The Better Half - Part 2

If you haven't heard from me or others yet, I'm a married man.  I "jumped the broom" as some of the older folks in the neighborhood have told me.  On June 21st, 2014, I, Andrew Vollmer took Missi Schock to be my wife.  We met here in Jacksonville back in the summer of 2010 and started dating in August of 2011.  If you haven't met her yet, I hope you get to soon.

As I'm writing this blog, I am home by myself.  In our one month of marriage, the longest we've been apart has been just a few hours.  Right now, she is in Wisconsin visiting some of her family where I will be joining her on Wednesday.  If you're in Milwaukee, let me know.  With her not here, I realize more and more how amazing she is.  There's a clear emptiness without her.  I recall talking to her on the phone a few years ago, really just rambling about some unimportant story.  I apologized for what I thought was clearly a boring story but she told me, "I think everything you say is interesting."  She remembers more about what I say than what I remember I say.  She is so thoughtful and has put herself second in our relationship so often.  She can express her feelings and emotions with ease which makes her a very honest person.  I often have the same facial expressions when I'm happy, sad, or angry so it's refreshing to be with someone who can emote.  We share silly moments and serious moments.  She makes me feel like I'm a great leader even when I feel I'm not.  She is a great encouragement to me and I'm so blessed with grace from her when I mess things up.

I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with her.  I think I've cried more with her, laughed more with her, talked more with her than any other person.  She is my best friend.

I want to tell you about the day the whole marriage thing started.

First of all, there is nothing quite like having family and friends from different parts of your life come together to celebrate with you.  It makes my life seem more clear, like when you put on glasses for the first time.  To spare you from details about each and every person in attendance and how God used them in my life, I'll try to give you an overview of the wedding for those who could not attend.

It was beautiful!

The End





Just kidding.  Well, it was beautiful, but for so many more reasons than would meet the eye.  We got so many compliments about the venue, the view of the river, the koi fish and turtles out front, the classy-looking mansion inside. But what I'd like to share are the moments I will probably always remember.  I'll remember my groomsmen taking a selfie right before handing us the rings and all the fun we had at the beach earlier that day playing wiffle-ball with Missi's dad and her brothers and nephew.  I'll remember dance-battling with Challah and Diallo (sister and brother) who were our flower girl and usher, who have been a big part of my life since moving to Jacksonville.  I'll remember how full the dance floor was from start to finish.  I'll remember the faces of people that traveled far to see us for only a couple hours.  I'll remember my brother and father's speeches, about them being humbled by the work God was doing in me and respecting me.  I'll remember dancing with my mom.  For some reason, that was the closest I was to crying that day.  You are such an amazing woman, Mom.  Sorry we didn't do a tap dance routine.  I know you would've been down.  I'll remember being asked to dance by Missi's mom and sharing in some fun moments with Missis' side of the family.

You might be wondering, where is Missi in all these future memories?  Well.....here we go.  Missi and I chose to see each other before the ceremony because it took a lot of nerves away and we got many of the pictures done beforehand.  Some of you in attendance know about this, but when we did our "first-look" photos, the photographers gave us some space and I played a song on the guitar for Missi.  I first heard this song years before I met her, but during our engagement I really wanted to learn it and play it for her.  Some of you wanted to know what song it was so here's a link to it.  It's the only place I know it's recorded. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NMqDgtvM8E)  Worship leader and singer Evan Wickham wrote it for his wedding.

Not being a big fan of doing traditional wedding things for traditions sake, I wanted the wedding to be meaningful beyond the fact that we were making a life-time commitment to each other.  But how to display that better?  We decided to do a foot-washing at the ceremony to display our commitment to serving each other just as Jesus had washed his disciples' feet.

I'm excited to begin this journey with Missi.  The world is big and we're just two people.  Time is long and we'll be here for just a few decades.  Only gone for one day, she is already missed.  I pray that in the ways we are different, that we'd shape each other.  In the ways we are the same, we'd help each other grow.  We've already faced some things in marriage that many don't, and it's brought us closer to each other and closer to God.  Please pray we'd continue to serve each other, laugh, cry, and talk more and more.

Playing Catch Up

It's almost exactly halfway through summer vacation for teachers and students all across the country.  I'm not really a teacher, but I have felt the definite need for rest from the past school year.  By far, the 2013-2014 school year has been the most difficult time of ministry I've experienced.  There are many outward circumstances that have contributed to this, but I confess that my reactions (or lack thereof) to those circumstances have made situations harder to deal with.

