Five More Seconds

Do you ever have those stretches of time where every minute of your day is devoted to something in your schedule?  Perhaps you work from nine to five, then after work, you buy groceries, then until seven, you cook dinner for four, then you do dishes, catch an episode of a TV show, or if you’re like me, play some music until it’s too late to stay up any longer, go to bed, and repeat in the morning.  Recently, I’ve even found my weekends, my supposedly free days filled with scheduled tasks or engagements.  At nine, go to the church for some street clean-up work, at one, think about all the things you need to get done to be prepared for the next week, at six, socialize, I mean, fellowship with some friends for some volleyball, after that, an impromptu visit to a nearby restaurant.

The free time that I do have, I feel anxious for no reason, like I’m supposed to be working on some project, preparing this, planning that.

Have you ever intentionally walked to a place that you normally drive to?  Perhaps it’s a mile away, maybe more.  What would conveniently take an eight-minute drive now takes an hour to walk, but you don’t care.  You haven’t a thing do work on, prepare, or plan for.  You may see unique and intricate house designs.  If you’re in Florida, you’d probably see lizards here and there scurry out of your way.  In Wisconsin, these would most likely be chipmunks or squirrels.  In a car, you drive past pedestrians in a matter of seconds maybe thinking, “If they had a car, they could get so much more done.”  As a pedestrian, cars come whizzing past you in a matter of seconds and you might think, “Everyone is always in a hurry,” or maybe, “If only they knew how lucky they are to have a car.”  When I drive those places where I’ve walked long distances, I remember the walk and how even though the drive is quicker, my soul was more at ease during the walk.  I need to slow down.

It is so easy for me to make a to-do list where 100% of the things on the list pertain to ways to make my life better.  They are all about me and my life.  Perhaps your to-do list is similar—about your life, your family, your career.

Remember a time when you held your breath underwater, for a casual lung capacity contest with a friend or maybe just to look at a whole new world with the help of some big honkin’ goggles.  Anyway, at some point, your brain tells you, “Ok, it’s time to come up for air soon.”  You want to take advantage of every moment under the surface so you fight this instinct a little longer, and a little longer, five more seconds.  The longer you wait, the more your brain beats up your intellect, commanding obedience.  This is the only way I can really convey how I’m feeling at this current moment with life.  I’m at the point where I fight the need for oxygen in order to stay in a world where I don’t belong.  Colossians 3:1-2 says, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”  How true it is when Jesus tells us to come to Him, and He will give us rest.

You haven’t seen me above the surface in a few weeks, but perhaps you really haven’t connected with me in a real way in months, maybe years.  Maybe you and I had a really deep conversation, one that you can’t remember the details but you remember God was there.  Maybe you and I used to talk all the time, but now you’re lucky to hear my voice anymore.  I sincerely want to apologize if you are one of these people.  I’ve been living according to what is expected of me from people first and God second.  I’ve been trying to maintain some normalcy in my busy schedule of a life that I forget that there are other people in the world to love and put before me.

Lord, please don’t let this desire to love others run dry.  Let my decisions transform into movement and action.  Change my good intentions to acts of Christ-like love.