Let it Snow

I wake up.  Shiver.  Realize my comforter only reaches my ankles.  Feet dangle in the cool room air, the source of my increasing alertness.  I tuck my arms in close to my chest and roll onto them, trying to find any heat hidden in the room.  Quivering aside, it brings joy to me, the chill does.  My nose, fingertips, and toes feel something, a break in the normal comfortable night's sleep, causing my whole body to be at unrest.  Yes, I try to find that warmth again, but at least I know that the cold exists.

Despite what probably everyone thinks and says, Florida can get cold.  If you do not live in Florida and I told you the high and low for today, you'd disagree with my previous statement, because, of course, you might take 50 degrees in a heartbeat, and that is our low.  Seeing my breath at night freaks me out when growing up it was normal this time of year.  Our high today (don't judge) is 75 and just by standing outside and looking at the blue skies, the people out and about, you'd think maybe the end of summer, maybe beginning of autumn, probably not Dec. 20th.  Tonight, I'll be intentionally going out of my way to enter into the frozen tundra, make my extremities burn with the biting cold....and there will be joy.  Wisconsin, here I come!

I have to be honest, these past few months of ministry have been the most challenging for me, not because of anything especially circumstantially difficult, but because it feels as if I've been put on skis and pushed down a mountain.  The challenge looked exciting at first.  This is exciting and new.  Maybe I could do this well.  However, it feels like I have only one ski on.  Sometimes it feels like I was made more for sledding, not skiing.  I didn't know I needed balance, a strong foundation to keep me grounded.  I didn't realize how much protection from the wind and cold I'd need.  As I'm going down the seemingly never-ending hill, I'm slowly learning how to ski and balance, due to many learning experiences through short tumbles and falls.  However, I'm still not enjoying the skiing, this years responsibilities, maybe not even realizing the amazing fact that I'm skiing down a mountain.  I love the cold and the snow, I love the people of Brentwood and sharing life with them.  Skiing though, is not what I expected to do with this year.  Skiing makes me despise the cold for making the experience of skiing so unwanted.  Skiing makes me despise the snow for making the ground beneath my feet harder to balance while skiing.

Two days already on winter break (sorry for those still working or in school) and I've felt a warmth that I wasn't expecting to feel this "cold" school year.  Let me show you using three pictures from the past three days.

This is the last day of school before break for students at North Shore Elementary, where I volunteer twice a week.  The music teacher (in the Santa hat) brought the entire school in the cafeteria and each grade performed a song they'd been working on.  Normally I see the kids in a classroom setting, working hard, concentrating, getting disciplined, but to see them smiling and laughing all the way ha ha ha was something very beautiful.  I know magic isn't real but the very definition of joy seemed to manifest into something physical and visible.  Warm.

This is Diallo.  Perhaps you recognize him from previous blogs the past couple years.  He is now in middle school, no longer in the two:fiftytwo After School Program for only 2nd-5th graders.  He is involved with Connect, our new middle school program and he is growing in so many ways.  Even though I don't get to see him every day this year, it's been great to continue building into him the few times I do him.  We're not supposed to have favorites, but he's one of mine.  Here he is at the beach yesterday where some of us went fishing in the ocean.  Those are not snowballs, it's foam from the waves (yes, I realize he is still in shorts and a T-shirt, it was rather nice out).  He was preparing to get me with the foam.  He did.  But he should've known I'd chase him down the beach and get him back.  He's a lot of fun and it's awesome to still hang out with him and see how God is filling him with love and leadership.  Getting warmer.

Here are Emery and Kyle fishing.  Kyle, in whose age I'm close to, is teaching Emery, who is also in middle school now and was previously in our after school program, how to cast.  (Sorry for the long and weird sentence).  We used live shrimp in hopes of catching some big fish.  I'm not ashamed to say this, but I had no idea what shrimp looked like alive.  These were huge, not to mention unfried.  Both Diallo and Emery weren't fans of getting them out of the bucket, or hooking them for that matter.  For those of you who fish, you probably have an understanding for the patience and relaxation fishing forces on you.  People who rely on fish for their food amaze me.  I'd have to have a huge faith in God's provision for sure.  The past couple days have been relaxing without having to be responsible for planning, teaching, disciplining, etc.  Even warmer.

Just living life with these young men is like sledding to me, what I'd rather be doing all the time, but I know God has me skiing for a reason unknown to me.  Maybe I'll be great at skiing.  Maybe he's humbling me.  Maybe I'm almost at the bottom of the mountain.  Maybe there's a sled at the bottom.  Maybe better skis.  One thing's for sure, I love the cold.  I love the snow.

This year for Christmas, I'm giving a resignation to myself from myself.  If I want to sled and God wants me to ski, Lord be my strong foundation to keep my balance, Lord be my protection from the wind and the cold, be my second ski, get me to the bottom how you want me to, as an obedient child of yours.  Found it.

Merry Christmas.  I pray your spirits be made bright by the light that denied his powerful place to become a baby in a manger born from a virgin.  Enjoy family, friends, and finding some warmth from the cold.