I'm back in Wisconsin for Christmas break and it is wonderful. When I pulled up to my parents' house, there were tiny areas where snow remained. It's chilly. Some lakes are frozen with a light dusting of snow on them. Footprints are visible. Christmas lights on many windows and trees. Being in Wisconsin for Christmas just feels so right. The last couple days have gone by so quickly, but I will never forget them. I got to visit college friends and it was amazing how much my heart was hit with so many memories. All these friends took part in helping me grow as a Christian, a man, a brother, and a friend. As I reunited with each friend, God filled me with more and more joy and love. Memories came flooding in of how these friends played a part in my life and how we both experienced things God was doing together. How can I put words to this feeling? Can I even? I only had just enough time to catch up on life, very little time to build on our friendships. I was telling one of my former roommates how it felt like I was walking through Madison as an invisible onlooker, revisiting people and places from my past that were no more. The chill of the air in combination with this feeling of ghostlikeness made me think of death. My experiences there, in college, in Madison all died, but I myself am not dead. Life is now where I am building relationships. When I'm in Jacksonville around the community I'm a part of, I'm alive. New experiences are being created. Only time can tell if they will become powerful memories or a forgotten meaninglessness. Being on a break from ministry, from Jacksonville feels like an out-of-body experience. I am physically in Wisconsin. I can see, feel, touch, hear (and smell) people and places where I grew up. I feel like I got up from a movie for a half hour, only to return to a confusing plot, set of characters and changes, wondering what the heck happened while I was gone. My parents moved so I can't go back to the home I was raised in. Many close friends moved away so the friends I visited in Madison moved up the list priority. This break is feeling very restful, almost too restful.
These are all kind of random thought so I apologize that there's really no real direction or specific intent for this blog.
I've experienced and learned so much already in Jacksonville these past four months that have pushed me to see more of God's heart and less of my own. If you ask me how things have been going in Jacksonville, forgive me if I don't tell you everything. Many things go directly against how I believed life should be when I was only a few years younger. Living in a different culture from the one I grew up in has forced me to question much of what I believed to be the "correct way" to live. Forgive me, if at some point of updating you on what I'm doing, that I ask you questions I've had to ask myself about life. Forgive me if these questions come across as judgmental or critical, I only intend to open your eyes a little wider, pop your comfortable life bubble, and rip to shreds the box you may be putting an all-powerful and all-knowing God into. I will refrain from asking these questions on this blog. If you have the courage, humility, and curiosity, if you are open to listening to these questions (lovingly intended for encouragement and growth through love), I'd be very willing to ask, in fact, that's something that I've been yearning for since being back home. I'd love to pour into you and likewise, would love it if you were even critical with me on things that I'm weak in. Reading "Respectable Sins" by Jerry Bridges is showing me that there are many sins that I have that I don't even realize or address and they could be polluting my relationships with people without my knowing. Why are we resistant to criticism? And likewise, why are we so proudfully critical of others?
As soon as there is an understanding among all people that we all are sinful human beings (believers in Christ's punishment for us and non-believers in Christ's punishment for us), we can move forward in relationships, encourage one another in personal struggles, welcome feedback on how people experience you, take those things to God, ask Him to help reveal the hidden things about you that prevent a loving relationship from happening with another, but more importantly, ask Him to reveal to you the seriousness of your sin. You will never be perfect. Even if God reveals every hidden weakness to you, your sinful nature will cause you to continue to fail under your own strength and effort (or lack there of). I've said it before; only Jesus Christ has the ability to die in your place (because you and I do deserve to die) because he is perfect. A Christmas present may have your name on it, but it is not yours until you choose to take it. God has already unwrapped the gift to you to show you what it is. He has already purchased the gift with a currency of blood. Will you take it or return it? The countdown clock to your death is ticking.
Requests:
-This is hard for me to ask and maybe equally difficult to answer. How do you experience me? What about me gets on your nerves? Any sin you can call me out on? If there is something, past or present, please tell me. It may end up changing my life. It may be something I've never known before.
-Although I'm on a break from Jacksonville, please pray that the Lord would be faithful in growing me and preparing me for the rest of the school year. I don't want to be on break from God. Have you talked to Him today? I know He'd love to hear that voice He gave you.
-Please pray for Emery, Diallo, Alex, Charity, Chassidy, Rayshantia, and Challah over break. They are out of school, not in our program, with so many possible negative influences that can undo much of what God has done. Pray God would protect them and bring them back to the program starving for God's love (heck, include me in that prayer too).
I've been blessed to hear from those who have told me they are encouraged by reading this blog. Many times I feel I don't deserve such grace. Praise be to God for that encouragement. Thank you and have a blessed Christmas.
p.s. I wasn't kidding about request number one. lilvollmer@gmail.com
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Like Ghosts
I breathe about 20 times every minute. 20 breaths X 60 minutes X 24 hours X 365 days X 23.6 years = about 250 million breaths in my lifetime, not counting the times I was running around, requiring more oxygen, thus, more breaths. Acts 17:25 says "[God] himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." Each breath you take, (inhale, exhale) is a gift from God. With Christmas coming up, I'm sure gift-giving is to some extent on everyone's mind. God has the power to withhold our ability to breathe whenever. If you are reading this, then you are breathing. God has given me 250 million gifts in my lifetime, just with breaths. He is constantly giving. Every day, He wills. The gifts we give are tangible objects, many times on sale and with little thought or love. Although God does provide us with visible things, I feel his most beautiful gifts are those we can't purchase or find in a store. He fills me with joy. His word encourages me. His Spirit prompts my heart to pray for others. When I cry, He holds me. He doesn't struggle with the weight of carrying us. He warms the shivers of my life. With Jesus Christ in my life, the solid rock, nothing can shake me.
I would encourage you as you prepare for Christmas, that you look at the list of people you are getting gifts for, and stop and just think. What do I think about when I think of this person? How has this person positively impacted my life? What is unique about him/her? Have that be the basis of what you get them for Christmas. The gift you give should not be the gift itself, but rather the heart behind it. The unseen becomes reality, and the concrete becomes dust. One of my favorite bands, Gungor, has a new album out called "Ghosts Upon the Earth" which means this very thing. We are ghosts, here for a short while, mortal apparitions (one of my big boy words). The beauty of the earth, the Holy Spirit, God, love, unseen things are immortal realities.
You may have people on your list that you're not on speaking terms with. Maybe they're not even on your list. Maybe you should think of names that didn't make the list. For the past few weeks at the after school program, we've been teaching about forgiveness. What it means, who it's for, when to forgive. "If someone hits you, is it okay to hit them back? What should you do instead? Should you forgive someone even if they don't apologize?" Our memory verse two weeks ago was 1 John 1:9 which says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Matthew 6:14-15 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
The Christmas story is about Christ birth, God becoming man to take the punishment you and I deserve. What a gift! It's not Easter season, but who cares? Christ's death and resurrection mark an end to the old covenant (required obedience of the Old Testament Mosaic law) and a beginning of the new covenant (opportunity to receive salvation as a free gift through Christ). During his life, Jesus is believed to have been a carpenter. Have you ever worked with wood before? For the past week I've been chiseling a small piece of wood (probably 1x3x5) into a design of my choosing. I started by sanding the surface which caused a cloud of dust to fill my nostrils, scenting me back to second grade when I first sanded a rocket for Boy's Club at church. This piece of wood had lines on it, displaying the life-rings from the tree it was cut from. A tree that God let rain fall on, let be planted there, protected for years from being uprooted. A unique piece of wood like this, I learned, is very disobedient to what I want it to do. Granted this was my first time, but it seemed I had only little control over how much wood would be removed. The light parts are soft and sandable, the darker parts are stronger and more difficult to cut and sand. Imagine if this was your craft. You learn the characteristics of different woods, which types smell the best, shape the best, last the longest. Now, imagine having a wooden cross placed on your torn apart back. Your craft has become your crux. His skill taken to the Skull. I don't know this, but I bet Jesus looked at the wooden cross with thankfulness to his father in heaven who allowed him to be a carpenter. He probably knew that by the look of the wood, the huge nails that would go through his wrists and feet would keep him securely on that cross.
Consider this gift of life before December 25th. We are all sinners. There is no one righteous, no not one. Forgive someone. Love someone. Apologize to someone. Humble yourselves and approach the throne of grace with confidence. Give the gift of love, thoughtfulness, and forgiveness to those you intend to see or call or mail a letter to. Offer up your words, actions, and thoughts to the Lord and He will make your paths straight.
Enjoy three guys that God has given unique gifts to
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_McMPovPKY&feature=relmfu
I would encourage you as you prepare for Christmas, that you look at the list of people you are getting gifts for, and stop and just think. What do I think about when I think of this person? How has this person positively impacted my life? What is unique about him/her? Have that be the basis of what you get them for Christmas. The gift you give should not be the gift itself, but rather the heart behind it. The unseen becomes reality, and the concrete becomes dust. One of my favorite bands, Gungor, has a new album out called "Ghosts Upon the Earth" which means this very thing. We are ghosts, here for a short while, mortal apparitions (one of my big boy words). The beauty of the earth, the Holy Spirit, God, love, unseen things are immortal realities.
You may have people on your list that you're not on speaking terms with. Maybe they're not even on your list. Maybe you should think of names that didn't make the list. For the past few weeks at the after school program, we've been teaching about forgiveness. What it means, who it's for, when to forgive. "If someone hits you, is it okay to hit them back? What should you do instead? Should you forgive someone even if they don't apologize?" Our memory verse two weeks ago was 1 John 1:9 which says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Matthew 6:14-15 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
The Christmas story is about Christ birth, God becoming man to take the punishment you and I deserve. What a gift! It's not Easter season, but who cares? Christ's death and resurrection mark an end to the old covenant (required obedience of the Old Testament Mosaic law) and a beginning of the new covenant (opportunity to receive salvation as a free gift through Christ). During his life, Jesus is believed to have been a carpenter. Have you ever worked with wood before? For the past week I've been chiseling a small piece of wood (probably 1x3x5) into a design of my choosing. I started by sanding the surface which caused a cloud of dust to fill my nostrils, scenting me back to second grade when I first sanded a rocket for Boy's Club at church. This piece of wood had lines on it, displaying the life-rings from the tree it was cut from. A tree that God let rain fall on, let be planted there, protected for years from being uprooted. A unique piece of wood like this, I learned, is very disobedient to what I want it to do. Granted this was my first time, but it seemed I had only little control over how much wood would be removed. The light parts are soft and sandable, the darker parts are stronger and more difficult to cut and sand. Imagine if this was your craft. You learn the characteristics of different woods, which types smell the best, shape the best, last the longest. Now, imagine having a wooden cross placed on your torn apart back. Your craft has become your crux. His skill taken to the Skull. I don't know this, but I bet Jesus looked at the wooden cross with thankfulness to his father in heaven who allowed him to be a carpenter. He probably knew that by the look of the wood, the huge nails that would go through his wrists and feet would keep him securely on that cross.
Consider this gift of life before December 25th. We are all sinners. There is no one righteous, no not one. Forgive someone. Love someone. Apologize to someone. Humble yourselves and approach the throne of grace with confidence. Give the gift of love, thoughtfulness, and forgiveness to those you intend to see or call or mail a letter to. Offer up your words, actions, and thoughts to the Lord and He will make your paths straight.
Enjoy three guys that God has given unique gifts to
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_McMPovPKY&feature=relmfu
Saturday, December 3, 2011
What is time?
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I hope you all are enjoying the colder weather, wherever you are. I miss the snow. I miss wearing a jacket. I miss wearing four layers of pijama pants to bed every night (don't ask). I miss leafless tree. I miss seeing my breath. Today, we played ultimate frisbee in the park and I wore shorts and a t-shirt. You might wish you had this weather. I wish I had your weather. "It's so cold." "It's so hot." I find myself rarely thankful for the present weather I'm in. Before the wonderful invention of cell phones and clocks, time was determined by where the sun was and by seasons. Birds fly south. Dry seasons and rainy seasons. Leaves fall (in most places). Temperatures drop. In middle-class America 2011, efficiency and punctuality are valued and practiced by many. Schedules and structures are formed. Cell phones looked at frequently for time. Alarms set. Microwaves, ovens, sports shotclocks, all have timers that countdown. Clock in and clock out of jobs. How can I make the most out of my time?