Probably the worst subconscious decision that people make is when the going gets tough, striving to handle it with your own strength.  I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but when I have "control" or "power" or "authority", it can sometimes get to my head and make me think that I did something special.  I did that.  Coach Carter, acted by Samuel L. Jackson in the movie Coach Carter, upset with his team getting cocky after winning a couple games, decides to cheer for himself at practice after his team executed a play and scores.  "That's me baby! That's me! I did that! I drew that up! Yeah! Ha HA! Run it again."  He did this to prove a point.  Did the coach score those two points?  No.  One of his players tells him, "Coach, your shoe's untied."  After Coach ties his shoes he declares, "Whooo!  Look at that bow!  Look at that!  I tied that!"

Even if I correctly take life's circumstances, figure out the perfect way to handle it or fix it on my own strength, knowledge, and power, it would be crazy for me to get cocky and feel good about myself for something that God has enabled me to do.  God has every thing in his control.  As Psalm 93 begins, "The LORD reigns!"  He is in control of everything.

I realize that I haven't blogged since March.  Leading the after school program has taken a lot of energy out of me and has been a huge priority.  I've never led anything this big before and being unsure of how to handle specific situations has put me in a state of suspended weakness.  After a few meetings with my boss and explaining the difficult year and all that came with it, she had the audacity to pray graciously to God, thanking Him for putting me through such a hard year so that I could see things from my inner being come to the surface more.  I kind of see her point.  Had I not have had a rough year, there would be a lot that I wouldn't have realized about myself.  I can get easily embittered towards just about anything, I had tremendous pride, I like to have control, I have a hard time trusting anybody but myself, the list goes on.

However, I must declare that I identify with Christ because He took all these sins and buried them in the tomb and put them to death with Himself on the cross.  Gone.  The power of these sins are no longer powerful.  With Christ, I am made free from those things.  Galatians 5:1 says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves become enslaved by a yoke of slavery."

There was one day where a first grade boy refused to stay seated at snack time.  He wanted more apples right then and now even though he was told he'd get more soon.  He proceeded to sit under the table refusing to move.  After much screaming, biting, scratching, kicking, punching, he had to be removed.  How would you feel about your ability to handle that situation?  What's more frustrating is that when I've gone to the park with this kid, he was perfectly fine.  It's days like this that I wish I was in a position where I'm confident in my own self, my own abilities, and my own control.

Probably in another blog, when I've taken a good amount of time to process through the school year, I'll tell you more about the visible things God has been doing in my life and the kids' lives, but right now, I'd like to share some of my favorite pictures I took since August 2013.  Not all are of work or ministry necessarily, but all show a small glimpse of what life looked like for me this past year.

This is Ferrell.  Give a kid your phone and they will take some awesome pictures with it.  Challah and Ferrell were the only kids to get picked up from Brentwood Elementary for most of the year.  They were the only kids in the van for about 20 minutes before picking up the rest of the kids at North Shore Elementary.  They made the van ride less boring for sure.

Sunrise at Jacksonville beach.  Great way to spend a day off.  Only a few dog walkers and extreme runners up this early.

Ferrell and Challah helping pick up trash in the streets.  Every other week, we helped out in a nutritional garden in our neighborhood (planting, watering, weeding, raking, lifting, etc.) as well as pick up garbage.  Surprisingly, they looked forward to doing this each time.  These two were good sports about it.

Getting a new phone for me means pocket dialing people and hitting buttons accidentally.  When my new phone is shaken, it opens up the camera.  When I leave my phone in my pocket while playing basketball or kickball, it might take 50 photos before I realize it.  This pic was taken through my mesh shorts while I was defending Shavez, Challah's older brother in basketball.  I thought this was pretty awesome.

 

Our beautiful Jacksonville arboretum.

We learned about Japan one day and the co-director's father trained in karate while he was in college.  Awesome fun! HYAH!!!

On one of our field trips to the park, Mekhi insisted on climbing a tree and getting down by himself with no help.  I see a lot of similarities between Mekhi and myself.  No bragging here, but he is very smart, observant, and independent, but he also has a very hard time trusting people, especially adults.

Ernest on Valentine's Day got this huge stuffed bear and didn't know who to give it to.  Classic Ernest!  Big personality,  a big time player making big time plays in big time games.

Pure joy.  Challah's younger sister Quran is pulling my good friend Ernest in a little toy car thingy.  I'm not sure which of the two is having more fun.

Charity trying to imitate Ray Charles' picture.  Spot on!

