so underqualified

No one wants to be humbled, do they?  It's not my first priority to learn just how messed up I am as a human being with weaknesses and "hidden faults" (Psalm 19:12).  I like to think that my life would be a good template or mold for how people should live.  I have it all together.  If something goes wrong, I turn my head.  If I cause a problem, I ignore it to maintain my false view of myself.  Every part of my human nature wants to fight off the reality that I am weak, in need of Jesus' self-sacrifice.  My heart is divided.  I want to read the Bible.  I don't want to read the Bible.  I want to pray.  I don't want to pray.  This battle is of a spiritual kind.  When I read the Bible, something about it convicts me and shows me that I am not perfect.  Who wants to read that about himself?  When I pray, it convicts me and shows me that others are more important than myself and that God is way more powerful.  How can I see others when I walk around holding a mirror in my hand?  God's ways are much higher than mine.

All of Isaiah chapter 55 is awesome but particularly, verses 8 and 9.  "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither ae your ways my ways,' declares the Lord.  'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"  Talk about humbling.  As if to say, "Do you see how high the heavens are?  Yeah, that's how much greater I am than you."  Ever fly in a plane and even the neighborhoods look like ants?  Suddenly your life's problems seem to melt away and a view of the world hits you.  However intimidating these verses may be, how much more should we rely and trust on the one whose thoughts and ways are that much higher than our own.  Psalm 103:11 says, "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him."  This comparison with heaven and earth doesn't describe a greater than, less than scenario; it defines the abundant love God has for us.  Verses 2 to 4 say, "Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion..."  Not only does God forgive all our sins, He also crowns us with love and compasson.  Picture that.  How humbling a picture that is!  The redemption we have through accepting the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ is grace.  Undeserved.  If you can stomach it, I dare you to read Ezekiel chapter 16.  This is about Jerusalem so don't directly put it on your own life as fact; however, I do find it to be a graphic and direct truth to how furiously God loves us people today.

There's my segue.  Furious Love.  The name of a movie that I recommend.  It's a documentary about the healing power of Jesus Christ around the world by Christians humbly praying and loving for hurting and literally broken people.  It is powerful film and my take a while to process through.  Another dare if you have time.

The after-school program starts in two days.  We got the church all cleaned and set up today. Still a lot of painting and carpeting for the office to do but things will get ready.  I'm nervous but excited.  Luckily, I have a little bit more time to prepare for Bible lessons since week 1 is orientation and week 2 is being taught by Carrie, someone with 20 years of experience teaching kids so that I can see someone else do it.  If you no me, you know that I am quiet.  In my spiritual walk I have had some frustrating quiet times, comparing myself to Moses who also was not a good speaker.  I feel that I would be the last person to be asked to do this.  I don't know how to communicate with kids in a teacher/student setting.  I do most of my communicating without words.  Thinking about this role and even now while writing this blog, I know that the Lord's grace is the only thing I can rely on.  1 Corinthians 2:3-5 is Paul's words to the church in Corinth about his ministry.  "I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling.  My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."  Lord, do what you will with this program.  Use this ministry the way you want.  Use me the way you want.  I feel so underqualified for this.  Please communicate to these kids through me in a way that they will be able to see your power and understand/see/know that you are God and you crown them with love and compassion as well.

The church I've been attending just finished some weeks of teaching about how to study the Bible.  H.B. Charles is a brilliant preacher/teacher who studies over 30 different commentaries a week!  And he loves it too!!!?!!!  (question mark intended)  One thing I will leave you with is a way to apply text.  After the stages of observing the text (what is says) and interpreting the text (what it means), we must apply the text.  H.B. said that "Interpretation without application is abortion."  If your quiet times are working for you, praise God!  If you struggle like me, read on.  God has used H.B. to help give me some wisdom.  What has helped bring me closer to God in my personal quiet time has been spacepets.  An acronym.  Here we go.  First he suggested praying Psalm 119:18, then Psalm 119:24 before even reading the Bible.  (Look them up if you can).  I should clarify that this is not a magical formula that will produce a better life.  If your heart is to get closer to God because you can't live without him, this is just a tool to have a consistant and thorough approach to reading the word.
Spacepets.
Ask yourself as you read the text if there is a:
Sin to confess
Promise to claim
Attitude to change
Command to obey
Example to follow
Prayer to pray
Error to avoid
Truth to believe
Something to thank God for.

Meditate on these things.  Ask God how to apply a passage to your life.  I pray this blog is not just a long-winded pukefest of whatever I happen to be reading/hearing/learning in a particular week but rather an encouragement to you that we have all sinned and fall short of God's glory (Roman 3:23), we all are nothing in comparison to God, and the grace that comes from the death of Jesus Christ is sufficient for all who would repent and believe.

Prayer:
-Please pray for God to show up at the after-school program and do His will.
-Please pray that God protects this country from any possibe terrorist attack tomorrow or any other day.

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pForMWdavzQ