Time is important. We should be more thankful for the time God allows us to live. Every inhale of oxygen is a gift from God. He keeps us alive. I just wanted to share why a middle-class view of time might hinder our ability to care for those from poverty (just in case "visiting the homeless" is ever on the calendar). Over a year ago in Madison, two friends and I went out to State Street to hand out a bunch of bagels that someone somehow had. I remember we sat and talked with an old lady named Sissy who was homeless and missing most of her teeth. She mostly did the talking and I remember that it was daytime when we met her, and getting darker when we finally left. It was a very long conversation and I can remember myself getting ancy, feeling like I should be somewhere, doing something, getting something done for myself. I glanced at my phone a bunch I remember. My point is this; when you have no phone or watch or job or meetings, time just doesn't matter. You only think about one thing. How do I make it through today? What am I going to eat? How do I stay warm? Keep cool? When there is nothing on your agenda for a day, the present is most important. Me, the future is most important. What decisions today will impact my tomorrow? College. Where to live. Job. If I want "C" to happen, then I must do "A" and "B". I have a friend who went to Mexico for a semester in college and said how he was frustrated that when he and his friends said they would meet somewhere at 5pm, it was normal for them to be an hour or so late. Time is used differently everywhere. Get up at the crack of dawn to start plowing the fields. Wait for the rainy season to pass before traveling in the jungle (I don't know if this one is true or not). If clocks and calendars did not exist, what things in our life would change? No TV guide, no organized sports. Tom Hanks kept track of time on his islandic hell in "Cast Away" by carving white notches into a rock to know when the winds would change and when he would shove off on his raft for freedom.
Whatever you think the norm is for how time should be managed, it is completely different in different cultures. Understanding the culture before we minister, I believe, is not just important, but necessary if we are to show the love of Christ. Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." Paul understood the people he was trying to save.
Please pray that God's wisdom and love for people in this different culture would be given me through the Holy Spirit. One of our two:fifty-two kid's house is being condemned on Dec. 9th even though they said they have the lease. Please pray they find a place to live that's close enough where he doesn't have to change schools and can stay in our program. Thank you. I will be back home in Wisconsin Dec. 20th thru the end of 2011. I'll be in Madison the 20th and 21st hopefully so if you'd like to hang out or see me let me know.
God bless
I like to find any excuse to share this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD7ErLIhwYA
Whatever you think the norm is for how time should be managed, it is completely different in different cultures. Understanding the culture before we minister, I believe, is not just important, but necessary if we are to show the love of Christ. Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." Paul understood the people he was trying to save.
Please pray that God's wisdom and love for people in this different culture would be given me through the Holy Spirit. One of our two:fifty-two kid's house is being condemned on Dec. 9th even though they said they have the lease. Please pray they find a place to live that's close enough where he doesn't have to change schools and can stay in our program. Thank you. I will be back home in Wisconsin Dec. 20th thru the end of 2011. I'll be in Madison the 20th and 21st hopefully so if you'd like to hang out or see me let me know.
God bless
I like to find any excuse to share this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD7ErLIhwYA
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Names and Numbers
Wild Bill was a short old man with a scruffy beard and said he was "residentially challenged." This homeless man came to an outreach event put on by Shiloh Baptist Church yesterday morning in order to spread the love to those less fortunate where a Thanksgiving meal and clothes were given out. Wild Bill was such an encouragement to me because he was not what I would call a normal homeless man. He experiences so much freedom in his relationship with the LORD that he is confident that if he gave away his blanket, his clothes, all his money and possessions, that God would keep him and provide for him. As he spoke to me, he made deep eye-contact with loving and concerned eyes and repeatedly pointed to my heart when he was telling me the importance of love and forgiveness. He says that somebody like me can't reach certain people the way God has allowed him to reach people, being homeless. I won't forget him walking away, short stature, smiling, pointing to his heart, and walking away. May God continue to provide for him. I also talked to an older gentleman from Jamaica who had gotten a meal. His name, to my surprise was Andrew too. Very nice man and claimed to have a relationship with the LORD.
Here in Brentwood, there are many unique names, including the name "Unique". Many hard to spell, pronounce. Some here even change their names or go by a nickname. One guy at the courts is nicknamed "V-I" since he's from the Virgin Islands. I think of men in the Bible where God changed their names for them. Abram was promised by God to be the father of a great nation, numbering greater than the stars in the sky and the sand on the shore. His name was changed to Abraham, which means "the father of many nations." For the rest of his life, his name would be a reminder of God's promise. Sarai (Abram's wife) became Sarah. Jacob became Israel. Saul became Paul. Many of these changes reflect a new calling or a description of what one has done or is destined to do. My name is Andrew, given to me by my parents, meaning "manly" or "strong." I don't think my mom gave birth and then thought, "Hmm, this looks like a strong and manly baby, let's name him Andrew," but I'm grateful for the name nonetheless. I don't know if God will give us new names in heaven (there is some speculation about Revelation 2:17), but even if we don't, what name would God give me? How does God see me? How did He make me unique? Around here, different people call me Andrew, Drew (two-yr old Jalen who can't pronounce Andrew), Mr. Andrew (two:fifty-two students), and lil Volms (fellow intern Tiara, or, T $ mini yo-yo) (inside jokes sorry). Wild Bill was obviously not his birth name but is known by that in the streets. When I hear the name of an old friend that I haven't seen or heard in a long time, I'm instantly transported in my memory of who that person was a factor in my life.
I love all the names I hear. Even the names within our own after-school program are pretty sweet. Rayshantia, Challah, Chassidy, Alexzandyr, Charity, Diallo, and Emery. Unfortunately, Jovonta is no longer coming to the after-school program since she needed more time to do homework. She is probably the one I'd be least worried about leaving since she works so well on her own anyway, but it's still tough to know she won't be as invested in as she was before. I ask you if you'd join me in continuing to pray for her schooling and development and that Christ would reveal Himself to her. So we are down to seven kids. Seven. (Also a name George Costanza wanted to give his first child). Anyway, the number 7 has great significance in the Bible. Often used for completion.(http://www.angelfire.com/az/rainbowbridge/seven.html)
Now, with my history of loving numbers and statistics, I feel I should be more concerned with the low number of students in our program. I mean, Jacksonville is huge and we are investing in only seven. Thankfully, the reduction has not concerned me at all. More time can be given to each kid. Also in the Bible, I think of how God uses small numbers and sizes to show his glory and power. A few examples I can think of are David and Goliath (obvious). The beginning of 1 Samuel 14 is incredible. Jonathan and his young armor-bearer (2 people) go up against the Philistine army with faith that God has handed the army over to them and start their killing, causing confusion. Moses, having a speaking problem, delivered Israelites from Egypt. The list goes on. 2 Kings 6:15-20, a city was surrounded by horses and chariots ready to attack. God, after Elisha prayed, made the oncoming army blind and led them elsewhere and then opened their eyes. Most are familiar with the miracle of Jesus feeding the four thousand and the five thousand with just a little bread and fish. God uses little to accomplish much. He uses the weak to lead the strong. I pray that the small number of students in our program encourages you and us to have a faith that is grateful that God is concerned for the weak and small and can work in huge ways.
Emery is the last of the kids that I have yet to introduce. He is in fourth grade and is the nephew of one of 2nd Mile directors. He might have the highest reading level of anyone, one of four 4th graders at proficiency at his school (highest level), grasps math very well, and has a vivid imagination. This imagination, however, causes him to get easily distracted. He loves dragons, yugi-oh cards, drawing pictures of dragons. He is definitely unique in how God made him. He's sensitive when others tease him. He's a bigger (taller) kid and has a powerful kickball leg and baseball swing, but has pretty messy handwriting. He uses capital letters randomly in words and spaces letters wrong. He is capable, just not motivated to improve the things that he struggles with. Who is?
(Emery winding up for a kick)
I leave you, praying that you have a blessed Thanksgiving with family and friends. Thank God for allowing you to even have family or friends. If this is a rough time for you, just know that God is able and God is willing to lift you up, all you have to do is be still. Exodus 14:14 is beautiful in saying, "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Love you all, and go packers!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXQLYTQsWaE&feature=related
Here in Brentwood, there are many unique names, including the name "Unique". Many hard to spell, pronounce. Some here even change their names or go by a nickname. One guy at the courts is nicknamed "V-I" since he's from the Virgin Islands. I think of men in the Bible where God changed their names for them. Abram was promised by God to be the father of a great nation, numbering greater than the stars in the sky and the sand on the shore. His name was changed to Abraham, which means "the father of many nations." For the rest of his life, his name would be a reminder of God's promise. Sarai (Abram's wife) became Sarah. Jacob became Israel. Saul became Paul. Many of these changes reflect a new calling or a description of what one has done or is destined to do. My name is Andrew, given to me by my parents, meaning "manly" or "strong." I don't think my mom gave birth and then thought, "Hmm, this looks like a strong and manly baby, let's name him Andrew," but I'm grateful for the name nonetheless. I don't know if God will give us new names in heaven (there is some speculation about Revelation 2:17), but even if we don't, what name would God give me? How does God see me? How did He make me unique? Around here, different people call me Andrew, Drew (two-yr old Jalen who can't pronounce Andrew), Mr. Andrew (two:fifty-two students), and lil Volms (fellow intern Tiara, or, T $ mini yo-yo) (inside jokes sorry). Wild Bill was obviously not his birth name but is known by that in the streets. When I hear the name of an old friend that I haven't seen or heard in a long time, I'm instantly transported in my memory of who that person was a factor in my life.
I love all the names I hear. Even the names within our own after-school program are pretty sweet. Rayshantia, Challah, Chassidy, Alexzandyr, Charity, Diallo, and Emery. Unfortunately, Jovonta is no longer coming to the after-school program since she needed more time to do homework. She is probably the one I'd be least worried about leaving since she works so well on her own anyway, but it's still tough to know she won't be as invested in as she was before. I ask you if you'd join me in continuing to pray for her schooling and development and that Christ would reveal Himself to her. So we are down to seven kids. Seven. (Also a name George Costanza wanted to give his first child). Anyway, the number 7 has great significance in the Bible. Often used for completion.(http://www.angelfire.com/az/rainbowbridge/seven.html)
Now, with my history of loving numbers and statistics, I feel I should be more concerned with the low number of students in our program. I mean, Jacksonville is huge and we are investing in only seven. Thankfully, the reduction has not concerned me at all. More time can be given to each kid. Also in the Bible, I think of how God uses small numbers and sizes to show his glory and power. A few examples I can think of are David and Goliath (obvious). The beginning of 1 Samuel 14 is incredible. Jonathan and his young armor-bearer (2 people) go up against the Philistine army with faith that God has handed the army over to them and start their killing, causing confusion. Moses, having a speaking problem, delivered Israelites from Egypt. The list goes on. 2 Kings 6:15-20, a city was surrounded by horses and chariots ready to attack. God, after Elisha prayed, made the oncoming army blind and led them elsewhere and then opened their eyes. Most are familiar with the miracle of Jesus feeding the four thousand and the five thousand with just a little bread and fish. God uses little to accomplish much. He uses the weak to lead the strong. I pray that the small number of students in our program encourages you and us to have a faith that is grateful that God is concerned for the weak and small and can work in huge ways.
Emery is the last of the kids that I have yet to introduce. He is in fourth grade and is the nephew of one of 2nd Mile directors. He might have the highest reading level of anyone, one of four 4th graders at proficiency at his school (highest level), grasps math very well, and has a vivid imagination. This imagination, however, causes him to get easily distracted. He loves dragons, yugi-oh cards, drawing pictures of dragons. He is definitely unique in how God made him. He's sensitive when others tease him. He's a bigger (taller) kid and has a powerful kickball leg and baseball swing, but has pretty messy handwriting. He uses capital letters randomly in words and spaces letters wrong. He is capable, just not motivated to improve the things that he struggles with. Who is?
I leave you, praying that you have a blessed Thanksgiving with family and friends. Thank God for allowing you to even have family or friends. If this is a rough time for you, just know that God is able and God is willing to lift you up, all you have to do is be still. Exodus 14:14 is beautiful in saying, "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Love you all, and go packers!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXQLYTQsWaE&feature=related
Sunday, November 13, 2011
"Do you love it more when God makes much of you or when God enables you to make much of him?"
-John Piper
I was thinking about this question this morning before church. Keep this question in the back of your mind. A couple years back, I remember one time listening to a speaker at a conference once say, "You are not defined by the things you do, but by the reasons you do those things." Two people can do the same exact thing, yet have two completely different motives, which define their character. Read between the lines. Don't judge a book by its cover. Both common idioms (I had to look that up, I'm not that smart) we use over and over, yet sometimes don't think about their meanings in our own lives. I'll tell you what I mean. Upon first hearing about 2nd Mile Ministries (which by the way has nothing to do with the Second Mile at Penn State, in case you were wondering) and hearing the facts about the things that happen in the neighborhood, I was shocked. Prostitution, drug-dealing, murder zone, fighting, cursing, LOUD arguments in the streets. I still find these things to not be good things, but learning about the reasons for people doing these things, I could begin to understand how without knowing Jesus is an option, poor decisions are made but with respectable intentions. Let me explain before you question this.
In middle class, the family structures are in most cases patriarchal (dad is the head) but in poverty the family is headed by the mother, or is predominantly matriarchal. Many families here don't have the presence of husbands and wives in the same household, mostly just a mom. If that mom has kids, she will need some sort of income (obviously) to survive and provide for her kids. If she is lucky enough to have a job (many don't have the skills or education), she might not have a car or access to one, so she'll take a bus, which takes away time she could be at home watching the kids, keeping tabs on them. In some rough cases, with no job, no food, no people to help, prostitution becomes an option. Still with the good intentions of providing for family, the act is bad. I'm not going to try to explain good intentions for drug-dealing or killing because I think they are non existant, but I do know that many reasons for making bad decisions have a lot to do with survival, but in every case, sin.