At one point during the school year, there was a fire at North Shore Elementary School.  Luckily nobody was hurt and only damage to inside the ceilings and walls of one or two classrooms was done.  This meant that the whole school, during the "cold" part of the year, was evacuated to the nearby high school football field until dismissal.  The local news came and our program kids were all excited at the chance to possibly be on TV.  Mekhi, who the camera is pointing to, answered the man's questions so willingly and eloquently for a third grader.  I also thought that this picture showed how sweet it was for Michaella (in white T-shirt) to offer her leopard-print jacket to her chilly younger brother.

Rick's Cafe in Negril, Jamaica.  Workers at the restaurant would jump in water from 85 ft in the air for $20.  I jumped from only like 35 ft and it was terrifying.  I was in Jamaica for a buddy's wedding.  It was definitely an experience.

Hopefully, this attempt to get you caught up on my life was sufficient.  Probably the biggest news of my life so far I obviously have yet to tell you.  I gots marriaged!!!  June 21st, I married Missi Schock.  This will be a blog in the future.

Opening the Blinds

Awesome homemade basketball hoop

My sphere of influence in Brentwood is a small percentage of who is actually here.  I get the opportunity to spend most of my days with about ten kids from the community, some of which I feel are more and more a part of my family.  I volunteer at North Shore Elementary school and help out whichever teachers need help.  This ends up being around ten total faculty members at various times throughout the year.  If I’m in a classroom, I may help one or two kids with their reading.  If I'm walking the hallways, I may see a handful of kids wave to me, since they're supposed to walk silently.  The less fearful of their teachers will say, “Hey, Mr. Andrew!”  I'll wave back and put my pointer finger over my mouth.  At the basketball court, I might shoot around with the only other guy there, or, if I'm lucky, there will be a bunch of people playing, others calling “Next”, and others just watching.  Walking to the park, I’ll see an older gentleman sitting on the porch next door who shares a wave with me and an “Alright now,” which I've learned means, “Hello.  How’s it going? I’m great. Have a great day,” all in two words.  If I walk by others who are outside, “How y'all doin?” is the polite response.  Not once has the greeting been poorly or confusedly received.  Add up all the little encounters with people I've had who live and work in Brentwood and how many do you get?  Ten+10+1.5+a handful of kids+a bunch of people+an older gentleman+whoever else=only God knows.  Sorry I couldn't give an exact number but the total number is only a fraction of who is actually here.

Former 2nd Mile summer intern, Blake
came to help out on his Spring Break

The past two weeks, two groups of people, one from the University of South Carolina and the other from Blackhawk Church in Madison, WI chose to give up their Spring Breaks in order to help serve 2^nd Mile Ministries and the Brentwood community.  Over 45 college students encountered not only the darkness and brokenness that weighs heavily on the people here, but also the joy, the beauty, and the passion of the people.  Fear turned to love.  I could write an entire blog about the many tasks that we've all achieved the past two weeks, but the journey is so much more interesting.

One of the best experiences I've had in the past three years here happened this past Tuesday when three others and I passed out flyers door to door for our Summer Day Camp coming up.  There’s something about not only walking down streets that you've never had to walk or drive down before, but intentionally going up to every door and knocking.  When I walk to the court, it’s easy to ignore all the houses and the people in them when I'm focused on the excitement of playing.  But when my brain told my feet to direct my body towards each house, it reminded me of when I clean my room after a while of letting things pile up in the corners.  It reminded me of the first time I dived into a pool.  Once you go for it, you gotta go for it.  “Who is it!”  “I’m with 2^nd Mile Ministries and we're running a free summer day camp at the yellow church by the library.  Do you have any kids between the ages of five and twelve?”  At this point, many open the door and the most beautiful thing happens.  Many unlock their deadbolts, open the doors, and peak their beautiful faces out into the sunlight.  Our eyes meet and I'm wondering, What’s their story?  How beautiful, unique, and powerful is my God?  Conversations would start about families, how long they've lived in the neighborhood, where we were from, or about church.

