Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me

Let me introduce you to my gods.  They help me feel better when I have a bad day.  They give me just what I need and they are very close and accessible.

This one's name is Acceptance.  I started worshiping him at a young age.  If I had better grades, ran faster, performed better, Acceptance was sure to be close by.  I hoped for Acceptance everywhere and in anyone that I felt I needed love from.  Most of the time, I felt I could only be loved and accepted by people if I had something skillful or interesting to offer.  I'd live for the "attaboy"s and the "wow you're smart"s.  Acceptance gave me affirmation that he was all I needed in order to feel complete.  Acceptance made sure to get my attention especially when I wasn't as good as others in certain things.  "Sssomeone is more athletic than you.  Become hisss friend and show off what you got," my god would sssay.  "Surely others will like you then."  "Your music sssounds okay, but imagine what others would think if you played faster, louder, and with more heart."  My god was always there at the right moment to push me to be better and better and better.

Ah, yes.  Hoops.  This god has shown both power and resilience in my life.  Ever since I can remember, Hoops has rocked my heart to sleep, cooed its lullaby when the world seemed chaotic.  Basketball annihilated enemies such as Boredom and Humility.  I could get creative and therefore show off my ability in front of others that weren't as good.  I could even cement thing feeling of power by keeping track of my statistics compared to others on my team.  Hoops has been there when I'm bored.  There's nothing like hearing the khhh of the net after making a shot, feeding my own pride.  It was amazing to find out later in life that both the gods Acceptance and Hoops were brothers and worked together in my life a bunch.  "You khhhould be great someday.  If Boredom ever tries to take you, I'll always be there and you khhhan ssstroke your ego...I mean build your confidence with every shot."  Hoops was always there at the right times to keep me from feeling worthless and bored.

Sometimes Hoops wouldn't be enough.  Sure, he offered power and a means to get closer to Acceptance, but specific sports teams offered an endless knowledge of facts that could also impress everyone, thus praise and love would come my way.  Probably the two biggest gods like this that I worship are called the Bucks and the Packers.  If I couldn't convince you that I actually was a follower, I might point to my shirt with their symbol on it, or my hat, or even my rip-off pants (yes even those).  Still not convinced?  Check this out.  Did you know that Brett Favre's first NFL pass was to himself?  I'm pretty smart, huh?  How about the fact that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was drafted by the Bucks because of a coin-flip?  Interesting, huh?  Did you see the game last night?  Our defense needs to pick it up.  No, I'm not part of the team, but my worship really gives the Bucks and the Packers the extra power they need.  I must know when the next game is and who they are facing.  When these gods succeed, my praise and sense of worth grows, thus growing their power, thus growing my praise and sense of worth, etc.  It's basically a great symbiotic relationship that we have.

I can't believe I haven't even introduced you to my favorite god, Music.  Please accept my apologies.  Music is so beautiful and powerful to me.  The way that different instruments blend their melodies and sounds to help me express just what I'm feeling.  If I need inspiration, Music is there for me.  Creativity?  Music is there again.  She is loved by so many people across the world and she has been for thousands of years.  Music is so flexible and interchangeable that there's really no one way to define her.  She's indescribable.  Sometimes I wonder if Music created me, since when I perform, something on my inside resonates and I feel like my soul is being strummed.  Music is on in the background of movies, in the grocery store, even in some fancy elevators.  She's everywhere!  Maybe I didn't even need to introduce you to Music because she is already worshipped by you.

I have so many more gods to tell you about, but because Time may be one of yours, I'll attempt to be brief.  The mighty Entertainment has many heads.  Although part of one body, each head has their own identity.  Internet, Movies, TV (an oldy but a goody).  Nowadays, with the combination of Money and Technology, you can get Entertainment however, whenever, forever.  Entertainment, like Hoops, also is great at defeating Boredom.  He helps me forget when I have a bad day at work, or if the things on my to-do list seem too giant and unconquerable, he gives me a break and fills my eyes.  If I don't like what my eyes are consuming, I don't need to keep watching.  I can change the channel, change the movie, or change the website.  There are literally millions of videos online to watch and probably trillions of views to legitimize his existence.



Growing up going to church, hearing the Ten Commandments often, I never thought that I was guilty of any of them.  I'm not a bad guy, right?  Getting older and more mature in my faith, I realized that the ones I thought I was innocent of, I was most guilty.  I've never committed murder, but "Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer" (1 John 3:15).  I waited until marriage to be with a woman, but "Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).  Despite all these new realizations of my inaccuracies, I still think that the first commandment has been overlooked and underestimated in my life, I am the LORD your God....you shall have no other gods before me (Exodus 20).  Gods?  I'm not like the Israelites who made a calf out of gold and started bowing to it.  I'm doing way better then those guys.

Recently, I've been going through Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller.  When asked questions such as "What things in your life do you feel give you significance and security or are ultimate things that give you safety and fulfillment?", "What can't you live without?", or "What is more important for you than God?", I didn't think that my answers would reveal things about my life that were replacing God.  When bored, I go to one of my above gods.  When I have a rough day, I'll, without thinking, go to something other than God.  Now, I may not talk about basketball, music, or the other things quite in the way I described them above, but remove the parts that call them a god, and you'll be pretty close to accurate.  My flesh is weak.  When I rely on my own strength, bad things happen.  I make myself out to be my god.  I praise this guy on the right and hope others will do the same.  It was difficult to discover just how much time and energy goes into my flesh and my gods.  I realized that I don't even daydream anymore.  It's like when I start to feel like daydreaming, I might as well just bring out my phone and allow youtube to suggest my daydreams for me.  It's kind of scary when you think about how technology can be like a virus to your mind, body, heart, and soul.