If I judge someone for what they do without taking the time to understand why they are doing it, what chance do I have of entering into a Christ-loving relationship with them? Judgment creates barriers, distance, walls. Jerry Bridges's book Respectable Sins is about the "little sins" Christians ignore or don't meditate on. We might play sin down like it's not sin. Some of the chapter titles are Ungodliness, Anxiety and Frustration, Discontentment, Unthankfulness, Pride, Selfishness, Lack of Self-Control, Impatience and Irritability, Anger, Judgmentalism, Envy, Jealousy, Worldliness. Do any of those stick out in your own life? Mine are bolded and underlined. Some of the list surprised me. Like, I know it's good to be patient, but a lack of patience is a sin? Whoa. Bridges writes, "If we are honest with ourselves, we know that nearly every waking hour, we sin in thought, word, or deed. Even our best deeds are stained with impure (mixed) motives and imperfect performance." He goes on later to say, "It's easy for us to condemn those obvious sins (abortion, homosexuality, murder) while virtually ignoring our own sins of gossip, pride, envy, bitterness, and lust, or even our lack of those gracious qualities that Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit." James 2:10 says, "Whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it." Although it seems obvious that there are different degrees of sin, sinning once makes you a breaker of God's law, not a breakre of one of God's laws.
Back to the opening question. When God pulls through and blesses you in some way, is the gift more important to you than the giver? Do you become prideful for the things that aren't even yours? In what you do, is it to make much of you or make much of God? What are your intentions? Ask God to reveal the imperfections of your heart if you don't know the answers to these questions. Maybe there's one that you've suppressed or ignored for so long that there is fear to face it again. God is able to bring you through anything. Just ask him, believe He can change you and never doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does (James 1:2-8).
Our prayer should be "Lord, have mercy on me, for I am a sinner." He will hear your cry. He will hear your cry. Listen to this song by Fernando Ortega. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRhujopTr9k
Jovonta (juh-VAHN-tay) is in fourth grade and she has a very gentle way about her. She is only 10 years old, yet is pretty big for her age, even taller than many volunteers. She smiles a lot and is friends with Rayshantia. That's how she was picked for the program. Although they aren't siblings, that friendship is a connection we definition were grateful to have. I haven't worked much with Jovonta with school work because she is probably the only student who is able to do their work on their own. Many of the other kids need someone to help them or even just watch them do their work in order to stay motivated to actually do their work. I'm glad she's in our program. She keeps the general craziness level of the program down and that's something God will take credit for. In a neighborhood that has ranking (making fun of others), I'm concerned for her next few years. I don't know if she is a target for being made fun of at school or not, but it is high possibility in her future, just for how God made her, nothing she could control.
(Jovonta during kickball)
Please pray:
-That Jovonta feels loved and accepted every day at our program and that God would reveal Himself to her in a way that tells her how wonderfully and beautifully He has made her.
-That all the buzz about the Second Mile scandal in Pennsylvania does not taint the 2nd Mile Ministry effort here in Jacksonville. They are two separate organizations and we aren't offiliated with them, in case you were worried.
-For God to reveal more of Himself in the staff's/interns'/volunteers' own individual relationships with God so when brought together to do two:fiftytwo, God would be praised and glorified.
-John Piper
I was thinking about this question this morning before church. Keep this question in the back of your mind. A couple years back, I remember one time listening to a speaker at a conference once say, "You are not defined by the things you do, but by the reasons you do those things." Two people can do the same exact thing, yet have two completely different motives, which define their character. Read between the lines. Don't judge a book by its cover. Both common idioms (I had to look that up, I'm not that smart) we use over and over, yet sometimes don't think about their meanings in our own lives. I'll tell you what I mean. Upon first hearing about 2nd Mile Ministries (which by the way has nothing to do with the Second Mile at Penn State, in case you were wondering) and hearing the facts about the things that happen in the neighborhood, I was shocked. Prostitution, drug-dealing, murder zone, fighting, cursing, LOUD arguments in the streets. I still find these things to not be good things, but learning about the reasons for people doing these things, I could begin to understand how without knowing Jesus is an option, poor decisions are made but with respectable intentions. Let me explain before you question this.
In middle class, the family structures are in most cases patriarchal (dad is the head) but in poverty the family is headed by the mother, or is predominantly matriarchal. Many families here don't have the presence of husbands and wives in the same household, mostly just a mom. If that mom has kids, she will need some sort of income (obviously) to survive and provide for her kids. If she is lucky enough to have a job (many don't have the skills or education), she might not have a car or access to one, so she'll take a bus, which takes away time she could be at home watching the kids, keeping tabs on them. In some rough cases, with no job, no food, no people to help, prostitution becomes an option. Still with the good intentions of providing for family, the act is bad. I'm not going to try to explain good intentions for drug-dealing or killing because I think they are non existant, but I do know that many reasons for making bad decisions have a lot to do with survival, but in every case, sin.
If I judge someone for what they do without taking the time to understand why they are doing it, what chance do I have of entering into a Christ-loving relationship with them? Judgment creates barriers, distance, walls. Jerry Bridges's book Respectable Sins is about the "little sins" Christians ignore or don't meditate on. We might play sin down like it's not sin. Some of the chapter titles are Ungodliness, Anxiety and Frustration, Discontentment, Unthankfulness, Pride, Selfishness, Lack of Self-Control, Impatience and Irritability, Anger, Judgmentalism, Envy, Jealousy, Worldliness. Do any of those stick out in your own life? Mine are bolded and underlined. Some of the list surprised me. Like, I know it's good to be patient, but a lack of patience is a sin? Whoa. Bridges writes, "If we are honest with ourselves, we know that nearly every waking hour, we sin in thought, word, or deed. Even our best deeds are stained with impure (mixed) motives and imperfect performance." He goes on later to say, "It's easy for us to condemn those obvious sins (abortion, homosexuality, murder) while virtually ignoring our own sins of gossip, pride, envy, bitterness, and lust, or even our lack of those gracious qualities that Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit." James 2:10 says, "Whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it." Although it seems obvious that there are different degrees of sin, sinning once makes you a breaker of God's law, not a breakre of one of God's laws.
Back to the opening question. When God pulls through and blesses you in some way, is the gift more important to you than the giver? Do you become prideful for the things that aren't even yours? In what you do, is it to make much of you or make much of God? What are your intentions? Ask God to reveal the imperfections of your heart if you don't know the answers to these questions. Maybe there's one that you've suppressed or ignored for so long that there is fear to face it again. God is able to bring you through anything. Just ask him, believe He can change you and never doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does (James 1:2-8).
Our prayer should be "Lord, have mercy on me, for I am a sinner." He will hear your cry. He will hear your cry. Listen to this song by Fernando Ortega. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRhujopTr9k
Jovonta (juh-VAHN-tay) is in fourth grade and she has a very gentle way about her. She is only 10 years old, yet is pretty big for her age, even taller than many volunteers. She smiles a lot and is friends with Rayshantia. That's how she was picked for the program. Although they aren't siblings, that friendship is a connection we definition were grateful to have. I haven't worked much with Jovonta with school work because she is probably the only student who is able to do their work on their own. Many of the other kids need someone to help them or even just watch them do their work in order to stay motivated to actually do their work. I'm glad she's in our program. She keeps the general craziness level of the program down and that's something God will take credit for. In a neighborhood that has ranking (making fun of others), I'm concerned for her next few years. I don't know if she is a target for being made fun of at school or not, but it is high possibility in her future, just for how God made her, nothing she could control.
Please pray:
-That Jovonta feels loved and accepted every day at our program and that God would reveal Himself to her in a way that tells her how wonderfully and beautifully He has made her.
-That all the buzz about the Second Mile scandal in Pennsylvania does not taint the 2nd Mile Ministry effort here in Jacksonville. They are two separate organizations and we aren't offiliated with them, in case you were worried.
-For God to reveal more of Himself in the staff's/interns'/volunteers' own individual relationships with God so when brought together to do two:fiftytwo, God would be praised and glorified.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Owned!
Have you heard of a man named Job? What do you know about him? Was he rich? Was he poor? Did he store his treasures on earth or in heaven? Did he love God?
The past few weeks, I've realized that when I give a Bible lesson to the kids at two:fifty-two (after-school program), I ask a lot of simple questions to help get their minds going, similar to what I typed above. I've also realized that this method of simplification has helped me in my own understanding of the Bible. To answer the above questions, I want to tell you of a time I got owned! "Owned" technically meaning to be made a fool of or proven wrong or embarrassed. In my case, proven wrong. Last Sunday at Shiloh Baptist Church, the pastor talked about Job. One of the richest men to ever live. Read Job chapter 1 and just imagine being in his sandals. Loses his family, his workers, his animals, and what does he do? Yes, he grieves, weeps, rips his robe, shaves his head, all understandable natural human reactions for his time. Even Jesus wept when he was deeply moved in spirit by others' tears (which is incredible to think about all on its own that we have a God that feels our pain). After Job grieved, verses 20 and 21 say "he fell to the ground in worship and said 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.'" What?!? How is he able to do this? Job did not find his worth or identity in his blessings. Satan accused him of following hard after God because he had tremendous wealth. I've heard and learned this story before, but what hit me was when H.B. Charles (pastor) was saying that we came in the world with nothing. Therefore, even if the only thing you accumulated in your entire life was a measly old penny, you would still come out in the positive.
I had to think about that. Everything I have was given to me, even if I bought it with money I earn from a job that I work for. Job was blessed to still have God and continued to trust in him even when he had nothing. Take some time and think about 5 things that you have, big/small/expensive/priceless, and think of where you got it. Me:
1. The food I eat -- God gave my supporters a giving heart and the money to support me in order to buy what I eat.
2. My basketball shoes -- Someone that used to live at the green house (where I live) left them and they happened to be my size. Thanks God.
3. My family -- God gave me a family that loves and supports me, which is an emotional resource that many in poverty do not have, which often determines education and knowledge and behavior.
4. A Steven's Point T-shirt -- God allowed my brother to go to the University of Wisconsin in Steven's Point and he gave me a basketball tee which I still have and wear.
5. The pen in my book -- Borrowed from the green house, it was bought at some point. I don't know how it was given to me, I just know I didn't earn it myself.
In my possession are probably like thousands of things. In poverty, there is much greater emphasis on sharing. Ownership is not as important. Survival is key on who you know and how you can mutual help each other based on what you have, whether it is physical or emotional or mental.......
Oct. 29th, we had 2nd Mile's annual Family Fall Festival where families enjoyed games, candy, hotdogs, nachos, costumes, apple bobbing, face-painting, and music. It was put on by 2nd Mile and the Boys and Girls Club, with various churches volunteering the decorated trunks of their cars for a Trunk-Or-Treat event where kids can win candy playing different games. We all shared in the excitement for three hours. All eight of our two:fifty-two kids were there and it was awesome seeing them connect with each other amongst the sea of children. To preface this, we handed out flyers around the neighborhood the week before the big event. Oh yeah, and this was done at night which kind of freaked me out. Constant suspense. The worst that happened was getting chased by a little dog but other than that, we all came back safe. Anyway, we had plenty of volunteers and supplies to make the event a success so thank you for your prayers. It was cool to talk to people from the community who didn't even know 2nd Mile existed. "Who y'all is?" "We're a part of 2nd Mile Ministries." "Where y'all at?" "We live in different parts of Brentwood." The whole point of this event was to show the neighborhood that we cared about them and hopefully God used the Family Fall Festival and continues to use it to ignite some hope in people that otherwise would go through life without much reason to hope.
If you admit that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you are saved by his grace. That also means a whole lot of other things like, you are my brother or sister in Christ regardless of age or ethnicity or perferred music. You were also purchased by the blood of Christ which means, in a sense, you are owned by Christ. And that is something to be excited about, not embarrassed about.
So much has happened in the past two weeks that I was too busy to blog last week. I will make it up by introducing a couple more of our students. The other siblings we have in our program are Charity and Chassidy. Charity is in third grade and is probably the most participatory during carpet time and Bible time. She loves to answer questions or read the memory verses, even when someone else is called on. If you remember me mentioning little Moses during my support raising summer, these two girls are his younger sisters. Charity will do anything to be a helping hand and it seems very genuine. She wants nothing out of it. She is very well-behaved and loves to learn. She still needs work with reading (like most of the kids) but no doubt will improve by her hard work. Chassidy is in second grade and is very tiny. It's kind of a mystery as to what kind of day she's going to have. She might be very focused and well-behaved one day, or disruptive and unmotivated the next. I've had the privelege of working with her during homework time and reading time a lot in the past weeks. "Mr. Andrew, can you help me with my homework?" is usually what I hear in a slightly demanding tone. Out of everyone in the program, I would say with confidence that Chassidy has the best reading comprehesion skills. She is learning new words so quickly. Everything academic is improving for her and she has amazing potential. She just needs to work on persevering and focusing if she gets disciplined.
Please pray:
-For us staff and volunteers to be consistent with discipline.
-For Charity to know when it is her turn to speak.