Ferrell and Mekhi from our after school program helping the Spring Break
teams with some hammering

There was mostly encouragement or excitement, “Keep doin whatcha doin,” or, “You can take my kids right now,” with a chuckle.  Many of the people, regardless of whether or not they had kids, understood the importance of having a positive place for kids to go and even freeing up parents from having the stresses of watching their kids all summer.  A couple houses could've cared less about the camp and just wanted to get to know us.  Probably my favorite encounter was when we approached a house that was booming with music, not just any music, but some real old school Motown.  At the door we were met by a woman perhaps in her fifties.  “Love the music!” I told her.  “Thank you, my brother and I are singers.  Come on in, check this out.”  Curious and with a feeling of safety, we stepped inside to the loud house with loud speakers, CD’s everywhere, a small terrier sitting on a sleeping bag, and in the corner was a large box about shoulder-high, looked like some recording equipment from decades ago, and a microphone.  She grabbed the mic and began singing a soulful tune.  Dexter, her brother came out and showed me some CD’s he was selling, I think of himself singing, but could've possibly been burned of other bands.  I wasn't about to ask.  I had told them that I was getting married.  “We sing at weddings!  Here’s our number, give us a call!”  Dexter had an index card ready with his contact info written on it.  This brother and sister duo was full of life and a ton of fun.  I intend to go back a purchase the CD that had “Jazz” written on it which Dexter said was “one bad CD” meaning it was good.  Confusing, I know.  My knowledge of who and what was in Brentwood was getting clearer little by little.  I had no idea how little I knew about this place.

Although that was probably my favorite encounter while flyering Tuesday, no experience I’ve ever had with a neighbor compares with meeting Ken.  I don't even know where to start.  I walked up to a porch where I heard kids playing inside so I was getting ready for an excited parent to hear about camp.  The door opened, at least five kids in plain sight, then a man walked out and listened to our spiel.  Another man came out onto the porch, concerned, perhaps even in a protective manner.  He was asking very specific questions.  “This ain't one of those Harry Potter camps is it?”  I hope you'd be clueless on how to respond because I was.  I could only come up with, “Huh?”  He went on, “You know there’s all kinds of witchcraft and evil out there that even Christians are entertained by.”  However crazy I might have thought this man was initially, his boldness, his willingness to talk, and his knowledge of so many topics kept me on his porch just listening.  After about 45 minutes of passionate talk from this very loving father about the crisis of fatherlessness in the ghetto, God’s desire for his children not to be hypnotized by Satan’s device of worldliness, how racism is perpetuated by common ignorance, and so many other subjects that I know are close to God’s heart, I was hanging on to every word.  This writer, spoken word artist, and rapper in his upper thirties or young forties quoted two full pages from his book called “Fear”.  He also spit a few verses from one of his rap songs.  I wish I could remember more of the content but I can tell you that God has blessed this man with words and powerful use of language.  I have so much respect and admiration for this man who has turned to Christ, is concerned for the young fatherless boys in the hood, and is so devoted to his children, one of which knows three languages and is applying to Harvard soon.  Ken spoke to us with great intensity, close proximity, and beautiful eloquence.  I proudly shook his hand and told him that if he ever sees me walking to the court he should say hey.  His demeanor changed from intense to playful, “You sayin you got some game?”  I'm excited to know that in his seemingly busy schedule he still goes to play basketball and I can’t wait for the opportunity to knock on his door and challenge him.  This guy needs to be the leader of this neighborhood I thought.

Please pray these encounters would not just be quick on and off of a light switch.  Pray that God would take away any fear I have of immersing myself in the lives of people in this community.  Pray for wisdom in difficult situations and for most of all, the gospel to shine through whatever mess I make of it.  I've been really encouraged by the Lord this week.  I'll pray you'd desire more and more of who God is.

It Takes Family

I've gotta be honest.  Coming back to Jacksonville after Christmas was hard.  Leaving the snow, the cold, but most importantly, the closeness of family and friends.  I realize that my only bridge between Jacksonville and my family that I have right now is Missi, my soon-to-be-wife.  Only a little over four months to go!  She has been a huge support to me when I'm having a hard day or need time to process things I'm going through.  I can't wait to see multiple worlds collide on that beautiful day where we officially become husband and wife.  I came back to Jacksonville Dec. 27th and when I was meditating on the great time I had with family, I began crying.  What?  Why am I crying about this? I wondered.  I don't cry like this.  I realize that I'm not going to get to see my baby niece learn how to crawl or take her first few steps.  She will grow up with an uncle who comes to visit once in a while, not enough to build a relationship.  It hurts to think about that.  I won't see my sister as she grows in her faith.  I want to see my brother becoming a better and better father.  As time goes on, our family, once in my eyes as a big tree trunk, has grown tall and we each have our own branch.  We are still part of the same tree, but growing apart.  As we have our own families, more and more branches begin.

It seems each time I go back to Wisconsin, I lose a little bit of what I once remembered.  Not seeing the transition of changes makes it hard to understand or feel comfortable, feel at home.  Things as simple as a new kitchen table can make me feel strangely out of place.  The strange thing actually is that whenever I'm in a transition period, I never realize it.  I take those moments for granted often.  Knowing this, I really pray that this blog post blesses you in that in just the past couple of months, I've either been directly involved or an onlooker of so much transition and growth among the people God has put in my life here.  My recent absence from the blog world is not a result of nothing important happening, but the result of too much going on to even comprehend or communicate.