I want to be unashamed of the gospel, even in front of my Christian friends and family.  I can more easily talk about what the Packers are doing in my life than what God is, and that's not right.

-What things in your life do you feel give you significance and security or are ultimate things that give you safety and fulfillment?

-What can't you live without?

-What is more important for you than God?

Don't look away from your answers.  Face them.  Confess them to God.  He hears you.  He loves you.  He wants nothing more than for you to be near Him.

Here are two of our students, Dionte (left) and Jovan (right).  They are brothers in our After School Program.  Although this is their first year in the program, people at 2nd Mile Ministries have been familiar with them and their family because of their attendance at Summer Day Camp the past couple of years.  Dionte is in 5th grade and Jovan is in 3rd.  Jovan is very high-energy and would get into trouble often at camp, as well as the beginning of the school year.  However, when asked to change his behavior, he usually follows directions.  He's got a great throwing arm and might be the first kid in our program to actually like playing basketball.  He's very playful and sometimes gets too in other kids' faces.  I get to talk to Jovan often when he gets into trouble and he sincerely wants to make right choices, but sometimes he forgets to.  Dionte is difficult to describe.  He's low-energy, doesn't talk as much, is kind of shy, but he's brilliant at math.  Dionte and I have had a couple of difficult days as far as him not following directions, whining, complaining, even crying and crawling underneath tables.  Despite some of these new experiences I'm dealing with, I was encouraged after one of our devotional times when he showed me what he wrote.  We were talking about gratitude and the kids were asked to write a letter to a friend thanking them for something.  His said something like, "Dear Mr. Andrew, thank you for cheering me up when I'm upset."  Having no idea that I was cheering him up during my talks with him, I was encouraged by the fact that I don't always know the ways that God is going to work.  My trust HAS to transfer from these gods to the one and only God.  I must trust that God is going to work things out for the good of those who love him, even if I don't get to see what those things are.

Dionte and Jovan at the Family Fall Festival

Please take time to think about your life.  Whatever you plan on doing immediately after reading this blog could possibly be an idol in your life.  All the things I mentioned above (basketball, music, acceptance) are not bad things in themselves, but if I go to those things to meet my needs, I've crossed over into idolatry.

Maybe

"
Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer who lost a horse.  It ran away.  All the neighbors came around that evening and said, "That's too bad."

And he said, "Maybe."

The next day the horse came back and brought seven wild horses with it.  All the neighbors came around that evening and said, "That's great isn't it!

And he said, "Maybe."

The next day his son, who was attempting to tame one of these horses was riding it and was thrown and broke his leg.  All the neighbors came around that evening and said, "Well, that's too bad isn't it."

And the farmer said, "Maybe."

The next day the conscription officers came around looking for people for the army and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg.  All the neighbors came around that evening and they said, "Isn't that wonderful!"

And he said, "Maybe."

"

When I [Andrew] first heard this parable, I was struck by how much I see life on the surface just as the farmer's neighbors.  If God allows me to go through a terrible day at work, I'm quick to say, "That's too bad."  It's amazing how influenced I can be by outward circumstances.  If everything is going my way, I'm being productive, the kids are behaving, I'm feeling great and feel, "Man, things are awesome!"  I wonder how often God says, "Maybe," to our nearsightedness.  I know God intends to bless us and have us enjoy and be thankful for the things he has created and given us, but how often do we misinterpret his blessings?  Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways.  As the heavens are above the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

When I'm leading two:fiftytwo (our after school program), there are times when I give kids consequences for their behavior.  Over the years, as I'm sure parents do, I've been growing in knowing which of the kids' requests I say yes and no to, depending on what the long-term effects will be on me, them, and the program.  They may not understand why I give a certain answer, and I don't always feel like explaining myself for every little response I give them is necessary or helpful, but I know in some ways what will be best (or at least better) for them.  Is this not how God is with us?  Are we not like children in his eyes, having little to no clue what is around the corner for us?  So, you got a promotion.  Great!  Or will it feed your pride and make you look to your own self for provision and strength and not the Lord?  So, you got in a really bad car accident.  That's a bummer!  Or is God trying to get your attention by bringing you to utter reliance on him for life?

The truth is, I've been a little thrown off since hearing this parable.  I don't want to confuse you and say bad things are actually good and vice versa, but I would urge you to give thanks to God in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5) because you may have no idea if God is using manure to have you bear fruit.  Since there's a very good chance you don't have your bible with you as you read this and probably won't get it to look up these verses, let me give them to you right now.

Another parable.  Luke 13:6-9 says, "And he told this parable: 'A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none.  And he said to the vinedresser, 'Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none.  Cut it down.  Why should it use up the ground?  And he answered him, 'Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure.  Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.'"  Jesus, has interceded on our (the fig tree's) behalf when we should have been cut down and destroyed.

