we went to Hanna Park.  This park has hiking, camping, fishing, but the section we spent all our time at was the beach.  Adults included me, roommates Marc and Evanda, and neighborhood friend Ernest.  Students included Alex (4th grade), Ferrell (2nd), Diallo (5th), Mekhi (2nd), and Emery (5th) who was a part of two:fiftytwo last year.  We got to the beach, parked, went over some ground rules, then went for the ocean.  Most of these kids don't get the opportunity to go the beach too often.  It was awesome!  The waves were in good form, we dug some holes, made some sand castles, buried some people, play catch with the football, played baseball in the water, and ate apples.  Yes, apples.  After our 3 hours in the sun, we headed back home and got some McDonald's on the way.  These kids love them some McDonald's.  I could write about the beach for a long time.  Each kid was interested in different things.  Alex loved baseball and attacking the waves, Emery was content with his shovel digging holes, wanting to make a hot tub.  Ferrell, who I know could be a child-comedian if he wanted, said "I need to go work on my tan," on more than one occasion.  It was fun to partake in their excitement.  It was great!

Alex escaping from his sand grave.

Ferrell enjoying the water.

Emery, Diallo, Alex, and Mekhi playing catch with the unseen football.

With the school year nearing its end, we are beginning to get prepared for the summer day camp.  My mindset can sometimes drift to the summer prematurely and forget about the now.

Please pray:
-As a staff, that God would give us the drive and strength to be intentional with the next few weeks, hoping the kids grow in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and men.
-God would provide not only the supplies needed for summer day camp, but also the right volunteers, the right students from the neighborhood, the right instruction, etc.

True Rest

Have you had a long day?  Are you tired?  Is reading this blog pulling much needed energy from you at this moment?  Sometimes a whole day of scheduled duties goes by and I fall into bed, just to get enough sleep to do the same thing the next day.  Sometimes the days blend together.  My calendar is the only thing that jolts my brain to remember the day of the week.  For me, and maybe for you too, the more tasks and things on the schedule, the more lines drawn on the calendar, more or less resemble prison bars to me.

Once every month, the full-time staff members are required to take a "personal retreat day" which basically means an entire day to devote to the Lord, meditating on the word, reflecting on the past month, praying, resting, worshiping, etc.  I was skeptical at first, thinking that I had to go through a certain method, checking off things I needed to reflect on, but after that first time, I was excited to experience the next one.  This past Thursday was my most recent retreat day.  Normally it falls on a Saturday but this unique situation of the middle of the week and having a borrowed car at the time allowed for me to spend my retreat day outside of the Brentwood neighborhood.

I decided that early morning, right after a healthy Apple Jacks breakfast, I'd drive myself to the beach (about 25 minutes away from where I live)  I was hoping that the early time of this week day would mean barely any beach goers.  I parked the car, left my shoes and socks, my towel, my wallet, and my backpack behind and proceeded to the beach on foot...barefoot.  I walked the path to the beach, probably about 9:15am, and the sun was still pretty low which meant a beautifully bright reflection from the water and into my unexpecting eyes.  I approached the water, looked to my right, to my left, a few ambitious walkers here and there but not too many people.  With no intention of finding a spot to sit, I picked a direction, put my headphones in, and began to walk.  Look at all the seashells.  Look at the waves.  Look how far out into the ocean I can see.  I can't even see the end.  Someone in Africa might be looking in my direction thinking the same thing.  After almost an hour of walking and enjoying the vast blue water on my left, the side of my face warm from the sun, I turned and headed back.  (Not very profound to the story, but I did indeed turn around.)  As I recall, this is the first time I've ever gone to the beach by myself.  I definitely enjoy taking intentional alone time, and even though the beach began to get more populous, me alone with my thoughts and praise to God was awesome.

I needed that rest.

Last night I went to a showing of one of the most powerful and intense movies I've ever seen.  I'm not talking about any Hollywood films but rather a documentary called Nefarious, which I looked up means "wicked or criminal".  It was about global sex trafficking.  Honestly, I didn't know this fact until I already made plans to see it.  It was a faith-based film with interviews from former prostitutes, former pimps, former sex clients and unveiled the hurt, pain, helplessness that many women and children experience.  It is definitely worth watching and understanding, but I know that if you're like me and knew that it would be hard to watch and learn of what terribly evil things are happening, you wouldn't want to watch it.  You probably won't watch it.  I'm not being judgmental.  I'm right there with you.  I fear bringing pain on myself.  Even if the pain is not directly effecting me, learning of other people's pain in hard for me.

A 10 year old girl, raped by her father.  Now she's a prostitute.  People in poor Cambodian villages consider mothers blessed if they have a daughter because they can sell them into sex slavery for money to buy TVs and cell phones.  Billboards in Thailand advertise women as more delicious than a fresh durian.  The average prostitute starts prostituting between 12 and 13 years old.  These stats one after another are hard to believe and even harder to face as someone who has very little idea of these things happening.  I don't really know how to respond to a documentary like that.  What can I do but make others aware and pray?

The most powerful part of the movie was probably when a couple of ex-prostitutes talked about how they got out of that lifestyle.  The answer.  Jesus.  One of them should've died from too much cocaine, but she called out to Jesus and survived.  The other had a dream where Jesus and her were sitting on a bench.  His eyes didn't judge, didn't lust, didn't condemn, just loved.  He knew everything she had ever done and still loved her.  You could see as they were retelling their stories that they there was an incredible weight lifted from their shoulders.  Hope was born.

Anyway, there's this thing in the Bible called the Sabbath.  Most Christians might believe the word is synonymous with Sunday, just a word.  I know I did.  I think having an intentional day of rest, true rest, not just taking naps or not working, is one of trusting the Holy Spirit and following His leading.

Please take time to pray.

-Pray for these women trapped in a life where they'd rather be dead than alive because of all the abuse.

-Pray for courage to face these facts yourself with a burdened heart.  The worst day of your life may seem like heaven to some.

-Pray for my heart, that I don't just get worked up about these things and easily angered at everybody. I do pray that whoever reads this does not feel judged for not knowing about these things or for doing nothing.  I pray that you would take time to pray and open your heart for the broken people around the world who do exist despite not seeing them with your eyes.

Fernando Ortega's "I Stretched Out My Hands"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRhujopTr9k