A few snippets from the past two months.

[Action Day includes taking to the streets and mowing lawns, picking up trash, weeding, basically making the forgotten sidewalks and empty lots clean once again, at least for a time.  Some of the middle school students that attend "Connect", the middle school program, came out to volunteer their time and put their hands to the shovels.  Diallo, who I talk about a lot, is growing into a great servant leader.  He has a general understand of right from wrong and is very teachable.  That trait I feel is important in becoming a leader.  Proverbs 12:15, "the wise listen to advice."  Growing up with nieces and nephews my whole life, it's been easier to relate with lots of different ages of kids as if family.  I don't ever feel like a father to these kids, nor should I, but loving them is easier if I imagine them as family.  I hope Diallo is able to be an usher at our wedding.  God is building into him character.]

[Every other Wednesday, the schools in Duval County have an early release from school so teachers have some time to plan, and in my opinion, just breathe.  What this means for an after school program is an extra hour of planning.  Luckily, our ministry has had a long-lasting relationship with Ron Pauline from the community who runs a nutritional garden to educate the community about health and nature.  He has graciously taken on our little rascals for this extra hour as we plant seeds, pull weeds, water plants, and pick up garbage off the streets nearby.  This old soul with a story ready at his fingertips all the time often talks about the importance of hard work, communities raising children (not just the parents), and respecting other people.  The kids have fun but have short attention spans and would rather throw rotten vegetables around, but it's a process.]

[Leon, our only second grader in the program, has struggled all year with reading and writing.  We've even made intentional efforts to have individual adults work with him but his inconsistent attendance has made this difficult.  I worked hard with him one day just to get him to write 15 of his weekly spelling words into sentences.  It was a challenge and he usually has a great attitude but he isn't as quick.  He fixes his handwriting with a smile, "Whoops, forgot I need a capital 'I'."  There have been rumors that he was moving to a difficult school a few weeks ago but he hasn't gone yet.  I have the privilege of coming to his classroom at his school.  Weeks later after helping him, I was grading his spelling test last week, on a test that I know he didn't get too much help from us, and he got 14 out of 15!  AND, his handwriting wasn't all that bad (for him).]

[I got to be there for the first time Emery, a middle schooler, ever played basketball.  It was fun to play two-on-two against Diallo and his older brother.  There were things I got to teach Emery about the game that I never thought about before.  "Emery, you gotta catch the pass first before you try to dribble it out of the air.  Good, now make sure you see where I am before you pass it to me."  It was fun.]

All of these positive experiences have grown these kids and even myself in some way.  They encourage me to be a good role-model and follower of Christ so they can see that my strength doesn't come from myself.  I think God grows us in two ways--in those positive, heart-warming, fun hangout times, but also in the painful, scared, alone, and weak moments.  There are four girls in our after school program that have interconnected lives due to some pretty crumby life experiences, and they're all not even 12 years old yet.

I actually wrote out a long version of the story with details and it got too crazy and confusing that I just deleted it.  Basically, imagine that your mom tried to kill you and your sibling at a young age, she's out of the picture now.  Your dad can't provide for you financially so you have no electricity or much food.  Luckily, the mom of a friend you met at an after school program, out of her huge heart, has taken you and your sibling in.  You now have food, electricity, a mother figure, and you live with a friend.  After a few months of not living with your dad, you miss not seeing him as often as you used to and on top of that, this new "mom" is tired of you wetting the bed and breaking things and fighting with your sibling (which you were used to doing at the old house).  She gives you both back to your dad who now has a drug debt and still no electricity or food.  He gives you over to some people he knows that also have kids that go to the same school.  After being turned over to them, it turns out there's no room for your sibling so they get kicked out and have to find another place to live.  The mom who took you both in the first place realizes that your situation now is worse and decides to try again to bring them both back.  But the problem is, you want to stay because your new friend will be alone now.  To cut to the chase, both girls are back with the first "mom" and we signed up the new friend as well so that those friendships and a positive relationship can be sustained.

If you didn't follow that, I understand.  I don't know exactly who is reading this right now, but if you're like me, you've had it so easy.  I never had to think twice about whether or not I'd have food or electricity or love from family, I just had it.  I can't imagine what some of the kids in this neighborhood experience.  I'm in no place to say, "Everything will turn out fine."