Challah and Missi at the Family Fall Festival
last year in 2013

There's a family in Brentwood that I've known for most of my time down here.  I've talked about them before in many previous blogs.  This family has been very special to me.  I've been around two of the kids in the family at the after school program.  Currently, Challah is in 5th grade and has been in the program since she was in 2nd grade.  She and her older brother Diallo were able to be a part of our wedding back in June.  Challah was the flower girl and Diallo, an usher.  What to say about Challah.  I have had so many fun experiences just being around her.  I can remember her attempting to read Dr. Seuss while she had duct tape over her mouth.  She and I played a vocabulary game called "Granny's Garden" and we asked questions in our old granny voices.  We were laughing so hard we cried.  Sometimes I get stern with her for no reason and she laughs since she knows I'm just playing around.  She is incredibly friendly and likes to play with the other kids, especially the younger girls.  She used to love playing teacher in 2nd and 3rd grade and this year has had the opportunity to help younger students when they have difficulty with their homework.  In a nutshell, she is a goofball and a ton of fun to be around.  She can get frustrated with her homework and sometimes will keep anyone from helping her or seeing her struggle.  I don't know how big of an impact I've had on this family's life in relation to eternity, but I can say that if I "up and moved" somewhere else, I'd probably miss them most in Jacksonville.  They have felt like family even though they have so many people pouring into their lives.  I feel very blessed and can say, "Isn't that wonderful," without worrying about God replying, "Maybe."

Challah helping with decorations for the Family Fall Festival
at the two:fiftytwo after school program

Please pray that Challah would do well enough in school to go on to middle school next year, that she'd learn more and more about her savior, and that her relationships at school, at home, at church, and in her neighborhood would grow.

Also, please pray for our Family Fall Festival tomorrow from 1-4pm.  This could potentially be the most people we've ever had attend.  Last year was close to a thousand people.  This year we're hoping for 1,200.  There will be hot dogs, giant pickles, boiled peanuts, candy, a trunk or treat, a bounce house, the Jacksonville Jaguars kicker, Josh Scobee will be in attendance signing autographs, and I'll be running the kickball and field games.  Pray that no matter how many people come or whatever weather there is that God would be glorified, and the people of Brentwood would feel loved through all the free and safe fun.

And, finally please pray for me.  I don't want to know God on the surface like I know an acquaintance.  No simple, "How's it going, God?" "Good, how is it with you?"  "Good."  I want to know God's heart for his people more intimately, his heart for those that are lost without him, dead fig trees without his digging and working around their roots.

God loves you, and there's no maybe about that.

No Quick Fixes

Every month, we on staff with 2nd Mile Ministries have a personal retreat day.  This is not an off day, but it is different from our normal responsibilities.  With so much going on at work, it is our intention to take a purposeful day to process how we are doing personally and how work has been going.  I often take these days to go on long walks, either on the beach, in a park, or on a frolf course.  These times of solitude have been great times to step back and pray and really enter into God's presence.  On my last retreat day, I answered the question, "Are there any roadblocks in ministry that you are facing?"  I chose to rather answer the question, "What is in your life life that has been wearing at your soul?"  My answer disappointed me.  My answer was technology.  In my down-time, my almost natural reaction is to pick up my phone or sit with the computer on my lap and just become a vegetable.  What's going on in the world's of the NBA, the NFL, the MLB?  What youtube video will satisfy my desires to laugh or be in awe?  What game on my phone will allow my brain to forget about the day's problems?

There's something satisfying in watching a time-lapse video of a plant growing.  Normally, we walk past trees, flowers, and grass and maybe we'll stop to smell the roses, but usually we proceed with whatever is on our schedule that day.  You might notice the sprout of a plant after a few days, but actually growth is hard to see.  Time-lapse videos help you see growth as if it were a moving living thing.  Reflecting every month is just a way to track growth or even places of no growth.

I fear for the next generation.  Delayed gratification is an unfamiliar term.  Why read a book when you can watch the movie?  Why waste time watching a 10-minute video when you could watch an entertaining Vine for six seconds?  Why meet someone for coffee and deep conversation when I could send a three-word-long text?

In the ministry world, I can have a similar hope to try and abbreviate or shortcut to get to the delicious fruit of ministry.  I hope for quick behavior changes when a kid acts out.  Can't there be a button I can push to make them smarter, more loving, more caring?  It takes time.  It takes even more time especially if those I'm ministering to are of a different culture, a different race, and/or different economical mindset or class.  

In keeping with my hope to introduce to you the kids of our program, I'd like you to meet Chassidy.  She is in 5th grade and is one of two students that have been in the after school program since the beginning.  She was only in 2nd grade at the time.  This is her first school year without her older sister Charity at school or in the program.  Without giving too many details about what exactly she has gone through in her life already, just know that there's a good chance that it's much more complicated and difficult than your childhood was.  I am amazed at how much she's grown the past few years despite having so many life changes thrown at her.

