"Do you love it more when God makes much of you or when God enables you to make much of him?"
-John Piper

I was thinking about this question this morning before church.  Keep this question in the back of your mind.  A couple years back, I remember one time listening to a speaker at a conference once say, "You are not defined by the things you do, but by the reasons you do those things."  Two people can do the same exact thing, yet have two completely different motives, which define their character.  Read between the lines.  Don't judge a book by its cover.  Both common idioms (I had to look that up, I'm not that smart) we use over and over, yet sometimes don't think about their meanings in our own lives.  I'll tell you what I mean.  Upon first hearing about 2nd Mile Ministries (which by the way has nothing to do with the Second Mile at Penn State, in case you were wondering) and hearing the facts about the things that happen in the neighborhood, I was shocked.  Prostitution, drug-dealing, murder zone, fighting, cursing, LOUD arguments in the streets.  I still find these things to not be good things, but learning about the reasons for people doing these things, I could begin to understand how without knowing Jesus is an option, poor decisions are made but with respectable intentions.  Let me explain before you question this.

In middle class, the family structures are in most cases patriarchal (dad is the head) but in poverty the family is headed by the mother, or is predominantly matriarchal.  Many families here don't have the presence of husbands and wives in the same household, mostly just a mom.  If that mom has kids, she will need some sort of income (obviously) to survive and provide for her kids.  If she is lucky enough to have a job (many don't have the skills or education), she might not have a car or access to one, so she'll take a bus, which takes away time she could be at home watching the kids, keeping tabs on them.  In some rough cases, with no job, no food, no people to help, prostitution becomes an option.  Still with the good intentions of providing for family, the act is bad.  I'm not going to try to explain good intentions for drug-dealing or killing because I think they are non existant, but I do know that many reasons for making bad decisions have a lot to do with survival, but in every case, sin.

If I judge someone for what they do without taking the time to understand why they are doing it, what chance do I have of entering into a Christ-loving relationship with them?  Judgment creates barriers, distance, walls.  Jerry Bridges's book Respectable Sins is about the "little sins" Christians ignore or don't meditate on.  We might play sin down like it's not sin.  Some of the chapter titles are Ungodliness, Anxiety and Frustration, Discontentment, Unthankfulness, Pride, Selfishness, Lack of Self-Control, Impatience and Irritability, Anger, Judgmentalism, Envy, Jealousy, Worldliness.  Do any of those stick out in your own life?  Mine are bolded and underlined.  Some of the list surprised me.  Like, I know it's good to be patient, but a lack of patience is a sin? Whoa.  Bridges writes, "If we are honest with ourselves, we know that nearly every waking hour, we sin in thought, word, or deed.  Even our best deeds are stained with impure (mixed) motives and imperfect performance."   He goes on later to say, "It's easy for us to condemn those obvious sins (abortion, homosexuality, murder) while virtually ignoring our own sins of gossip, pride, envy, bitterness, and lust, or even our lack of those gracious qualities that Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit."  James 2:10 says, "Whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it."  Although it seems obvious that there are different degrees of sin, sinning once makes you a breaker of God's law, not a breakre of one of God's laws.

Back to the opening question.  When God pulls through and blesses you in some way, is the gift more important to you than the giver?  Do you become prideful for the things that aren't even yours?  In what you do, is it to make much of you or make much of God?  What are your intentions?  Ask God to reveal the imperfections of your heart if you don't know the answers to these questions.  Maybe there's one that you've suppressed or ignored for so long that there is fear to face it again.  God is able to bring you through anything.  Just ask him, believe He can change you and never doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not think that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does (James 1:2-8).

Our prayer should be "Lord, have mercy on me, for I am a sinner."  He will hear your cry.  He will hear your cry.  Listen to this song by Fernando Ortega.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRhujopTr9k

Jovonta (juh-VAHN-tay) is in fourth grade and she has a very gentle way about her.  She is only 10 years old, yet is pretty big for her age, even taller than many volunteers.  She smiles a lot and is friends with Rayshantia.  That's how she was picked for the program.  Although they aren't siblings, that friendship is a connection we definition were grateful to have.  I haven't worked much with Jovonta with school work because she is probably the only student who is able to do their work on their own.  Many of the other kids need someone to help them or even just watch them do their work in order to stay motivated to actually do their work.  I'm glad she's in our program.  She keeps the general craziness level of the program down and that's something God will take credit for.  In a neighborhood that has ranking (making fun of others), I'm concerned for her next few years.  I don't know if she is a target for being made fun of at school or not, but it is high possibility in her future, just for how God made her, nothing she could control.

                                                              (Jovonta during kickball)

Please pray:
-That Jovonta feels loved and accepted every day at our program and that God would reveal Himself to her in a way that tells her how wonderfully and beautifully He has made her.
-That all the buzz about the Second Mile scandal in Pennsylvania does not taint the 2nd Mile Ministry effort here in Jacksonville.  They are two separate organizations and we aren't offiliated with them, in case you were worried.
-For God to reveal more of Himself in the staff's/interns'/volunteers' own individual relationships with God so when brought together to do two:fiftytwo, God would be praised and glorified.