When I came to Jacksonville, the verse that God gave me to help sever my geographical attachment to my biological family was "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." (Matthew 19:29)

The people of Brentwood.  They are not replacements for my real family, but I do love these people as family.  Please pray for our ministry when you think of us.  Please pray for those girls who are still transitioning to living with each other again, and pray especially for the mom who has taken on a big burden of adding kids to her life, not to mention one on the way.

Let it Snow

I wake up.  Shiver.  Realize my comforter only reaches my ankles.  Feet dangle in the cool room air, the source of my increasing alertness.  I tuck my arms in close to my chest and roll onto them, trying to find any heat hidden in the room.  Quivering aside, it brings joy to me, the chill does.  My nose, fingertips, and toes feel something, a break in the normal comfortable night's sleep, causing my whole body to be at unrest.  Yes, I try to find that warmth again, but at least I know that the cold exists.

Despite what probably everyone thinks and says, Florida can get cold.  If you do not live in Florida and I told you the high and low for today, you'd disagree with my previous statement, because, of course, you might take 50 degrees in a heartbeat, and that is our low.  Seeing my breath at night freaks me out when growing up it was normal this time of year.  Our high today (don't judge) is 75 and just by standing outside and looking at the blue skies, the people out and about, you'd think maybe the end of summer, maybe beginning of autumn, probably not Dec. 20th.  Tonight, I'll be intentionally going out of my way to enter into the frozen tundra, make my extremities burn with the biting cold....and there will be joy.  Wisconsin, here I come!

I have to be honest, these past few months of ministry have been the most challenging for me, not because of anything especially circumstantially difficult, but because it feels as if I've been put on skis and pushed down a mountain.  The challenge looked exciting at first.  This is exciting and new.  Maybe I could do this well.  However, it feels like I have only one ski on.  Sometimes it feels like I was made more for sledding, not skiing.  I didn't know I needed balance, a strong foundation to keep me grounded.  I didn't realize how much protection from the wind and cold I'd need.  As I'm going down the seemingly never-ending hill, I'm slowly learning how to ski and balance, due to many learning experiences through short tumbles and falls.  However, I'm still not enjoying the skiing, this years responsibilities, maybe not even realizing the amazing fact that I'm skiing down a mountain.  I love the cold and the snow, I love the people of Brentwood and sharing life with them.  Skiing though, is not what I expected to do with this year.  Skiing makes me despise the cold for making the experience of skiing so unwanted.  Skiing makes me despise the snow for making the ground beneath my feet harder to balance while skiing.

Two days already on winter break (sorry for those still working or in school) and I've felt a warmth that I wasn't expecting to feel this "cold" school year.  Let me show you using three pictures from the past three days.

This is the last day of school before break for students at North Shore Elementary, where I volunteer twice a week.  The music teacher (in the Santa hat) brought the entire school in the cafeteria and each grade performed a song they'd been working on.  Normally I see the kids in a classroom setting, working hard, concentrating, getting disciplined, but to see them smiling and laughing all the way ha ha ha was something very beautiful.  I know magic isn't real but the very definition of joy seemed to manifest into something physical and visible.  Warm.

This is Diallo.  Perhaps you recognize him from previous blogs the past couple years.  He is now in middle school, no longer in the two:fiftytwo After School Program for only 2nd-5th graders.  He is involved with Connect, our new middle school program and he is growing in so many ways.  Even though I don't get to see him every day this year, it's been great to continue building into him the few times I do him.  We're not supposed to have favorites, but he's one of mine.  Here he is at the beach yesterday where some of us went fishing in the ocean.  Those are not snowballs, it's foam from the waves (yes, I realize he is still in shorts and a T-shirt, it was rather nice out).  He was preparing to get me with the foam.  He did.  But he should've known I'd chase him down the beach and get him back.  He's a lot of fun and it's awesome to still hang out with him and see how God is filling him with love and leadership.  Getting warmer.

Here are Emery and Kyle fishing.  Kyle, in whose age I'm close to, is teaching Emery, who is also in middle school now and was previously in our after school program, how to cast.  (Sorry for the long and weird sentence).  We used live shrimp in hopes of catching some big fish.  I'm not ashamed to say this, but I had no idea what shrimp looked like alive.  These were huge, not to mention unfried.  Both Diallo and Emery weren't fans of getting them out of the bucket, or hooking them for that matter.  For those of you who fish, you probably have an understanding for the patience and relaxation fishing forces on you.  People who rely on fish for their food amaze me.  I'd have to have a huge faith in God's provision for sure.  The past couple days have been relaxing without having to be responsible for planning, teaching, disciplining, etc.  Even warmer.