-That God would intervene when we inexperienced instructors have to teach and discipline.
-For my own personal relationship with God to be seeking Him with all I got.
(Charity playing Red Rover)
If you admit that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you are saved by his grace. That also means a whole lot of other things like, you are my brother or sister in Christ regardless of age or ethnicity or perferred music. You were also purchased by the blood of Christ which means, in a sense, you are owned by Christ. And that is something to be excited about, not embarrassed about.
So much has happened in the past two weeks that I was too busy to blog last week. I will make it up by introducing a couple more of our students. The other siblings we have in our program are Charity and Chassidy. Charity is in third grade and is probably the most participatory during carpet time and Bible time. She loves to answer questions or read the memory verses, even when someone else is called on. If you remember me mentioning little Moses during my support raising summer, these two girls are his younger sisters. Charity will do anything to be a helping hand and it seems very genuine. She wants nothing out of it. She is very well-behaved and loves to learn. She still needs work with reading (like most of the kids) but no doubt will improve by her hard work. Chassidy is in second grade and is very tiny. It's kind of a mystery as to what kind of day she's going to have. She might be very focused and well-behaved one day, or disruptive and unmotivated the next. I've had the privelege of working with her during homework time and reading time a lot in the past weeks. "Mr. Andrew, can you help me with my homework?" is usually what I hear in a slightly demanding tone. Out of everyone in the program, I would say with confidence that Chassidy has the best reading comprehesion skills. She is learning new words so quickly. Everything academic is improving for her and she has amazing potential. She just needs to work on persevering and focusing if she gets disciplined.
Please pray:
-For us staff and volunteers to be consistent with discipline.
-For Charity to know when it is her turn to speak.
-That God would intervene when we inexperienced instructors have to teach and discipline.
-For my own personal relationship with God to be seeking Him with all I got.
(Chassidy playing Red Rover while keeping her
root beer float from spilling)
Sunday, October 23, 2011
You say tomato
This past week, I've been noticing that my thoughts have been enveloped with social classes and how being brought up in a particular one affects your views towards another. For the internship, I'm currently reading A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby K. Payne which takes a close look at poverty but also looks at the world through a "lower-class" lens. The first chapter blew my mind. It explained the different types of resources needed to help one survive. In my naivety, I used to think that what keeps a person or a family poor is basically just a lack of money or availability of necessities (car, employment, etc.) but Payne gives a larger list of necessities unseen like emotional resources, mental resources (ability/capacity to figure out how to complete tasks, usually requiring some level of education), support groups (family/friends/neighbors you can go to for help), spiritual resources, etc. If I had the book in front of me at this moment, I could tell you the precise definitions of each group. This will just be an exercise of how well I paid attention to the chapter.
In the first chapter, there were seven scenarios of different people in poverty explaining ethnicity, age, educational background, family or friends nearby, weekly wage, expenses needed to be paid, situational expenses (jail bail, hospital, school supplies, other stuff). Reading each scenario, I was just waiting for something good to happen in these typical poverty stories. Growing up in the suburbs and understanding "middle-class" rules of society, I always just assumed everyone not in a "middle-class" upbringing have the wrong view of life and should change to fit my idea of how life should be lived. After each scenario, an chart is there for the reading to fill out what types of resources that particular family has. Do they have knowledge of hidden middle-class rules, do they go to church or have friends in close contact that do? Do they know how to read? Later in the book, there are three different charts for lower/middle/upper classes and how they view different things. I'll try to give you an idea of what I mean. Food: You need it to survive. Lower-class: Quantity, how much did you eat? Middle-class: Quality, did it taste good? Upper-class: what is presented well? Possessions: things that are valued in every-day life. Lower-class: People, who do you know that can get you what you need? Middle-class: Things from self-sufficiency, what can you get based on what you make? Upper-class: Connections, how can networking improve my reputation or my company's? Hopefully that makes a little more sense. Those are the ones that I can remember the best.
At the very end of chapter one of the book, Payne stated that in general, most people living in poverty don't believe that they are living in poverty. Yeah, life is tough, but you figure out how to live. Also, in general, people in upper-class don't believe they are the wealthiest people in society, stating that they know someone richer. Reading this, I thought that people need to get out of their comfort zone and see that there are people not like you in the world. Being at CCDA a couple weeks ago was awesome. People were from so many different backgrounds, in the same room, praising the same God. Our 2nd Mile director commented on how she loves worship at that conference because it's a small glimpse of what she imagines heaven will be like. I cannot go into a poor neighborhood like Pearl World with my middle-class way of life and try to change everyone's "lower-class" way of life as if mine is better. It's just more comfortable for me. My favorite speaker from the CCDA conference was Richard Twiss, a Native American speaking about how America often overlooks the fact that over the last 400 years, the number of Native Americans dropped from 20 million to 232 thousand. He gave a history lesson on all the oppression and genocide against Native Americans because their way of life seemed to be "demonic" or "savage". Europeans, comfortable with their way of life, even their type of Christianity, came over to enforce their comfortable ways on others that were different from them. Long story short, the way we live may seem normal to us, but those learned behaviors where you are comfortable will not work when transplanted into a different type of community or culture. If I am to reach the lost in Jacksonville, I have to first understand that I am different, not better. I must come with a willingness to learn, not teach. In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Paul says, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from god's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings." Paul didn't want to make a bunch of little Pauls, rather, he wanted to make a bunch of Christs where these people were at.
Rayshantia (ray-SHAHN-tee) is in second grade and she needs the most academic help. The first day she was at two:fifty-two, she quickly read a book perfectly and I was so impressed. Unfortunately, she had memorized the book and needs help for sure. Math, reading, you name it. She knows letter sounds and recognizes very basic words, but has trouble sounding out words she doesn't know. She guesses at math until she happens to get the right answer. However, she is very quick (athletically) and sometimes beats the boys at Jump the Creak (distance jumping game). If she makes it to high school, she could dominate the track and field events for sure, if she makes it to high school. Keep her in your prayers. I feel that collectively she gets the least attention too because she's usually well-behaved and doesn't draw much attention to herself anyway. Help us see her as Christ sees her. Thanks for reading. This is a busy week for us, getting ready for a family fall festival. Pray that all the supplies and volunteers show up to make it work. Love you all.
In the first chapter, there were seven scenarios of different people in poverty explaining ethnicity, age, educational background, family or friends nearby, weekly wage, expenses needed to be paid, situational expenses (jail bail, hospital, school supplies, other stuff). Reading each scenario, I was just waiting for something good to happen in these typical poverty stories. Growing up in the suburbs and understanding "middle-class" rules of society, I always just assumed everyone not in a "middle-class" upbringing have the wrong view of life and should change to fit my idea of how life should be lived. After each scenario, an chart is there for the reading to fill out what types of resources that particular family has. Do they have knowledge of hidden middle-class rules, do they go to church or have friends in close contact that do? Do they know how to read? Later in the book, there are three different charts for lower/middle/upper classes and how they view different things. I'll try to give you an idea of what I mean. Food: You need it to survive. Lower-class: Quantity, how much did you eat? Middle-class: Quality, did it taste good? Upper-class: what is presented well? Possessions: things that are valued in every-day life. Lower-class: People, who do you know that can get you what you need? Middle-class: Things from self-sufficiency, what can you get based on what you make? Upper-class: Connections, how can networking improve my reputation or my company's? Hopefully that makes a little more sense. Those are the ones that I can remember the best.
At the very end of chapter one of the book, Payne stated that in general, most people living in poverty don't believe that they are living in poverty. Yeah, life is tough, but you figure out how to live. Also, in general, people in upper-class don't believe they are the wealthiest people in society, stating that they know someone richer. Reading this, I thought that people need to get out of their comfort zone and see that there are people not like you in the world. Being at CCDA a couple weeks ago was awesome. People were from so many different backgrounds, in the same room, praising the same God. Our 2nd Mile director commented on how she loves worship at that conference because it's a small glimpse of what she imagines heaven will be like. I cannot go into a poor neighborhood like Pearl World with my middle-class way of life and try to change everyone's "lower-class" way of life as if mine is better. It's just more comfortable for me. My favorite speaker from the CCDA conference was Richard Twiss, a Native American speaking about how America often overlooks the fact that over the last 400 years, the number of Native Americans dropped from 20 million to 232 thousand. He gave a history lesson on all the oppression and genocide against Native Americans because their way of life seemed to be "demonic" or "savage". Europeans, comfortable with their way of life, even their type of Christianity, came over to enforce their comfortable ways on others that were different from them. Long story short, the way we live may seem normal to us, but those learned behaviors where you are comfortable will not work when transplanted into a different type of community or culture. If I am to reach the lost in Jacksonville, I have to first understand that I am different, not better. I must come with a willingness to learn, not teach. In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Paul says, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from god's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings." Paul didn't want to make a bunch of little Pauls, rather, he wanted to make a bunch of Christs where these people were at.
Rayshantia (ray-SHAHN-tee) is in second grade and she needs the most academic help. The first day she was at two:fifty-two, she quickly read a book perfectly and I was so impressed. Unfortunately, she had memorized the book and needs help for sure. Math, reading, you name it. She knows letter sounds and recognizes very basic words, but has trouble sounding out words she doesn't know. She guesses at math until she happens to get the right answer. However, she is very quick (athletically) and sometimes beats the boys at Jump the Creak (distance jumping game). If she makes it to high school, she could dominate the track and field events for sure, if she makes it to high school. Keep her in your prayers. I feel that collectively she gets the least attention too because she's usually well-behaved and doesn't draw much attention to herself anyway. Help us see her as Christ sees her. Thanks for reading. This is a busy week for us, getting ready for a family fall festival. Pray that all the supplies and volunteers show up to make it work. Love you all.
(Rayshantia playing kickball)
Monday, October 17, 2011
Steering a Parked Car
My brain hurts. I feel like I've learned more in the last five days than in any particular year of my life. Last Wednesday, I got to go to a conference that CCDA (Christian Community Development Association) put on in Indianapolis for people from churches and ministries all over the country. Completely overwhelmed by all the different kinds of people, I knew it would be a week to remember. Just a quick explanation of the conference. Mornings and nights would consist of worship and listening to a plenary speaker who would talk about an aspect of developing Christians spiritually as well as equipping them to carry out different ideas for developing certain poor or oppressed communities in the U.S. I am now realizing how incapable I am in explaining all I learned there. Hearing people from many different backgrounds speak of their lives makes me think of how God so uniquely made all of us. Everyone there had one thing in common though, a desire to love God and love your neighbor. Going to this conference, I felt like Willy Wonka standing by that tiny door about to go into the main part of his chocolate factory (Gene Wilder version) and when it opens, the people become tiny compared to the door, entering a world unanticipated. I came with my basket empty, not sure if I would be able to find enough to fill it. Turns out, I'm standing in an orchard the size of Washington, not sure how to fill my basket with this unexpected overabundance of knowledge, experience, and wisdom. I jumped in a river with a strong current unknowingly, and it has pulled me away to a different place of thought. I'm still processing a lot of stuff but I will try to clearly convey as much as possible.
I wanted to hear God's voice this past week. I wanted to be patient, but in my waiting, I forgot what I was waiting for. There were a lot of booths with people's ministries and information on what exactly they do. A sea of information exchange, accomplishment-sharing, advice-giving, and all I could do was absorb all I could, just swim in it. A few times, Psalm 46:10 came up in sessions about hearing the voice of God. First I have to be willing to hear it. A.W. Tozer in The Pursuit of God speaks on God's voice saying, "The voice of God is the most powerful force in nature," and "we have trained our ears not to hear." When obeying God's voice lays myself on the line, I don't naturally desire to change what I've grown used to. Many occurences in our life are explained away as scientific or just logical. This paragraph of Tozer's is beautiful to me.
When God spoke out of heaven to our Lord, self-centered men who heard it explained it by natural causes, saying, "It thundered." This habit of explaining the Voice by appeals to natural law is at the very root of modern science. In the living, breathing cosmos there is a mysterious Something, too wonderful, too awful for any mind to understand. The believing man does not claim to understand. He falls to his knees and whispers, "God." The man of earth kneels also, but not to worship. He kneels to examine, to search, to find the cause and the how of things. Just now we happen to be living in a secular age. Our thought habits are those of the scientist, not those of the worshiper. We are more likely to explain than to adore. "It thundered," we exclaim, and go our earthly way. But still the Voice sounds and searches. The order and life of the world depend upon that Voice, but men are mostly too busy or too stubborn to give attention.
Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." Quiet times are supposed to be just that....quiet times. Shut up and listen to the voice of God. There is nothing I can tell God or ask God that He doesn't know already. If my relationship with God is to be a relationship, I have to be willing to let Him speak too, for His way is better than mine, and He cares a lot more than I do about myself. But is listening and hearing the voice of God enough? I think reacting, changing, and obeying that voice is key. Many times, I want to be 100% sure I heard the voice of God before I do anything obedient to the Spirit. I don't move. With a ton of information gathered in my brain of knowledge, wisdom, and experience, I try to steer my thoughts, find truth in them. Those "ideas" have little to no meaning unless I'm moving, even slowly. I think it's very important to follow God in the little things so that He can entrust bigger things to you. Luke 16:10 says, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." Please pray that I would be living for Christ with more than just my thoughts and words. I wish to join other swimmers, others with their cars driving in a direction, going somewhere.