Chassidy in front of me in the red shirt back in spring 2012

While volunteering at North Shore Elementary three years ago, I used to occasionally help a 2nd grade teacher named Ms. Beam in her classroom.  Ms. Beam was Chassidy's 1st grade teacher the year previous and she would tell me that Chassidy would often get sent to the principal's office, have to take timeouts in other teachers' rooms, etc.  Her behavior was reflected in our after school program often.  When she was in 3rd grade, I remember a couple times where she couldn't handle any kind of correction or discipline and thought there was no other alternative but to scream, kick over chairs, scratch, bite, anything to get away or feel safe.  I'd never seen kids do the things she did.  Fourth grade comes along, the chair-kicking ended, the screaming too.  In fact, the problem in her 4th grade year was really just talking back and the occasional attitude.  Oh yes.  She is probably the most vocal child I've ever seen.  Also, the loudest when she wants to be.  Probably the most encouraging thing I've noticed over the past few years has been her focus, attention, and retention of Bible lessons and verses.  Her hand was always up when a review question was given during a Bible lesson.  Her understanding of the gospel has skyrocketed in even just the past year.  I've heard her show compassion to others in the program that were going through something tough at home that she has experienced already.  Last year, a girl was crying because her electricity had to be turned off.  Chassidy consoled her and looked at one of our staff saying, "It's her first time," meaning her first time with the electricity cut off.  Chassidy has experienced cut off water, electricity, times with little food, and yet can see that God has blessed her.  Amazing!  She helps younger kids with their homework.  She loves reading with the younger girls and help them grow.  She loves to sing worship songs with as much heart as she can, despite the skill of her voice.  You can see a desire for justice in her that she gets very upset when she feels she or someone else is being wronged.  She stands up for others and is very defensive of those that get picked on.

Chassidy's baptism

Recently she has moved around a lot, staying with friends, her dad, and even with some in our ministry over the summer.  All these adjustments can mess with a kid's sense of safety, protection, and comfort.  I'm happy to say she and her sister are in a stable situation now, able to see their dad whenever they want and not having to worry as much about lack of food, water, or electricity. 

A couple weeks ago, I had the privilege of watching Chassidy, among four other elementary and middle school students get baptized.  It was great to see her dad and sister in attendance as well as many in the church and ministry that have known and supported her for years.  No matter how slow it might seem, God does work to transform those that he would call his own.  It was a beautiful thing to witness.  It's hard to tell in the picture on the left (because of the shortness of the pastor), but Chassidy has grown so much.  We rarely do push-up competitions, but when we do, Chassidy is the only one (including the boys) that can do any with proper form.

Websites are bombarded with unwanted advertisements promising the next get-rich-quick scheme or a pill that transforms you from a hippo into the hulk.  The Lord of the Rings trilogy would've been terrible if Mordor was in Frodo's backyard rather than across the entire Middle Earth.  I'm not going to get any endurance by running one time every year.  There's something about work, about relationships that grinds us into who we will one day be.  Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpens iron, as one man sharpens another."

If you are a person who prays and doesn't just say you'll pray for someone, please hear these requests.  Please pray that Chassidy continues to grow as a leader, a Christ-follower, as a student, a friend, and a sister.  Please pray for me to get off my phone, get off the computer, and make Christ my pursuit when I have downtime.  Worldliness is a deadly distraction to our relationship with Christ.  I feel it is the devil's most deceitful way in getting us to think that we are comfortable, blessed, and more important than others.

TTYL

Anyone know when I'm supposed to spell out numbers?

For those of you who like numbers, here are a few from our After School Program over the years.  If you don't like numbers, skip this next paragraph because it will bore you.

This school year is the 4th year of our program!  It started back in the 2011-2012 school year.  Although 12 total kids were a part of the program that first year, the most kids we had on any given day was 10.  In the 2012-2013 school year, we had 11 kids, but two of them left the program, so a typical day meant about 9 kids.  The next year, 2013-2014, comes around and 15 kids at some point were in the program.  Due to kids signing up and leaving at various points of the school year, we maybe would have 10 or 11 at most on any given day.  This school year, although it's difficult to say if all the students that are signed up will be in the program the entire year, we have 17 kids signed up, and on most days they all show up!

Why is having 17 kids such a significant difference from last year?  Well, those of you who are teachers may have anywhere from 15 to 25 students in their classroom that you need to teach.  This year, we decided to open up registration to students that attend neither Brentwood nor North Shore Elementary.  The only requirement would be that they live within our ministry's target area, the Brentwood neighborhood.  Our 15-passenger van can seat 13 students, a driver (me), and a passenger.  This is the first year that all of the seats are full.  The remaining 4 students get dropped off at the program because of this new rule of being allowed to attend different schools.

I've been a volunteer of the program for two years, and this is my second year directing/co-directing.  With three years under my belt, this fourth year has thrown me a few curve balls.  First, both Brentwood and North Shore are in session for an extra hour this year due to test scores last year.  This means the after school program had to be designed to still carry out our mission to Live the truth of the gospel, Learn as scholars, and Lead their community forward, with an hour less of program time.  Second challenge, we have 17 kids!  Seven of them are in 2nd grade (the most we've ever had) and five of them are in 5th grade (the most we've ever had).  With a wide range of behaviors, grades, skill levels, leadership abilities, and knowledge, it can be difficult to expect similar things from everyone.  With each student being so unique, so much attention of them is required in order for them to thrive in every way, intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially (Luke 2:52).

My responsibilities during the program consist of running the schedule, transitioning the kids to the next parts of the program, and talking to the kids who have moved their clips down twice.  On some days, I can go home feeling disheartened about the result mainly because I've had to talk to three or four kids that have been displaying disrespect or attitude problems.  I often forget about the other twelve kids having a good day because I don't get to see them as much.

In my efforts to blog and update more often, it is my hope that at some point from now until June 2015 that I will talk about each of the 17 students in more depth, how you can pray for them, and also praise God for them.  Hopefully this will keep me accountable to continue writing.