Just living life with these young men is like sledding to me, what I'd rather be doing all the time, but I know God has me skiing for a reason unknown to me.  Maybe I'll be great at skiing.  Maybe he's humbling me.  Maybe I'm almost at the bottom of the mountain.  Maybe there's a sled at the bottom.  Maybe better skis.  One thing's for sure, I love the cold.  I love the snow.

This year for Christmas, I'm giving a resignation to myself from myself.  If I want to sled and God wants me to ski, Lord be my strong foundation to keep my balance, Lord be my protection from the wind and the cold, be my second ski, get me to the bottom how you want me to, as an obedient child of yours.  Found it.

Merry Christmas.  I pray your spirits be made bright by the light that denied his powerful place to become a baby in a manger born from a virgin.  Enjoy family, friends, and finding some warmth from the cold.

Light up the Darkness

Experience breeds improvement.  A couple weeks ago, we hosted our fifth annual Family Fall Festival.  There were over 1,000 in attendance, enjoying all the trunk games, hot dogs, nachos, pickles, boiled peanuts, cake walk, bounce house, kickball, music, egg walk, and most important, CANDY!  This was the biggest festival we've ever had.  We made lots of connections with organizations, schools, parents, and churches.  Every volunteer had their role.  Restocking cars with candy, picking up trash, serving food, setting up tables, running games, making sure that the neighborhood felt loved and served.  Here are some pictures from the event.
http://www.2ndmile-jax.com/photos/family-fall-festival-2013/

We got to see many students again that attended our summer day camp, families were asking if the ministry did stuff throughout the school year that their kids could either volunteer for or be a part of.  As a result, quite a few people signed up for more information about Connect, our middle school program, and we even got another student signed up for the two:fiftytwo After School Program.  Thanks again for all the prayers about this recruiting.  It has been a challenge but God has been providing us with willing and grateful parents desiring to have their kids go to "camp" throughout the school year.  I mentioned last blog that we signed up a girl named Khamari who was at summer day camp.  About two weeks ago, Jashawn (jay-SHAUN) was signed up to be a part of our program.  He's in 4th grade and was also at the summer day camp.  Jashawn stutters when he talks.  The times that he can talk fluently, unfortunately, are when he's name-calling, and this boy has a large repertoire of options.  It's almost kind of like a tick, where even if he tries to control it, he can't.  He generally has good attitude and genuinely wants to follow directions, I feel, but it's difficult for him.  Please pray that the name-calling would stop, that he wouldn't be a bad influence on the other students but would cause them to help him be a leader rather than follow his example.


Tonight, we will be hosting a vision dinner here at North Pearl Baptist Church in the courtyard.  The dinner is to spread awareness of not only the ministry but more importantly, how the building next to church will be used as a community center once renovations are complete.  To prep this week, we've had to set up lights, since the event will be outside, we will be setting up tables, chairs, picture boards showing different aspects of the ministry.  It's hard to anticipate what the evening will exactly look like, unsure of exactly how many guests, unsure of weather (although it doesn't look like it'll rain, might just be a little chilly), (also, in Florida, the word "chilly" can be translated as below 60 degrees), and I don't exactly know what the table set-up will be.  Despite everything unknown to me, I know God will be present and He will be ultimately in control of it all.  He knows the exact day that all the funding for the building will be raised.  He knows who will show up, who will give, whose hearts the event will touch.  Much like the Family Fall Festival, everyone involved has their part to play in this event.  The members of North Pearl Baptist Church are stellar on their southern cooking.  I can smell the collard greens just in the other room right now as I type in our office.  Musicians, parking attendants, flashlight tour guides, speakers, a preacher, greeters, and food servers.  As we string Christmas lights throughout the old naked and leaky building, I can't help but think about the beauty that lights create.  Despite lots of water on the nasty dusty floor, the Christmas lights double in the reflection.  What would normally look like a scene from a haunted house movie will look like a warm and inviting place to walk around and drink hot chocolate.  The courtyard has strings of lights running across it, making a dead basketball court cement slab look like a classy outdoor dinner party.

