Mine Before Pearl's

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." 

If there's one trait that I've been fortunate to have it's being slow to speak.  I'm not always slow to judge or slow to anger, but I know how to keep my mouth shut.  I also know how to not speak when it is probably best to say something, so definitely not perfect.  I recently watched Dead Poet's Society and this quote opened up a new world to some private school students.  One of their teachers, Mr. Keating, was once part of this society that read poetry and "sucked the marrow out of life."  He went against the flow, encouraging the students to be free-thinkers.  Ripping pages from text books.  Standing on tables.  Kicking soccer balls while reading lines from poetry accompanied by classical music.  Walking uniquely in the courtyard.  Basically, breaking rules but not laws.  Questioning truth but not denying it.

I've realized in the past few months of ministry that a lot of my thoughts and actions reflect the pride and selfishness that were evicted by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ but still claim false residence in my heart.  I'm very "me" focused.  My job, which is supposed to be about serving and helping others, has morphed into a monster that feeds on everything and everyone around me for my own meaning and life.

I live in Jacksonville, FL.  In the Brentwood neighborhood.  Pearl World.  22nd and Pearl St.  A couple years ago, I named this blog Pearl's Before Mine meaning that I wanted to live in Pearl World and serve the interests and well-being of this neighborhood before my own.  Where that was the initial heart and mission of mine, it has been reversing and only now I am realizing this switch with my own eyes.  My hope is to go back and revisit the origins of my decision to go to the woods and live on purpose.  Growing up where the majority of people are like me made it easy to believe everyone and every place in the world had the same values as I had.  Now, living where most people are not like me, seeing the world through others' eyes has allowed me to understand life just a little bit more.  It's not about me.  I don't know or have the right answer to the right thing to do in every situation in every part of the world.  It's been easy for me to be quick to listen and slow to speak because there's so much that I don't know.

If you've seen Dead Poet's Society, who do you identify with?  Are you one of the board members of the school who wants everyone to follow the rules and not question the "perfect" system set up?  Are you like Mr. Keating, wanting to encourage the next generation to not fall into the norms of the world and find truth?

In moving to Jacksonville, I don't want you to think that it was a defiant or even deliberate choice to try to be different or even find the meaning of life.  I have already found life.  (John 14:6)  I was simply being led to a place different from my upbringing in order to love and serve and see grow a community that learns about Jesus and falls in love with him.

Going against the flow has nothing to do with wanting to disrupt the flow or judging those in the flow; it is because we know in our hearts that there is more to just doing what we want, more to just accomplishing goals and then striving for better, longer, higher, stronger.  It's as if we fear letting go of our faith in ourselves.  I can remember from middle school reading Where the Red Fern Grows and a raccoon is caught in a trap because it's holding on to a shiny piece of silver (I think).  To get free all it has to do is let go and its paw won't be so big and stay trapped.

Todd Anderson, a quiet student, wanting desperately to get out of this trap of being unable to speak and feeling worthless, finally decides to let go of everything his silence has made him believe.  In probably the most powerful ending to a movie I've seen, he literally stands up for his recently fired teacher Mr. Keating, not to defy the very angry replacement who commands him to sit down, but out of a love for Mr. Keating helping him let go. (a clip to explain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLFQYbjYsso)

As I struggle with living for just myself, please pray that the proddings of the Holy Spirit, which often suggest I do or say something that will disrupt the norm, would help build my faith to trust in Him so that He would be glorified and would use me to bring others closer to Him.

A few things to be praying for:
-Oct. 26th is our 5th annual Family Fall Festival!  Pray it serves the community well, that it wouldn't rain, and that it'd be a safe event.
-Nov. 14th we will be hosting a Donor Dinner to help raise awareness as well as support for the building that will hopefully soon be transformed into a community center.  Pray that the right people would come and that the amount of funds would come in that would allow contractors to begin working.
-Nov. 16th will be our community action day where anyone is welcome to help mow lawns, pick up trash, weed, edge, etc.  Pray that the community would be blessed by those who come help.

Answer to prayer:
-Khamari, a 4th grade girl from North Shore Elementary has recently joined our program and is doing great.  Thanks for the prayers!