To start, I'd like to introduce Ferrell to you.  In one word, awesome.  I knew Ferrell when he went by his first name Jai'Juan back in 2010 when I was an intern.  He was 5 at the time.  He's in fourth grade now and this Tuesday, he turns 10.  This is his third year in our program.  He is hilarious and friendly.  He's a big kid who loves science experiments, has a killer football throw, can sing on pitch and rap like nobody's business, and has an incredible imagination.  He once told me that in his science class, he taped a small cape on the back of an ant, flung it in the air with a spoon, and it landed in a puddle.  But don't worry, it landed on its back so it wouldn't drown.  Ok, so, he may try to convince you that one of his made-up stories actually happened, but he still is fun to talk to.  I got the opportunity to spend time with him today during our Action Day, where our ministry, as well as people from churches around Jacksonville help mow lawns, plant in a garden, pick up garbage, and be a loving presence in Brentwood.  I decided to invite Ferrell because I thought he'd enjoy being around a lot of new people helping out in ways he's never experienced before.  He was raking, bagging garbage, and cutting weeds and branches when he wasn't encouraging and humoring the other volunteers.  He loves making people happy and is great at it.  Please pray that as Ferrell continues to grow, that he'd see Jesus Christ as his savior and want to live to make Him happy and bring glory to Him.  Pray also that the things in his life that try to get a firm grip on his heart and pull him away from God would be unappealing to him and would be as slippery as the stairs that he raked leaves off of today.

I hope you have a blessed weekend.


More numbers!!!
-37 different students have been through the two:fiftytwo After School Program since 2011 (18 boys, 19 girls).
-24 of those 37 have had either a sibling, cousin, or relative in the program with them at some point (we intentionally try to build relationships with families).
-9 of the students have been in the program for more than one school year (Six for more than two years, two since the program's inception).

Ripples

Before you read this, I'd like for you to do an exercise for me.  Don't worry, I don't want you to exert any physical energy, but mental, yes.  Take about five minutes, turn off the noise, quiet your mind, forget everything on your to-do list, and cast your cares on Jesus and let Him handle them.  Now in those five minutes, picture somebody that you know.  Who is the first person to pop into your head?  Perhaps a significant other, a relative, maybe a friend.  It could be a neighbor, or a friend you haven't seen for years.  Depending on how old you are, the number of people who have entered your life, no matter how brief, is high.  Now that you have this picture of a person in your head, think about how you met them.  After picturing how you met, go through your entire relationship with them from start to finish.  If it's just an acquaintance, really prolong that encounter.  Where were you both?  What were you both doing?  If it's someone you've known your whole life, you may need to speed through memories.  What were your best memories with them?  How do you feel about them?  How is your relationship with them different now than it was when you first met them?  (Please take time to think about them)  (The rest of my blog will be here when you come back)
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Most of my daydreams are random, pointless, and on accident.  For me, taking intentional time just now to think about one thing was kind of refreshing.  If the person you pictured is someone you don't necessarily have the greatest relationship with, those last five minutes may have actually been painful for you.  Maybe you two once had a great closeness but now you are most comfortable in a world that pretends they don't exist.  Bringing bad memories back to life is hard.

I doubt anyone will take me up on this, but if you want to take the exercise a step further, go take a walk...in a cemetery.  Missi and I have been wanting to do this for a while since there's a cemetery within walking distance from our house.  We walked by thousands of tombstones.  It was quiet and it seemed like another world.  It didn't feel like we were in our neighborhood anymore.  New flowers, dead flowers, no flowers on every grave plot.  Some were covered in moss, some still bright white marble even after a hundred years.  Every stone had a name on it.  That name represented a person who once was living and breathing as you and I are right now.  April 14th, 1988 will be the first date on my gravestone.  I do not know what the last one will be.  But I do know that there will be a day that, like those thousands of once-people, I will no longer live.

Think of that person you just pictured.  What's their last name?  Not to be a downer on your day, but picture that name in all CAPS, carved into a stone.  They will die someday (or perhaps they've already died).  Whether or not your current relationship with them is rich or poor, how does Jesus feel about that person?  I'll help you out.  He loves them.  He loves them more selflessly and sacrificially than anyone could love.  They are precious to Him.  He does not want them to die and be lost to Him for eternity.  Eternity is so hard a concept to grasp.  Those gravestones we saw today, some date back to before the year 1900.  Over a hundred years.  But that cemetery, that land where the cemetery is, has been there for thousands of years earlier.  Those huge old trees weren't even born yet.  Reverse time-lapse.  The trees shrink.  Gravestones disappear.  People who are now buried there are up walking around in that same cemetery.  Construction of the cemetery seems to erase a function for that land.  Who knows if Florida even existed thousands of years ago?

That person is deeply loved by God and was thought of before He even said "Let there be light!"  He knows when they will die.  He knows how much time they have left.  But more importantly, you don't know!  Thought of calling someone recently to ask about their day but just haven't done it quite yet?  Do it.  You have no idea what that call will do for them.  Pray for someone.  It's impossible to deeply invest in lots and lots of people, but it's definitely doable to show someone you care, even in one moment.

I'd like to confess something.  Although I have little dancing ability, my love for the artistry through self-expression called dance is great.  So You Think You Can Dance is one of my favorite shows.  On its season finale this past Wednesday, I saw what might be one of my favorite group performances ever on the show.  I'll let you watch it first before I talk about it.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHGc7WbLK0o

"The smallest act of caring for another person is like a drop of water.  It will make ripples throughout the pond."

I've watched this video more than once and I gotta be honest.  I may have cried at one point, being touched by how the dancers and song communicated this idea of love, influence, and pouring out of yourself for others.