The inner city closest to you may not be a place you'd actively go to hang out.  It might be scary to think about what bad thing might happen to you should you be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.  It is my hope, not only at this dinner, not only through writing these blogs, but also through the way my ministry family and I live that we'd be able to bring light out this darkness.  Wherever God is, His light is there also.  Just because a lot of very evil things occur in this neighborhood does not mean it's any darker than a place where not as much crime happens.  Sin is everywhere, but thank God that He is too.  "Urban" and "inner city" have so many negative connotations.  Hopefully, we can show you at some point and not just tell you about the many beautiful and bright things already in this community.  Please pray for this dinner to be memorable, as it's right in the building's courtyard, that the right people come, and that we'd be trusting in God's provision and timing for all of this to come together.

Mine Before Pearl's

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." 

If there's one trait that I've been fortunate to have it's being slow to speak.  I'm not always slow to judge or slow to anger, but I know how to keep my mouth shut.  I also know how to not speak when it is probably best to say something, so definitely not perfect.  I recently watched Dead Poet's Society and this quote opened up a new world to some private school students.  One of their teachers, Mr. Keating, was once part of this society that read poetry and "sucked the marrow out of life."  He went against the flow, encouraging the students to be free-thinkers.  Ripping pages from text books.  Standing on tables.  Kicking soccer balls while reading lines from poetry accompanied by classical music.  Walking uniquely in the courtyard.  Basically, breaking rules but not laws.  Questioning truth but not denying it.

I've realized in the past few months of ministry that a lot of my thoughts and actions reflect the pride and selfishness that were evicted by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ but still claim false residence in my heart.  I'm very "me" focused.  My job, which is supposed to be about serving and helping others, has morphed into a monster that feeds on everything and everyone around me for my own meaning and life.

I live in Jacksonville, FL.  In the Brentwood neighborhood.  Pearl World.  22nd and Pearl St.  A couple years ago, I named this blog Pearl's Before Mine meaning that I wanted to live in Pearl World and serve the interests and well-being of this neighborhood before my own.  Where that was the initial heart and mission of mine, it has been reversing and only now I am realizing this switch with my own eyes.  My hope is to go back and revisit the origins of my decision to go to the woods and live on purpose.  Growing up where the majority of people are like me made it easy to believe everyone and every place in the world had the same values as I had.  Now, living where most people are not like me, seeing the world through others' eyes has allowed me to understand life just a little bit more.  It's not about me.  I don't know or have the right answer to the right thing to do in every situation in every part of the world.  It's been easy for me to be quick to listen and slow to speak because there's so much that I don't know.

If you've seen Dead Poet's Society, who do you identify with?  Are you one of the board members of the school who wants everyone to follow the rules and not question the "perfect" system set up?  Are you like Mr. Keating, wanting to encourage the next generation to not fall into the norms of the world and find truth?

In moving to Jacksonville, I don't want you to think that it was a defiant or even deliberate choice to try to be different or even find the meaning of life.  I have already found life.  (John 14:6)  I was simply being led to a place different from my upbringing in order to love and serve and see grow a community that learns about Jesus and falls in love with him.

Going against the flow has nothing to do with wanting to disrupt the flow or judging those in the flow; it is because we know in our hearts that there is more to just doing what we want, more to just accomplishing goals and then striving for better, longer, higher, stronger.  It's as if we fear letting go of our faith in ourselves.  I can remember from middle school reading Where the Red Fern Grows and a raccoon is caught in a trap because it's holding on to a shiny piece of silver (I think).  To get free all it has to do is let go and its paw won't be so big and stay trapped.

Todd Anderson, a quiet student, wanting desperately to get out of this trap of being unable to speak and feeling worthless, finally decides to let go of everything his silence has made him believe.  In probably the most powerful ending to a movie I've seen, he literally stands up for his recently fired teacher Mr. Keating, not to defy the very angry replacement who commands him to sit down, but out of a love for Mr. Keating helping him let go. (a clip to explain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLFQYbjYsso)

As I struggle with living for just myself, please pray that the proddings of the Holy Spirit, which often suggest I do or say something that will disrupt the norm, would help build my faith to trust in Him so that He would be glorified and would use me to bring others closer to Him.

A few things to be praying for:
-Oct. 26th is our 5th annual Family Fall Festival!  Pray it serves the community well, that it wouldn't rain, and that it'd be a safe event.
-Nov. 14th we will be hosting a Donor Dinner to help raise awareness as well as support for the building that will hopefully soon be transformed into a community center.  Pray that the right people would come and that the amount of funds would come in that would allow contractors to begin working.
-Nov. 16th will be our community action day where anyone is welcome to help mow lawns, pick up trash, weed, edge, etc.  Pray that the community would be blessed by those who come help.

Answer to prayer:
-Khamari, a 4th grade girl from North Shore Elementary has recently joined our program and is doing great.  Thanks for the prayers!