As promised last time, here is another kiddo. Alex is going to turn nine on Wednesday. He lives across the street from where I live so sometimes after a long stressful day at the program, seeing one of the kids at home is not the most desired situation. Alex is super smart, super impressionable, and super relational. Good news: This could mean he would be easy to disciple, easy to teach, and easy to multiply himself amongst others. Bad news: This could also mean that he will be crafty in doing bad things, he copies bad behavior, and he could potentially bring others to his bad behavior. Some days he is the best behaved, some days he is running away from the program and running his mouth with "He said what?!?" words. He talks to us like an adult, has a ton of pride in him, will cheat in order to win, will do good in order to gain a reward. I'm probably toughest on Alex because I see so much potential in him. We play basketball sometimes. He's like a little brother that is crazy but listens to what you have to say. He came to two:fifty-two one day so excited to show me that he read two chapters in Psalms. That gives me hope and joy. He hides pain well. He is better at lying than anyone I know and that scares me. He desires to fit it, at the cost of any sense of right and wrong. Pray for him. Pray for his family who experiences a lot more than I'm used to. I won't give details but it rough. Alex is always amped up on life, always happy and excited (not always about the right things).
I guess I didn't really explain much about CCDA. My mouth is full of water. Let me swallow before I speak as to not lose any. If I am to encourage you in any way, let me say this. You are never too rich, poor, ugly, beautiful, old, young, white, black, left, right to not start following his voice. Abraham was asked to demonstrate his faith by killing his son that he was given close to 100 years old. He could've died and lived a greatly dedicated life to God. He wasn't too old to call. Love you all. Put the car in neutral at least.
I wanted to hear God's voice this past week. I wanted to be patient, but in my waiting, I forgot what I was waiting for. There were a lot of booths with people's ministries and information on what exactly they do. A sea of information exchange, accomplishment-sharing, advice-giving, and all I could do was absorb all I could, just swim in it. A few times, Psalm 46:10 came up in sessions about hearing the voice of God. First I have to be willing to hear it. A.W. Tozer in The Pursuit of God speaks on God's voice saying, "The voice of God is the most powerful force in nature," and "we have trained our ears not to hear." When obeying God's voice lays myself on the line, I don't naturally desire to change what I've grown used to. Many occurences in our life are explained away as scientific or just logical. This paragraph of Tozer's is beautiful to me.
When God spoke out of heaven to our Lord, self-centered men who heard it explained it by natural causes, saying, "It thundered." This habit of explaining the Voice by appeals to natural law is at the very root of modern science. In the living, breathing cosmos there is a mysterious Something, too wonderful, too awful for any mind to understand. The believing man does not claim to understand. He falls to his knees and whispers, "God." The man of earth kneels also, but not to worship. He kneels to examine, to search, to find the cause and the how of things. Just now we happen to be living in a secular age. Our thought habits are those of the scientist, not those of the worshiper. We are more likely to explain than to adore. "It thundered," we exclaim, and go our earthly way. But still the Voice sounds and searches. The order and life of the world depend upon that Voice, but men are mostly too busy or too stubborn to give attention.
Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." Quiet times are supposed to be just that....quiet times. Shut up and listen to the voice of God. There is nothing I can tell God or ask God that He doesn't know already. If my relationship with God is to be a relationship, I have to be willing to let Him speak too, for His way is better than mine, and He cares a lot more than I do about myself. But is listening and hearing the voice of God enough? I think reacting, changing, and obeying that voice is key. Many times, I want to be 100% sure I heard the voice of God before I do anything obedient to the Spirit. I don't move. With a ton of information gathered in my brain of knowledge, wisdom, and experience, I try to steer my thoughts, find truth in them. Those "ideas" have little to no meaning unless I'm moving, even slowly. I think it's very important to follow God in the little things so that He can entrust bigger things to you. Luke 16:10 says, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." Please pray that I would be living for Christ with more than just my thoughts and words. I wish to join other swimmers, others with their cars driving in a direction, going somewhere.
As promised last time, here is another kiddo. Alex is going to turn nine on Wednesday. He lives across the street from where I live so sometimes after a long stressful day at the program, seeing one of the kids at home is not the most desired situation. Alex is super smart, super impressionable, and super relational. Good news: This could mean he would be easy to disciple, easy to teach, and easy to multiply himself amongst others. Bad news: This could also mean that he will be crafty in doing bad things, he copies bad behavior, and he could potentially bring others to his bad behavior. Some days he is the best behaved, some days he is running away from the program and running his mouth with "He said what?!?" words. He talks to us like an adult, has a ton of pride in him, will cheat in order to win, will do good in order to gain a reward. I'm probably toughest on Alex because I see so much potential in him. We play basketball sometimes. He's like a little brother that is crazy but listens to what you have to say. He came to two:fifty-two one day so excited to show me that he read two chapters in Psalms. That gives me hope and joy. He hides pain well. He is better at lying than anyone I know and that scares me. He desires to fit it, at the cost of any sense of right and wrong. Pray for him. Pray for his family who experiences a lot more than I'm used to. I won't give details but it rough. Alex is always amped up on life, always happy and excited (not always about the right things).
I guess I didn't really explain much about CCDA. My mouth is full of water. Let me swallow before I speak as to not lose any. If I am to encourage you in any way, let me say this. You are never too rich, poor, ugly, beautiful, old, young, white, black, left, right to not start following his voice. Abraham was asked to demonstrate his faith by killing his son that he was given close to 100 years old. He could've died and lived a greatly dedicated life to God. He wasn't too old to call. Love you all. Put the car in neutral at least.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Acting like a child
Week 4 of the "two:fifty-two" after-school program is complete. For the past four weeks, the kids have been working on addition/subtraction/multiplication, they've built water filters and volcanoes, they've read for about six total hours each, have memorized four memory verses (most of them), and played their hearts out during rec time. As far as behavior goes, I would say they all know what we expect from them and a couple of them, I think, have noticeably had better behavior. But the journey is long and all I can do trust that God will slowly but surely change their hearts for eternity. During Bible time and throughout the weeks, the gospel is being repeated to them over and over. They seem to know the right answers to our questions, but that's all it is to them right now, an answer to a question. I don't think there is much self-reflection and heart dissection going on right now with them, but keep them in your prayers.
On the opposite side of things, us volunteers have tried to think of ways to help the kids with their addition/subtraction/multiplication (none of us have education backgrounds), we've gathered/bought supplies and cooked clay for them to do science experiments, we've sat with many of them during reading time trying to figure out the best way to help each kid read, we've disciplined, we've planned for hours, and played our hearts out during rec time! Spending so much time with the kids, we are starting to see their strengths and weaknesses, their personalities and conniving tricks, what brings them joy and what brings them pain. Nowhere near God's level of understanding, I've found it interesting that how the kids behave is very similar to how I behave in my relationship with Christ.
Let me explain. We have a clip chart based on behavior, not performance. Everyone starts every day in the center on "Ready To Learn" and can move up the chart to "Good Day" to "Great Job" to "Outstanding" or they can move down to "Think About It" to "Teacher's Choice" to "Parent Contact". This is based on behavior. About week 2, they quickly were trying to figure out what they needed to do in order to get moved up, or to "get blessed", if you will. "Mr. Andrew, can I move my clip up for doing my homework?" That sort of thing happens a lot. Our quickly improvised rule, no one moves up when asked. I thought about how sometimes I think being blessed is the result of some equation of good behavior or the result of trying to read my Bible more or praying harder. In the words of A.W. Tozer in The Pursuit of God, "God's gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution." Since when have God's blessings been more life-giving to me than the giver of life? So two:fifty-two continued. This past week, I recognized in what situations I will tell kids to "clip-up" or "clip-down". When a kid does something good (worthy of a clip-up), then races over to clip-up and announces, rather, brags about their achievement, I wonder about their motives for good behavior and whether or not I should reward someone for arrogance. When a kid does something good with no selfish ambition, I feel they deserve a clip-up more. The kids are not in control of the "clip-ups", we are. I am not in control of my blessings, God is. I hope the kids realize that the "clip-ups" are nothing in comparison to the growth that will go on in their hearts. The blessings are nothing in comparison to the God who gave.
I have a question for you, whoever may be reading this. This question was asked me from a former roommate of mine. Which of the following would you choose? Being in heaven for eternity with angels, joy, singing, dancing, elation, jubilee, warmth, millions of people, everything you might think heaven will be, but with no Jesus. OR, being in a cold, damp, dark cave, with no singing or dancing or cheesecake or flying or people or flying people; just you and Jesus. How could I not choose the second? If I am a child of God, adopted into His family, who cares what I get from Him? I have him!
Peep this. I am unashamed to say that I watched the following youtube clip about 5 times today. Yes, it's cute but pay attention to where this girl's heart is. Yes, she loves Disney stuff. Yes, she loves princesses and pink and getting things for her birthday. But her love is concentrated on her loving parents for the thought of taking her to Disney world for her birthday. Her tears, I believe, are a beautiful thank you to her parents. I'm sure Disney world would mean nothing to her without having her parents. Take notes from this child. Imagine how God must feel when we cry and embrace Him for His love and compassion on us, for knowing our desires so deeply. Kind of like the little girl said, I sometimes feel like God, "How did you know I wanted this?" Joy in God and God alone should be enough for us to seek him every day, not for blessings, not for recognition from others, but for a deeper intimacy with He who created us.
For this week, I ask that you continue to pray for Challah and Diallo. I will introduce another kid next week hopefully. New things I learned about Challah : For only being in second grade and a girl (sorry), she is amazing at baseball and is quick. She talks to us like she is an adult which is adorable. She could care less about putting on a "good behavior" show to brag but she is actually pretty well-behaved. New things I learned about Diallo: he is like me when I was in school. I wanted to get done with homework as fast as I could, which meant not reading those boring directions all the time. When showed a few completely worked out double-digit multiplication problems, he picked it up fast, as opposed to when I tried to walk him through step by step. He, like me, needs to be shown how to do something completely, then he can do it forever by himself.
Please pray for:
-A decision on who, if anybody, to bring to two:fifty-two now that Keyshawn and Jeffery moved away.
-God to reveal more of himself to us who are going to Indianapolis next week for the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA). I will be there next week from Wednesday to Sunday. Also pray for safe travels.
-Brothers Bodai (BOO-day) and Amp, and their cousin Booby (yep) to come to know of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I see them a lot at the Green House and at the basketball courts. They have been blessed with athletic gifts, especially Bodai and Amp.
May God's grace encourage you to seek Him and no one else.
Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOpOhlGiRTM&feature=player_embedded
On the opposite side of things, us volunteers have tried to think of ways to help the kids with their addition/subtraction/multiplication (none of us have education backgrounds), we've gathered/bought supplies and cooked clay for them to do science experiments, we've sat with many of them during reading time trying to figure out the best way to help each kid read, we've disciplined, we've planned for hours, and played our hearts out during rec time! Spending so much time with the kids, we are starting to see their strengths and weaknesses, their personalities and conniving tricks, what brings them joy and what brings them pain. Nowhere near God's level of understanding, I've found it interesting that how the kids behave is very similar to how I behave in my relationship with Christ.
Let me explain. We have a clip chart based on behavior, not performance. Everyone starts every day in the center on "Ready To Learn" and can move up the chart to "Good Day" to "Great Job" to "Outstanding" or they can move down to "Think About It" to "Teacher's Choice" to "Parent Contact". This is based on behavior. About week 2, they quickly were trying to figure out what they needed to do in order to get moved up, or to "get blessed", if you will. "Mr. Andrew, can I move my clip up for doing my homework?" That sort of thing happens a lot. Our quickly improvised rule, no one moves up when asked. I thought about how sometimes I think being blessed is the result of some equation of good behavior or the result of trying to read my Bible more or praying harder. In the words of A.W. Tozer in The Pursuit of God, "God's gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution." Since when have God's blessings been more life-giving to me than the giver of life? So two:fifty-two continued. This past week, I recognized in what situations I will tell kids to "clip-up" or "clip-down". When a kid does something good (worthy of a clip-up), then races over to clip-up and announces, rather, brags about their achievement, I wonder about their motives for good behavior and whether or not I should reward someone for arrogance. When a kid does something good with no selfish ambition, I feel they deserve a clip-up more. The kids are not in control of the "clip-ups", we are. I am not in control of my blessings, God is. I hope the kids realize that the "clip-ups" are nothing in comparison to the growth that will go on in their hearts. The blessings are nothing in comparison to the God who gave.
I have a question for you, whoever may be reading this. This question was asked me from a former roommate of mine. Which of the following would you choose? Being in heaven for eternity with angels, joy, singing, dancing, elation, jubilee, warmth, millions of people, everything you might think heaven will be, but with no Jesus. OR, being in a cold, damp, dark cave, with no singing or dancing or cheesecake or flying or people or flying people; just you and Jesus. How could I not choose the second? If I am a child of God, adopted into His family, who cares what I get from Him? I have him!