-A guy with headphones helps up a complete stranger after she fell.
-An in-love couple notice a struggling couple and they give the young man a flower to give to his girl.
-A homeless guy gets rejected by many when asking for spare change.  People walk away from him, but one man decides to show him attention and their synchronized dancing demonstrates just how similar the two of them are despite financial differences.
-The guy with dreads has passion flowing inside him and can't do anything but get it out through dance.  Others take notice and join in.  He looks back and sees what his passion has done to those around him.  He continues dancing, full of joy and intensity.
-A moment of love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs, most things we as humans will experience at some point in our lives.

Building cup towers for our Friday activity

How will you love those around you?  You are going to die.  Those around you are going to die.  We are fragile.  Little things can ruin our day.  Five pounds of weight can feel like fifty.  If the person you were thinking of earlier does not know the Lord, if you do not know God for yourself, I want you to know that He loves you, sent his son to take your place by dying on the cross.  We, in our pride, selfishness, lust, greed, deceit desire to be our own God, living for ourselves.  Accept His free gift of salvation and let him wash away all your sins.  He will forgive you, I promise.  He doesn't want your death to result in being separated from him forever.  My pastor always says, "If you're born once, you'll die twice.  If you're born twice, you'll die only once," meaning that when you accept Christ, you are reborn.  If you don't accept him, you will die (one) physically and (two) spiritually.  I'm sure the devil's best trick is to lull you into an I'll-do-it-later attitude when it comes to loving others.

As we are three weeks into the school year already, I hope to see the students, volunteers, and the families of the students as finite beings who need Christ, who need to see the love of Jesus.  Pray that Christ would shine through me as I hope to live this out every day.  I will soon share more about the kids, the program, how things are going in ministry, and how we (you and I) can co-labor in prayer to not only influence those in Brentwood, but also wherever you live.  I've been very blessed to be able to see some ripples in the kids that came from some very intentional drops of water.

School Year is Almost Here! (bet you can't guess my tone)

A little over a week ago, our five-week long summer day camp came to a close.  Kids anywhere from 5 to 12 years old came to dance, paint, play, sing, and ate.  I ran the sports station for the second summer in a row and I had a blast.  We jumped, we ran, we played kickball, basketball, football, and lastly, dodgeball!  We hoped to build relationships with kids and parents that have been involved with camp in previous years so we were excited to see many campers return to camp.  Although I wasn't at camp every day this year, I did grow in understanding of how love and relationships are crucial to development for everybody.

(If you are on facebook, you can check some camp pictures on the 2nd Mile Ministries page.)

https://www.facebook.com/2ndMileMinistries

In my experience at the after-school program, if you give a kid a book and ask them to read it and write about it and walk away, chances are it won't happen.  If you give a kid a book and ask them to read it and write about it but sit with them instead and ask them questions about it or relate it to life, chances are they will not only recall more of the book, but respect and trust is slowly built for future encounters.  Relationships are huge.  I read a quote somewhere that said, "Kids that are loved at home go to school to learn.  Kids that aren't loved at home go to school to be loved."  When I think of some of the kids that act out at the local elementary schools, I realize that this statement is very true for a lot of kids in our neighborhood.  I'm not saying that the parents of these kids don't love them, but perhaps a lack of time and energy to build relationships with their kids due to long hours at work and no one at home to care for and watch them causes kids to seek this need elsewhere.

In about a week, kids all over Florida will begin their school year with lots of expectations and pressures put on them to succeed.  It is our hope as an after-school program to enter into the lives of students and families in a positive way that not only hopes to help with the child's education, but in every way (spiritually, socially, physically, etc.).  The two:fiftytwo After School Program hopes to help each student to live the truth of the gospel, learn as scholars, and lead their community forward.  The best leaders for this neighborhood are living in it right now.  We hope to raise leaders that have God-given abilities and skills to lead the development of their own communities.  This will take a long time but I know that God is able to make this happen.

As of right now, there are 7 kids officially signed up for the program, with 9 more being pursued.  With potentially 16 kids in our program, this will be the most we've ever had, which could lead to more problems, but also more structure.  North Shore Elementary and Brentwood Elementary schools, where we draw kids from, both have extended hours this year due to their test scores last year.  This means that two:fiftytwo will have the kids for less time.  Please pray that as we plan what elements of the program to cut or lessen that we'd have God's interests in mind first.

Where last year I co-led the after school program, this year I'm the sole director.  I will have two people helping me every day which is a huge blessing.  Please pray for us to trust in God when situations are easy or difficult.  Please pray that our love and relationships with students and families grow into something beautiful and pleasing to the Lord.

In comparison to last year, I'm feeling more optimistic about the upcoming school year.  Even though the summer is almost gone, seeing the kids in the next grade up and learning new things is cool to me.  If you are a student or a teacher, you are in my prayers.

The Better Half - Part 2

If you haven't heard from me or others yet, I'm a married man.  I "jumped the broom" as some of the older folks in the neighborhood have told me.  On June 21st, 2014, I, Andrew Vollmer took Missi Schock to be my wife.  We met here in Jacksonville back in the summer of 2010 and started dating in August of 2011.  If you haven't met her yet, I hope you get to soon.