Peep this. I am unashamed to say that I watched the following youtube clip about 5 times today. Yes, it's cute but pay attention to where this girl's heart is. Yes, she loves Disney stuff. Yes, she loves princesses and pink and getting things for her birthday. But her love is concentrated on her loving parents for the thought of taking her to Disney world for her birthday. Her tears, I believe, are a beautiful thank you to her parents. I'm sure Disney world would mean nothing to her without having her parents. Take notes from this child. Imagine how God must feel when we cry and embrace Him for His love and compassion on us, for knowing our desires so deeply. Kind of like the little girl said, I sometimes feel like God, "How did you know I wanted this?" Joy in God and God alone should be enough for us to seek him every day, not for blessings, not for recognition from others, but for a deeper intimacy with He who created us.
For this week, I ask that you continue to pray for Challah and Diallo. I will introduce another kid next week hopefully. New things I learned about Challah : For only being in second grade and a girl (sorry), she is amazing at baseball and is quick. She talks to us like she is an adult which is adorable. She could care less about putting on a "good behavior" show to brag but she is actually pretty well-behaved. New things I learned about Diallo: he is like me when I was in school. I wanted to get done with homework as fast as I could, which meant not reading those boring directions all the time. When showed a few completely worked out double-digit multiplication problems, he picked it up fast, as opposed to when I tried to walk him through step by step. He, like me, needs to be shown how to do something completely, then he can do it forever by himself.
Please pray for:
-A decision on who, if anybody, to bring to two:fifty-two now that Keyshawn and Jeffery moved away.
-God to reveal more of himself to us who are going to Indianapolis next week for the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA). I will be there next week from Wednesday to Sunday. Also pray for safe travels.
-Brothers Bodai (BOO-day) and Amp, and their cousin Booby (yep) to come to know of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I see them a lot at the Green House and at the basketball courts. They have been blessed with athletic gifts, especially Bodai and Amp.
May God's grace encourage you to seek Him and no one else.
Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOpOhlGiRTM&feature=player_embedded
Sunday, October 2, 2011
"A picture is worth...
a thousand words." A phrase used to explain that something that takes a long explanation can easily be depicted in a picture. In a time before we had digital cameras, cameras on our phones, on our computers, a photo was something special. Then, with limited film and money for film, less "funny-face" pictures were taken I'm sure. A picture was saved for a special moment, a beautiful scenery, or family portrait. Now, a plethora of snapshots, instant reminiscence, "Oooh, now get another one of me, except this time eating a fry." However, a picture of Brentwood leaves me at a loss for words. Daytime still, nighttime thrill. Plastic bag blowing down the street like a tumbleweed, many just sitting on their porches just enjoying the day. A picture of the streets with no one in them, however run down they may seem, still have a beauty to them.
My first internship, we watched a slideshow of the Summer Day Camp with kids having fun, smiling, laughing. I can't really explain the way my heart felt with each new picture that was projected on the wall, but I can try. Each picture pounded me into a deeper part of my heart. Whether I wanted it to happen or not, the Holy Spirit brought me to one of the most powerful moments of my life. I was quickly being brought to tears. Each face a person, created in God's image, with lives, souls, needing love, needing Jesus, living life hopefully effected forevermore by that summer, then dying a death, and facing a judge. I am a person, created in God's image, with a life, a soul, needing love, needing Jesus, will die a death, will face a judge. These kids are like me. I had to leave the auditorium and find the corner of a hallway to weep in. God was with me in that corner, holding me, giving me a snapshot of His undying love for me, His deep......you will not guess what just happened even now. While I was thinking of a word to go after "deep", for some reason the word "unction" came to my mind. But it has never been in my mind before now. Perhaps I heard it before but I couldn't define it and I definitely have never used it before. "Unction" means an annointing or healing, a comforting or soothing. I'm sort of freaking out right now. In that corner over a year ago, this glimpse of God was His unction for me. That sounds weird to use in a sentence. He was unctioning me. I don't know how to use it in a sentence obviously. I cried hard, out of joy not sorrow. Everything in me wanted those kids to one day down the road not fall into the stuff that people fall into here. Drugs, dealing, prostituting, stealing, cursing, lying.
Everything today is so quick. Internet, twitter, and facebook are increasingly getting closer to the speed of thought. "That cloud looks like a twinkie, let me make sure everyone knows about it right now." The meaningless forced meaningful. Unimportant important. Chapter 2 of A.W. Tozer's book, The Pursuit of God talks a lot about the throne of our hearts. Titled "The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing," chapter 2 warns that God's gifts have taken the place of God. He writes, "The pronouns my and mine look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use s significant. They are verbal symptoms of our deep disease. The roots of our hearts have grown down into things, and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die."
Some disposable cameras are/were limited to about 20 pictures. Some pictures even needed to be shaken like a Polaroid. Even longer back, pictures took a long time to develop. My brain wants a picture of God here, another one there, a revealing of himself here, blessings and direction there. It doesn't stop. I need to slow down. God's pace is different than my own. The amount of growth I hope to see in these kids ten years down the road will not be the same amount of growth I see in one three-hour period. This unction I am grateful. This picture of God is not worth a thousand words, but rather, my entire life. I will never forget that moment in the hallway. A couple days ago, I was looking in the picture archives of 2nd Mile Ministries and saw many younger yet familiar little faces. Some of the kids in our program with missing teeth, bigger eyes, rounder heads (I think), and now I am investing in those lives five days a week. It reminded me of the unction and put these kids' lives in a longer perspective than I once perceived. Photographs were developed slowly with the presence of light. Get the picture? 1 John 1:5b, "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."
As promised, let me introduce another kid. Diallo (dee-AH-low). He is in fourth grade and Challah's older brother (Keyo's younger brother). He is also very loud and demands attention. He, like Challah, hides his weaknesses but is very smart. He learns by watching, figures something out in his head, then can do it perfectly. He's competitive, athletic, and is an influence (sometimes good sometimes bad). Basically, he has leadership skills and speaks his mind, even if he's interrupting a lesson or conversation. Before the program started, I had only heard of him. On day one, I was introduced to my school-year-long internship with loud shouts, directionless running, fence-climbing, wild and free Diallo. I think I even saw foam coming out of his mouth (ok, that might've just been the fear). When he reads out loud, he mumbles as if he can't read some words, but his comprehension is incredible. His words can be violent in nature and he can come across as tough, but whenever a tiny child (from a volunteer) visits or an extra hand is needed, he is reliable for willingly helping without being asked. That gives me some hope that God can stretch out this rare snapshot of kindness into a solid man of godly character down the road. I spend the most time with him because he loves attention but also needs attention in order to excel to his greatest potential. He is capable of doing homework himself, but will give up easily if no one is there to keep him from being bored. Pray for me.
Diallo during water day summer '10
Please pray:
-For God to help Diallo's words and actions to grow to be more respectful towards the other kids and us adults throughout this year.
-For God's leading to what we should do about Keyshawn and Jeffery (brothers who only showed up Monday last week), whether or not to keep them in the program, to continue on with only eight kids, or pursue a couple more kids to be added.
-For a more permanent vehicle for transporting the kids (renting a van every week will get costly).
My first internship, we watched a slideshow of the Summer Day Camp with kids having fun, smiling, laughing. I can't really explain the way my heart felt with each new picture that was projected on the wall, but I can try. Each picture pounded me into a deeper part of my heart. Whether I wanted it to happen or not, the Holy Spirit brought me to one of the most powerful moments of my life. I was quickly being brought to tears. Each face a person, created in God's image, with lives, souls, needing love, needing Jesus, living life hopefully effected forevermore by that summer, then dying a death, and facing a judge. I am a person, created in God's image, with a life, a soul, needing love, needing Jesus, will die a death, will face a judge. These kids are like me. I had to leave the auditorium and find the corner of a hallway to weep in. God was with me in that corner, holding me, giving me a snapshot of His undying love for me, His deep......you will not guess what just happened even now. While I was thinking of a word to go after "deep", for some reason the word "unction" came to my mind. But it has never been in my mind before now. Perhaps I heard it before but I couldn't define it and I definitely have never used it before. "Unction" means an annointing or healing, a comforting or soothing. I'm sort of freaking out right now. In that corner over a year ago, this glimpse of God was His unction for me. That sounds weird to use in a sentence. He was unctioning me. I don't know how to use it in a sentence obviously. I cried hard, out of joy not sorrow. Everything in me wanted those kids to one day down the road not fall into the stuff that people fall into here. Drugs, dealing, prostituting, stealing, cursing, lying.
Everything today is so quick. Internet, twitter, and facebook are increasingly getting closer to the speed of thought. "That cloud looks like a twinkie, let me make sure everyone knows about it right now." The meaningless forced meaningful. Unimportant important. Chapter 2 of A.W. Tozer's book, The Pursuit of God talks a lot about the throne of our hearts. Titled "The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing," chapter 2 warns that God's gifts have taken the place of God. He writes, "The pronouns my and mine look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use s significant. They are verbal symptoms of our deep disease. The roots of our hearts have grown down into things, and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die."
Some disposable cameras are/were limited to about 20 pictures. Some pictures even needed to be shaken like a Polaroid. Even longer back, pictures took a long time to develop. My brain wants a picture of God here, another one there, a revealing of himself here, blessings and direction there. It doesn't stop. I need to slow down. God's pace is different than my own. The amount of growth I hope to see in these kids ten years down the road will not be the same amount of growth I see in one three-hour period. This unction I am grateful. This picture of God is not worth a thousand words, but rather, my entire life. I will never forget that moment in the hallway. A couple days ago, I was looking in the picture archives of 2nd Mile Ministries and saw many younger yet familiar little faces. Some of the kids in our program with missing teeth, bigger eyes, rounder heads (I think), and now I am investing in those lives five days a week. It reminded me of the unction and put these kids' lives in a longer perspective than I once perceived. Photographs were developed slowly with the presence of light. Get the picture? 1 John 1:5b, "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."
As promised, let me introduce another kid. Diallo (dee-AH-low). He is in fourth grade and Challah's older brother (Keyo's younger brother). He is also very loud and demands attention. He, like Challah, hides his weaknesses but is very smart. He learns by watching, figures something out in his head, then can do it perfectly. He's competitive, athletic, and is an influence (sometimes good sometimes bad). Basically, he has leadership skills and speaks his mind, even if he's interrupting a lesson or conversation. Before the program started, I had only heard of him. On day one, I was introduced to my school-year-long internship with loud shouts, directionless running, fence-climbing, wild and free Diallo. I think I even saw foam coming out of his mouth (ok, that might've just been the fear). When he reads out loud, he mumbles as if he can't read some words, but his comprehension is incredible. His words can be violent in nature and he can come across as tough, but whenever a tiny child (from a volunteer) visits or an extra hand is needed, he is reliable for willingly helping without being asked. That gives me some hope that God can stretch out this rare snapshot of kindness into a solid man of godly character down the road. I spend the most time with him because he loves attention but also needs attention in order to excel to his greatest potential. He is capable of doing homework himself, but will give up easily if no one is there to keep him from being bored. Pray for me.
Please pray:
-For God to help Diallo's words and actions to grow to be more respectful towards the other kids and us adults throughout this year.
-For God's leading to what we should do about Keyshawn and Jeffery (brothers who only showed up Monday last week), whether or not to keep them in the program, to continue on with only eight kids, or pursue a couple more kids to be added.
-For a more permanent vehicle for transporting the kids (renting a van every week will get costly).
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Everyone a Ref
Have you ever had an obsession? Ever put so much time and energy into something, absorbed in a world of discovery and forced importance, completely disregarding how pointless it is? Well, if you've known me since I was little, you may know about my past obsession with basketball cards. I loved buying, collecting, organizing, dealing, sorting, resorting, resorting again. For some reason, it fascinated me. Now 23, I'm starting to wish I had those dollars back, that time back. I did learn alot about basketball, players, statistics, and organizing from it, but it consumed me. The cards are gone (I should say, the importance of the cards is gone. My parents would be quick to point out the space they are still taking up in their closet), but my love for basketball still remains. Here in Jacksonville, I try to play when I can, when I'm not busy. I enjoy every game, even when we lose. Every game is different. Different teams, different players, different game scenarios, people might be having a good or bad day, people may be tired or pumped up. Each game like a snowflake. Well, being in Florida, I'll say each game is like a seashell (I think they are all different?).
Street ball in Brentwood vs. Organized Basketball leagues that I'm used to:
Street ball: Organized:
-on concrete -hardwood
-no refs -refs
-call your own fouls -refs call fouls
-no coach, no organized plays -coaches call plays
-persuasion is sometimes a necessary skill -refs call is final
-the ball that is used is usually old and rough -indoor ball smooth and fully pumped up
-mental scoreboard -physical scoreboard
-hot!! -fans or AC
-audience made up of players waiting to play next -audience made up of spectators (family)
-games to 16 baskets -highest score wins
-we play for hours -we played for 32-40 minutes
-no water -water bottles or water boys
It's a little different here. With no drawn up plays, a well-executed play consists of improvisation, the unknown, adrenaline, muscle, and trickery. With no ref or scoreboard, responsibility is given (more like taken) by those with the skill of persuasion and loud voices (not me). In every close game I've ever played in here, tensions begin to rise, arguing ensues, defense gets tighter, smack-talk elevates. "it's tie game." "No, we up one!" "No! We just tied it up with that layup!" "No!! You missed that shot bro!!" After a couple minutes of this, we finally continue with playing. For a guy who just wants to play and doesn't put too much importance in winning, I get easily frustrated with these frequent blow-ups.
I'm guessing that everyone on the court has an opinion, including me, about plays that could go either way. Calls, missed calls, what's a foul, what's not a foul, what's traveling, what's a carry. All these things that refs normally deal with, we have to deal with. People argue loudest for an opinion that benefits his team, his side. Even if in his mind he knows he's wrong, he might have the voice and persuasive ability to sway the outcome of the play. The more skilled the player, the more say they seem to have. How strange would it be for a player to say loudly to his teammates, "The ball touched you last," or "I traveled and it's the other team's ball."? Who argues for someone else's benefit? That's weird. I think many people, even Christians are the same way, myself included. I admit, sometimes I will hear a preacher speak some biblical truth and I might think of some other people who need it. I think of other people's faults before my own. I'm no better. Matthew 7:3 comes to mind, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Everyone has a human need to be accepted, to be loved. When I focus on someone's faults, weaknesses, "bad parts", how can I love them, accept them, or even forgive them? Recognizing that I deserve death and that I am imperfect (Romans 3:23, if you don't know it, check it out) is the first step in reconciling differences or even beginning a relationship with a stranger. I hope next time I play, I don't hold it against somebody who wastes time arguing and think I'm somehow better. They need Jesus too.
I'm reading a book by Miles J. Stanford called "The Green Letters." I just finished a chapter about acceptance and how God accepts us because of Christ rather than us working to gain acceptance from God. I have been blessed so far with being accepted on the basketball courts. Being the only white guy there is hard sometimes, like I'm an animal in a zoo to stare at. People I've never met have asked me, "You stay (live) around here?" In other words, "It is very strange to see a person of your skin-color partaking in a basketball game in a very dangerous neighborhood like this one." It was exciting for me this past week to see some guys I met last time I was here. O'Shea, Cory, Boodai, and Bop remember me from a year ago. I'm lucky to get picked up (chosen to play) by them and it's fun to play in a different basketball atmosphere than the one I grew up in. I enjoy playing and I enjoy the chances I get to dive into some of their lives. Please pray for my safety walking to and from the courts, especially at night which is when we normally play and for there to be no harmful altercations over pointless pride and agressive arguing.
Last week, I promised I would start introducing you to the kiddos at the after-school program. First is second grader, Challah (shuh - LAH). She is the little sister of O'Shea and if you happen to have heard or remember me mentioning Keyo from my first internship (girl with leadership skills, counted off an awesome drumline), Keyo is Challah's older sister. Challah is adorable but sometimes doesn't know when to stop talking. She loves to play jump rope but wants to be included with some of the boys games too (soccer, football). I had the privelege of getting to read with her two days last week. She doesn't read good, sorry, goodly, so we read 1st grade books. Yesterday she started sounding out words and got excited when she could do it herself. Typically in the Duval County school systems, kids excel at math, but do terrible in reading. During academic time, she will pretend to be a teacher and pretend to ask us what the answers are (especially for questions she doesn't know, or words she can't read). clever girl. She is normally very well-behaved and has a smile and laugh that will get you every time (and she knows it). She might have the best hand-writing out of all ten students, including the older ones, she just needs help with spelling. I found a picture of us a year ago at the Summer Day Camp.
Please pray:
-that we could help Challah learn how to read the English language (which has many dumb rules, like the silent "b" on the end of dumb).
-that we as a ministry are disciplined to demonstrate the love of Christ through our actions
-that how well my first Bible lesson goes on Monday is not defined by my feelings or effort but by God opening the kids' minds and hearts to understand (hope that sentence made sense).
And finally, if you made it all the way down here, I think I should send you a candy prize because these blogs don't seem to be getting any more concise. For Him,
Andrew
Street ball in Brentwood vs. Organized Basketball leagues that I'm used to:
Street ball: Organized:
-on concrete -hardwood
-no refs -refs
-call your own fouls -refs call fouls
-no coach, no organized plays -coaches call plays
-persuasion is sometimes a necessary skill -refs call is final
-the ball that is used is usually old and rough -indoor ball smooth and fully pumped up
-mental scoreboard -physical scoreboard
-hot!! -fans or AC
-audience made up of players waiting to play next -audience made up of spectators (family)
-games to 16 baskets -highest score wins
-we play for hours -we played for 32-40 minutes
-no water -water bottles or water boys
It's a little different here. With no drawn up plays, a well-executed play consists of improvisation, the unknown, adrenaline, muscle, and trickery. With no ref or scoreboard, responsibility is given (more like taken) by those with the skill of persuasion and loud voices (not me). In every close game I've ever played in here, tensions begin to rise, arguing ensues, defense gets tighter, smack-talk elevates. "it's tie game." "No, we up one!" "No! We just tied it up with that layup!" "No!! You missed that shot bro!!" After a couple minutes of this, we finally continue with playing. For a guy who just wants to play and doesn't put too much importance in winning, I get easily frustrated with these frequent blow-ups.
I'm guessing that everyone on the court has an opinion, including me, about plays that could go either way. Calls, missed calls, what's a foul, what's not a foul, what's traveling, what's a carry. All these things that refs normally deal with, we have to deal with. People argue loudest for an opinion that benefits his team, his side. Even if in his mind he knows he's wrong, he might have the voice and persuasive ability to sway the outcome of the play. The more skilled the player, the more say they seem to have. How strange would it be for a player to say loudly to his teammates, "The ball touched you last," or "I traveled and it's the other team's ball."? Who argues for someone else's benefit? That's weird. I think many people, even Christians are the same way, myself included. I admit, sometimes I will hear a preacher speak some biblical truth and I might think of some other people who need it. I think of other people's faults before my own. I'm no better. Matthew 7:3 comes to mind, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Everyone has a human need to be accepted, to be loved. When I focus on someone's faults, weaknesses, "bad parts", how can I love them, accept them, or even forgive them? Recognizing that I deserve death and that I am imperfect (Romans 3:23, if you don't know it, check it out) is the first step in reconciling differences or even beginning a relationship with a stranger. I hope next time I play, I don't hold it against somebody who wastes time arguing and think I'm somehow better. They need Jesus too.
I'm reading a book by Miles J. Stanford called "The Green Letters." I just finished a chapter about acceptance and how God accepts us because of Christ rather than us working to gain acceptance from God. I have been blessed so far with being accepted on the basketball courts. Being the only white guy there is hard sometimes, like I'm an animal in a zoo to stare at. People I've never met have asked me, "You stay (live) around here?" In other words, "It is very strange to see a person of your skin-color partaking in a basketball game in a very dangerous neighborhood like this one." It was exciting for me this past week to see some guys I met last time I was here. O'Shea, Cory, Boodai, and Bop remember me from a year ago. I'm lucky to get picked up (chosen to play) by them and it's fun to play in a different basketball atmosphere than the one I grew up in. I enjoy playing and I enjoy the chances I get to dive into some of their lives. Please pray for my safety walking to and from the courts, especially at night which is when we normally play and for there to be no harmful altercations over pointless pride and agressive arguing.
Last week, I promised I would start introducing you to the kiddos at the after-school program. First is second grader, Challah (shuh - LAH). She is the little sister of O'Shea and if you happen to have heard or remember me mentioning Keyo from my first internship (girl with leadership skills, counted off an awesome drumline), Keyo is Challah's older sister. Challah is adorable but sometimes doesn't know when to stop talking. She loves to play jump rope but wants to be included with some of the boys games too (soccer, football). I had the privelege of getting to read with her two days last week. She doesn't read good, sorry, goodly, so we read 1st grade books. Yesterday she started sounding out words and got excited when she could do it herself. Typically in the Duval County school systems, kids excel at math, but do terrible in reading. During academic time, she will pretend to be a teacher and pretend to ask us what the answers are (especially for questions she doesn't know, or words she can't read). clever girl. She is normally very well-behaved and has a smile and laugh that will get you every time (and she knows it). She might have the best hand-writing out of all ten students, including the older ones, she just needs help with spelling. I found a picture of us a year ago at the Summer Day Camp.
 |
| (Challah picking up her memory verse craft) |
Please pray:
-that we could help Challah learn how to read the English language (which has many dumb rules, like the silent "b" on the end of dumb).
-that we as a ministry are disciplined to demonstrate the love of Christ through our actions
-that how well my first Bible lesson goes on Monday is not defined by my feelings or effort but by God opening the kids' minds and hearts to understand (hope that sentence made sense).
And finally, if you made it all the way down here, I think I should send you a candy prize because these blogs don't seem to be getting any more concise. For Him,
Andrew
Saturday, September 17, 2011
The Son and the moon
The greatest comeback in two:fifty-two recreation time history!
Two teams of six. Relay race. Obstacle course. Carrying footballs. Red-light, green-light. All in one epic match of concentration, obedience, speed, and teamwork. Each team with a victory, the tie-breaker was underway. The race was on, pretty evenly matched until the last leg. Kids cheering, competitors running on "Green-light!" and stopping on "Red-light!" The anchor leg was a huge mismatch. Chassidy, tiny second-grade girl and Keyshawn, tall and speedy third-grade boy are handed footballs at the same time. As long as Keyshawn doesn't move when I yell "red light", the win was in the bag. However, that's when it happened. When all hope of victory was lost for Chassidy's team, Keyshawn dropped the football. Time went in slow-motion as a shorter and much slower Chassidy crosses the finish a split-second ahead of Keyshawn! Wow! And Sportscenter Top 10 will have had no idea it took place.
The first week of the after-school program is complete....and I am tired. The program is called two:fifty-two based on Luke 2:52 which says, "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." This verse indicates our goal of seeing these 2nd-4th graders grow up mentally, physically, and spiritually. There are ten total kids, (5 boys and 5 girls) and all very unique. 2nd graders include girls Challah (shuh-LAH), Rayshantia (ray-SHAHN-tee-uh), and Chassidy. 3rd graders are boys Alex, Keyshawn, Jeffery, and one girl Charity. 4th graders are boys Diallo (dee-AH-low, not to be confused with Diablo), Emery, and girl Jovonta (juh-VAHN-tay). The thought behind expanding the accepted grade levels was to include more siblings and God has blessed the program with three pairs of siblings (Jeffery and Keyshawn, Challah and Diallo, and Chassidy and Charity). These might just be names and facts to you and you probably don't need to know these things. But for the next nine months, these kids and their families are going to be such big parts of my every day life. Observing child behavior is one of the most confusing activities one could do. The mood-swings. Two kids will be fighting one minute, then the next they'll be best friends. We'll play a card game and a kid will win, declare, "I love this game!" then lose the next, mutter, "This game is stupid/boring." One day, a kid will be disruptive during silent reading time; the next day, that same kid will be reading silently. Come on! How am I supposed to understand these inconsistant behaviors?
If you've worked with kids for a long time, you might find my inexperience amusing. I've realized that I'm terrible with discipline, my loud voice is quiet, my strict tone is mild. I was reading Ecclesiastes 8 and verse 11 has been a helpful reminder when dealing with kids. "When the sentence for a crime is not quickly carried out, the hearts of the people are filled with schemes to do wrong." Kids are not criminals, but they do try to push the limits of rules to see which ones are actually important. I need to be firm. Rules are important. It seems backwards to show that I care about them as human beings by disciplining them when they break rules. Why can't I just let them do what they want and just sit tight until they come to me with a problem or realization that they need some direction and correction? Why can't I just let them figure out what's best on their own? Well, because I love these kids and know they need help, help that I am able to give, help that I am willing to give, help that I need to give, even if it's in the form of discipline. The word "discipline" comes from the latin word discipulus, which meaning "branch of instruction or education", sometimes associated with teaching, knowledge, punishment, learning, etc. The word "disciple" has the same Latin root.
I am no Jesus, but I desire to follow his example (although I fail miserably). Jesus is described as a high priest in Hebrews 4:15, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin." He knows my weakness, He sympathizes, He knows how hard life is, He has been tempted in every way. That's a lot of ways. I hope to reflect the light that shines from Christ. I pray that God is revealed to these kids in a very powerful way. If He wants to use us, our words, our actions, and our loving discipline to reveal Himself, awesome! If not, who am I to question the ways of the Lord?
I don't have much else to say, yet could type for hours about the kids, the program, this past week. Florida is hot. At one point last night there was tons of lightning but no rain (weird) then downpours in a matter of seconds (weirder). My accent is slowly changing and my grammar ain't what it was.
Please pray:
-for a permanent solution to a van. Praise God we were able to rent a van this past week. Just looking to buy something for the long-term.