As I'm writing this blog, I am home by myself.  In our one month of marriage, the longest we've been apart has been just a few hours.  Right now, she is in Wisconsin visiting some of her family where I will be joining her on Wednesday.  If you're in Milwaukee, let me know.  With her not here, I realize more and more how amazing she is.  There's a clear emptiness without her.  I recall talking to her on the phone a few years ago, really just rambling about some unimportant story.  I apologized for what I thought was clearly a boring story but she told me, "I think everything you say is interesting."  She remembers more about what I say than what I remember I say.  She is so thoughtful and has put herself second in our relationship so often.  She can express her feelings and emotions with ease which makes her a very honest person.  I often have the same facial expressions when I'm happy, sad, or angry so it's refreshing to be with someone who can emote.  We share silly moments and serious moments.  She makes me feel like I'm a great leader even when I feel I'm not.  She is a great encouragement to me and I'm so blessed with grace from her when I mess things up.

I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with her.  I think I've cried more with her, laughed more with her, talked more with her than any other person.  She is my best friend.

I want to tell you about the day the whole marriage thing started.

First of all, there is nothing quite like having family and friends from different parts of your life come together to celebrate with you.  It makes my life seem more clear, like when you put on glasses for the first time.  To spare you from details about each and every person in attendance and how God used them in my life, I'll try to give you an overview of the wedding for those who could not attend.

It was beautiful!

The End





Just kidding.  Well, it was beautiful, but for so many more reasons than would meet the eye.  We got so many compliments about the venue, the view of the river, the koi fish and turtles out front, the classy-looking mansion inside. But what I'd like to share are the moments I will probably always remember.  I'll remember my groomsmen taking a selfie right before handing us the rings and all the fun we had at the beach earlier that day playing wiffle-ball with Missi's dad and her brothers and nephew.  I'll remember dance-battling with Challah and Diallo (sister and brother) who were our flower girl and usher, who have been a big part of my life since moving to Jacksonville.  I'll remember how full the dance floor was from start to finish.  I'll remember the faces of people that traveled far to see us for only a couple hours.  I'll remember my brother and father's speeches, about them being humbled by the work God was doing in me and respecting me.  I'll remember dancing with my mom.  For some reason, that was the closest I was to crying that day.  You are such an amazing woman, Mom.  Sorry we didn't do a tap dance routine.  I know you would've been down.  I'll remember being asked to dance by Missi's mom and sharing in some fun moments with Missis' side of the family.

You might be wondering, where is Missi in all these future memories?  Well.....here we go.  Missi and I chose to see each other before the ceremony because it took a lot of nerves away and we got many of the pictures done beforehand.  Some of you in attendance know about this, but when we did our "first-look" photos, the photographers gave us some space and I played a song on the guitar for Missi.  I first heard this song years before I met her, but during our engagement I really wanted to learn it and play it for her.  Some of you wanted to know what song it was so here's a link to it.  It's the only place I know it's recorded. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NMqDgtvM8E)  Worship leader and singer Evan Wickham wrote it for his wedding.

Not being a big fan of doing traditional wedding things for traditions sake, I wanted the wedding to be meaningful beyond the fact that we were making a life-time commitment to each other.  But how to display that better?  We decided to do a foot-washing at the ceremony to display our commitment to serving each other just as Jesus had washed his disciples' feet.

I'm excited to begin this journey with Missi.  The world is big and we're just two people.  Time is long and we'll be here for just a few decades.  Only gone for one day, she is already missed.  I pray that in the ways we are different, that we'd shape each other.  In the ways we are the same, we'd help each other grow.  We've already faced some things in marriage that many don't, and it's brought us closer to each other and closer to God.  Please pray we'd continue to serve each other, laugh, cry, and talk more and more.

Playing Catch Up

It's almost exactly halfway through summer vacation for teachers and students all across the country.  I'm not really a teacher, but I have felt the definite need for rest from the past school year.  By far, the 2013-2014 school year has been the most difficult time of ministry I've experienced.  There are many outward circumstances that have contributed to this, but I confess that my reactions (or lack thereof) to those circumstances have made situations harder to deal with.

Probably the worst subconscious decision that people make is when the going gets tough, striving to handle it with your own strength.  I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but when I have "control" or "power" or "authority", it can sometimes get to my head and make me think that I did something special.  I did that.  Coach Carter, acted by Samuel L. Jackson in the movie Coach Carter, upset with his team getting cocky after winning a couple games, decides to cheer for himself at practice after his team executed a play and scores.  "That's me baby! That's me! I did that! I drew that up! Yeah! Ha HA! Run it again."  He did this to prove a point.  Did the coach score those two points?  No.  One of his players tells him, "Coach, your shoe's untied."  After Coach ties his shoes he declares, "Whooo!  Look at that bow!  Look at that!  I tied that!"

Even if I correctly take life's circumstances, figure out the perfect way to handle it or fix it on my own strength, knowledge, and power, it would be crazy for me to get cocky and feel good about myself for something that God has enabled me to do.  God has every thing in his control.  As Psalm 93 begins, "The LORD reigns!"  He is in control of everything.

I realize that I haven't blogged since March.  Leading the after school program has taken a lot of energy out of me and has been a huge priority.  I've never led anything this big before and being unsure of how to handle specific situations has put me in a state of suspended weakness.  After a few meetings with my boss and explaining the difficult year and all that came with it, she had the audacity to pray graciously to God, thanking Him for putting me through such a hard year so that I could see things from my inner being come to the surface more.  I kind of see her point.  Had I not have had a rough year, there would be a lot that I wouldn't have realized about myself.  I can get easily embittered towards just about anything, I had tremendous pride, I like to have control, I have a hard time trusting anybody but myself, the list goes on.