-for us as leaders to display a consistancy in how we deal with kids and to exemplify Christ through discipline, love, and grace.
-that this ministry is grounded with an attitude of prayer and submission to following God's will.
I am hoping to introduce you to the kids in the next 10 weeks and let you know how we can be praying for them. Tootles.
A beautiful song to listen to while outside looking at the night sky. Be blessed by it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl_3WHW1Tco
Two teams of six. Relay race. Obstacle course. Carrying footballs. Red-light, green-light. All in one epic match of concentration, obedience, speed, and teamwork. Each team with a victory, the tie-breaker was underway. The race was on, pretty evenly matched until the last leg. Kids cheering, competitors running on "Green-light!" and stopping on "Red-light!" The anchor leg was a huge mismatch. Chassidy, tiny second-grade girl and Keyshawn, tall and speedy third-grade boy are handed footballs at the same time. As long as Keyshawn doesn't move when I yell "red light", the win was in the bag. However, that's when it happened. When all hope of victory was lost for Chassidy's team, Keyshawn dropped the football. Time went in slow-motion as a shorter and much slower Chassidy crosses the finish a split-second ahead of Keyshawn! Wow! And Sportscenter Top 10 will have had no idea it took place.
The first week of the after-school program is complete....and I am tired. The program is called two:fifty-two based on Luke 2:52 which says, "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." This verse indicates our goal of seeing these 2nd-4th graders grow up mentally, physically, and spiritually. There are ten total kids, (5 boys and 5 girls) and all very unique. 2nd graders include girls Challah (shuh-LAH), Rayshantia (ray-SHAHN-tee-uh), and Chassidy. 3rd graders are boys Alex, Keyshawn, Jeffery, and one girl Charity. 4th graders are boys Diallo (dee-AH-low, not to be confused with Diablo), Emery, and girl Jovonta (juh-VAHN-tay). The thought behind expanding the accepted grade levels was to include more siblings and God has blessed the program with three pairs of siblings (Jeffery and Keyshawn, Challah and Diallo, and Chassidy and Charity). These might just be names and facts to you and you probably don't need to know these things. But for the next nine months, these kids and their families are going to be such big parts of my every day life. Observing child behavior is one of the most confusing activities one could do. The mood-swings. Two kids will be fighting one minute, then the next they'll be best friends. We'll play a card game and a kid will win, declare, "I love this game!" then lose the next, mutter, "This game is stupid/boring." One day, a kid will be disruptive during silent reading time; the next day, that same kid will be reading silently. Come on! How am I supposed to understand these inconsistant behaviors?
If you've worked with kids for a long time, you might find my inexperience amusing. I've realized that I'm terrible with discipline, my loud voice is quiet, my strict tone is mild. I was reading Ecclesiastes 8 and verse 11 has been a helpful reminder when dealing with kids. "When the sentence for a crime is not quickly carried out, the hearts of the people are filled with schemes to do wrong." Kids are not criminals, but they do try to push the limits of rules to see which ones are actually important. I need to be firm. Rules are important. It seems backwards to show that I care about them as human beings by disciplining them when they break rules. Why can't I just let them do what they want and just sit tight until they come to me with a problem or realization that they need some direction and correction? Why can't I just let them figure out what's best on their own? Well, because I love these kids and know they need help, help that I am able to give, help that I am willing to give, help that I need to give, even if it's in the form of discipline. The word "discipline" comes from the latin word discipulus, which meaning "branch of instruction or education", sometimes associated with teaching, knowledge, punishment, learning, etc. The word "disciple" has the same Latin root.
I am no Jesus, but I desire to follow his example (although I fail miserably). Jesus is described as a high priest in Hebrews 4:15, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin." He knows my weakness, He sympathizes, He knows how hard life is, He has been tempted in every way. That's a lot of ways. I hope to reflect the light that shines from Christ. I pray that God is revealed to these kids in a very powerful way. If He wants to use us, our words, our actions, and our loving discipline to reveal Himself, awesome! If not, who am I to question the ways of the Lord?
I don't have much else to say, yet could type for hours about the kids, the program, this past week. Florida is hot. At one point last night there was tons of lightning but no rain (weird) then downpours in a matter of seconds (weirder). My accent is slowly changing and my grammar ain't what it was.
Please pray:
-for a permanent solution to a van. Praise God we were able to rent a van this past week. Just looking to buy something for the long-term.
-for us as leaders to display a consistancy in how we deal with kids and to exemplify Christ through discipline, love, and grace.
-that this ministry is grounded with an attitude of prayer and submission to following God's will.
I am hoping to introduce you to the kids in the next 10 weeks and let you know how we can be praying for them. Tootles.
A beautiful song to listen to while outside looking at the night sky. Be blessed by it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl_3WHW1Tco
Saturday, September 10, 2011
so underqualified
No one wants to be humbled, do they? It's not my first priority to learn just how messed up I am as a human being with weaknesses and "hidden faults" (Psalm 19:12). I like to think that my life would be a good template or mold for how people should live. I have it all together. If something goes wrong, I turn my head. If I cause a problem, I ignore it to maintain my false view of myself. Every part of my human nature wants to fight off the reality that I am weak, in need of Jesus' self-sacrifice. My heart is divided. I want to read the Bible. I don't want to read the Bible. I want to pray. I don't want to pray. This battle is of a spiritual kind. When I read the Bible, something about it convicts me and shows me that I am not perfect. Who wants to read that about himself? When I pray, it convicts me and shows me that others are more important than myself and that God is way more powerful. How can I see others when I walk around holding a mirror in my hand? God's ways are much higher than mine.
All of Isaiah chapter 55 is awesome but particularly, verses 8 and 9. "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither ae your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" Talk about humbling. As if to say, "Do you see how high the heavens are? Yeah, that's how much greater I am than you." Ever fly in a plane and even the neighborhoods look like ants? Suddenly your life's problems seem to melt away and a view of the world hits you. However intimidating these verses may be, how much more should we rely and trust on the one whose thoughts and ways are that much higher than our own. Psalm 103:11 says, "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him." This comparison with heaven and earth doesn't describe a greater than, less than scenario; it defines the abundant love God has for us. Verses 2 to 4 say, "Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion..." Not only does God forgive all our sins, He also crowns us with love and compasson. Picture that. How humbling a picture that is! The redemption we have through accepting the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ is grace. Undeserved. If you can stomach it, I dare you to read Ezekiel chapter 16. This is about Jerusalem so don't directly put it on your own life as fact; however, I do find it to be a graphic and direct truth to how furiously God loves us people today.
There's my segue. Furious Love. The name of a movie that I recommend. It's a documentary about the healing power of Jesus Christ around the world by Christians humbly praying and loving for hurting and literally broken people. It is powerful film and my take a while to process through. Another dare if you have time.
The after-school program starts in two days. We got the church all cleaned and set up today. Still a lot of painting and carpeting for the office to do but things will get ready. I'm nervous but excited. Luckily, I have a little bit more time to prepare for Bible lessons since week 1 is orientation and week 2 is being taught by Carrie, someone with 20 years of experience teaching kids so that I can see someone else do it. If you no me, you know that I am quiet. In my spiritual walk I have had some frustrating quiet times, comparing myself to Moses who also was not a good speaker. I feel that I would be the last person to be asked to do this. I don't know how to communicate with kids in a teacher/student setting. I do most of my communicating without words. Thinking about this role and even now while writing this blog, I know that the Lord's grace is the only thing I can rely on. 1 Corinthians 2:3-5 is Paul's words to the church in Corinth about his ministry. "I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." Lord, do what you will with this program. Use this ministry the way you want. Use me the way you want. I feel so underqualified for this. Please communicate to these kids through me in a way that they will be able to see your power and understand/see/know that you are God and you crown them with love and compassion as well.
The church I've been attending just finished some weeks of teaching about how to study the Bible. H.B. Charles is a brilliant preacher/teacher who studies over 30 different commentaries a week! And he loves it too!!!?!!! (question mark intended) One thing I will leave you with is a way to apply text. After the stages of observing the text (what is says) and interpreting the text (what it means), we must apply the text. H.B. said that "Interpretation without application is abortion." If your quiet times are working for you, praise God! If you struggle like me, read on. God has used H.B. to help give me some wisdom. What has helped bring me closer to God in my personal quiet time has been spacepets. An acronym. Here we go. First he suggested praying Psalm 119:18, then Psalm 119:24 before even reading the Bible. (Look them up if you can). I should clarify that this is not a magical formula that will produce a better life. If your heart is to get closer to God because you can't live without him, this is just a tool to have a consistant and thorough approach to reading the word.
Spacepets.
Ask yourself as you read the text if there is a:
Sin to confess
Promise to claim
Attitude to change
Command to obey
Example to follow
Prayer to pray
Error to avoid
Truth to believe
Something to thank God for.
Meditate on these things. Ask God how to apply a passage to your life. I pray this blog is not just a long-winded pukefest of whatever I happen to be reading/hearing/learning in a particular week but rather an encouragement to you that we have all sinned and fall short of God's glory (Roman 3:23), we all are nothing in comparison to God, and the grace that comes from the death of Jesus Christ is sufficient for all who would repent and believe.
Prayer:
-Please pray for God to show up at the after-school program and do His will.
-Please pray that God protects this country from any possibe terrorist attack tomorrow or any other day.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pForMWdavzQ
All of Isaiah chapter 55 is awesome but particularly, verses 8 and 9. "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither ae your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" Talk about humbling. As if to say, "Do you see how high the heavens are? Yeah, that's how much greater I am than you." Ever fly in a plane and even the neighborhoods look like ants? Suddenly your life's problems seem to melt away and a view of the world hits you. However intimidating these verses may be, how much more should we rely and trust on the one whose thoughts and ways are that much higher than our own. Psalm 103:11 says, "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him." This comparison with heaven and earth doesn't describe a greater than, less than scenario; it defines the abundant love God has for us. Verses 2 to 4 say, "Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion..." Not only does God forgive all our sins, He also crowns us with love and compasson. Picture that. How humbling a picture that is! The redemption we have through accepting the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ is grace. Undeserved. If you can stomach it, I dare you to read Ezekiel chapter 16. This is about Jerusalem so don't directly put it on your own life as fact; however, I do find it to be a graphic and direct truth to how furiously God loves us people today.
There's my segue. Furious Love. The name of a movie that I recommend. It's a documentary about the healing power of Jesus Christ around the world by Christians humbly praying and loving for hurting and literally broken people. It is powerful film and my take a while to process through. Another dare if you have time.
The after-school program starts in two days. We got the church all cleaned and set up today. Still a lot of painting and carpeting for the office to do but things will get ready. I'm nervous but excited. Luckily, I have a little bit more time to prepare for Bible lessons since week 1 is orientation and week 2 is being taught by Carrie, someone with 20 years of experience teaching kids so that I can see someone else do it. If you no me, you know that I am quiet. In my spiritual walk I have had some frustrating quiet times, comparing myself to Moses who also was not a good speaker. I feel that I would be the last person to be asked to do this. I don't know how to communicate with kids in a teacher/student setting. I do most of my communicating without words. Thinking about this role and even now while writing this blog, I know that the Lord's grace is the only thing I can rely on. 1 Corinthians 2:3-5 is Paul's words to the church in Corinth about his ministry. "I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." Lord, do what you will with this program. Use this ministry the way you want. Use me the way you want. I feel so underqualified for this. Please communicate to these kids through me in a way that they will be able to see your power and understand/see/know that you are God and you crown them with love and compassion as well.
The church I've been attending just finished some weeks of teaching about how to study the Bible. H.B. Charles is a brilliant preacher/teacher who studies over 30 different commentaries a week! And he loves it too!!!?!!! (question mark intended) One thing I will leave you with is a way to apply text. After the stages of observing the text (what is says) and interpreting the text (what it means), we must apply the text. H.B. said that "Interpretation without application is abortion." If your quiet times are working for you, praise God! If you struggle like me, read on. God has used H.B. to help give me some wisdom. What has helped bring me closer to God in my personal quiet time has been spacepets. An acronym. Here we go. First he suggested praying Psalm 119:18, then Psalm 119:24 before even reading the Bible. (Look them up if you can). I should clarify that this is not a magical formula that will produce a better life. If your heart is to get closer to God because you can't live without him, this is just a tool to have a consistant and thorough approach to reading the word.
Spacepets.
Ask yourself as you read the text if there is a:
Sin to confess
Promise to claim
Attitude to change
Command to obey
Example to follow
Prayer to pray
Error to avoid
Truth to believe
Something to thank God for.
Meditate on these things. Ask God how to apply a passage to your life. I pray this blog is not just a long-winded pukefest of whatever I happen to be reading/hearing/learning in a particular week but rather an encouragement to you that we have all sinned and fall short of God's glory (Roman 3:23), we all are nothing in comparison to God, and the grace that comes from the death of Jesus Christ is sufficient for all who would repent and believe.
Prayer:
-Please pray for God to show up at the after-school program and do His will.
-Please pray that God protects this country from any possibe terrorist attack tomorrow or any other day.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pForMWdavzQ
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)