However, I must declare that I identify with Christ because He took all these sins and buried them in the tomb and put them to death with Himself on the cross.  Gone.  The power of these sins are no longer powerful.  With Christ, I am made free from those things.  Galatians 5:1 says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves become enslaved by a yoke of slavery."

There was one day where a first grade boy refused to stay seated at snack time.  He wanted more apples right then and now even though he was told he'd get more soon.  He proceeded to sit under the table refusing to move.  After much screaming, biting, scratching, kicking, punching, he had to be removed.  How would you feel about your ability to handle that situation?  What's more frustrating is that when I've gone to the park with this kid, he was perfectly fine.  It's days like this that I wish I was in a position where I'm confident in my own self, my own abilities, and my own control.

Probably in another blog, when I've taken a good amount of time to process through the school year, I'll tell you more about the visible things God has been doing in my life and the kids' lives, but right now, I'd like to share some of my favorite pictures I took since August 2013.  Not all are of work or ministry necessarily, but all show a small glimpse of what life looked like for me this past year.

This is Ferrell.  Give a kid your phone and they will take some awesome pictures with it.  Challah and Ferrell were the only kids to get picked up from Brentwood Elementary for most of the year.  They were the only kids in the van for about 20 minutes before picking up the rest of the kids at North Shore Elementary.  They made the van ride less boring for sure.

Sunrise at Jacksonville beach.  Great way to spend a day off.  Only a few dog walkers and extreme runners up this early.

Ferrell and Challah helping pick up trash in the streets.  Every other week, we helped out in a nutritional garden in our neighborhood (planting, watering, weeding, raking, lifting, etc.) as well as pick up garbage.  Surprisingly, they looked forward to doing this each time.  These two were good sports about it.

Getting a new phone for me means pocket dialing people and hitting buttons accidentally.  When my new phone is shaken, it opens up the camera.  When I leave my phone in my pocket while playing basketball or kickball, it might take 50 photos before I realize it.  This pic was taken through my mesh shorts while I was defending Shavez, Challah's older brother in basketball.  I thought this was pretty awesome.

 

Our beautiful Jacksonville arboretum.

We learned about Japan one day and the co-director's father trained in karate while he was in college.  Awesome fun! HYAH!!!

On one of our field trips to the park, Mekhi insisted on climbing a tree and getting down by himself with no help.  I see a lot of similarities between Mekhi and myself.  No bragging here, but he is very smart, observant, and independent, but he also has a very hard time trusting people, especially adults.

Ernest on Valentine's Day got this huge stuffed bear and didn't know who to give it to.  Classic Ernest!  Big personality,  a big time player making big time plays in big time games.

Pure joy.  Challah's younger sister Quran is pulling my good friend Ernest in a little toy car thingy.  I'm not sure which of the two is having more fun.

Charity trying to imitate Ray Charles' picture.  Spot on!

At one point during the school year, there was a fire at North Shore Elementary School.  Luckily nobody was hurt and only damage to inside the ceilings and walls of one or two classrooms was done.  This meant that the whole school, during the "cold" part of the year, was evacuated to the nearby high school football field until dismissal.  The local news came and our program kids were all excited at the chance to possibly be on TV.  Mekhi, who the camera is pointing to, answered the man's questions so willingly and eloquently for a third grader.  I also thought that this picture showed how sweet it was for Michaella (in white T-shirt) to offer her leopard-print jacket to her chilly younger brother.

Rick's Cafe in Negril, Jamaica.  Workers at the restaurant would jump in water from 85 ft in the air for $20.  I jumped from only like 35 ft and it was terrifying.  I was in Jamaica for a buddy's wedding.  It was definitely an experience.

Hopefully, this attempt to get you caught up on my life was sufficient.  Probably the biggest news of my life so far I obviously have yet to tell you.  I gots marriaged!!!  June 21st, I married Missi Schock.  This will be a blog in the future.

Opening the Blinds

Awesome homemade basketball hoop

My sphere of influence in Brentwood is a small percentage of who is actually here.  I get the opportunity to spend most of my days with about ten kids from the community, some of which I feel are more and more a part of my family.  I volunteer at North Shore Elementary school and help out whichever teachers need help.  This ends up being around ten total faculty members at various times throughout the year.  If I’m in a classroom, I may help one or two kids with their reading.  If I'm walking the hallways, I may see a handful of kids wave to me, since they're supposed to walk silently.  The less fearful of their teachers will say, “Hey, Mr. Andrew!”  I'll wave back and put my pointer finger over my mouth.  At the basketball court, I might shoot around with the only other guy there, or, if I'm lucky, there will be a bunch of people playing, others calling “Next”, and others just watching.  Walking to the park, I’ll see an older gentleman sitting on the porch next door who shares a wave with me and an “Alright now,” which I've learned means, “Hello.  How’s it going? I’m great. Have a great day,” all in two words.  If I walk by others who are outside, “How y'all doin?” is the polite response.  Not once has the greeting been poorly or confusedly received.  Add up all the little encounters with people I've had who live and work in Brentwood and how many do you get?  Ten+10+1.5+a handful of kids+a bunch of people+an older gentleman+whoever else=only God knows.  Sorry I couldn't give an exact number but the total number is only a fraction of who is actually here.

Former 2nd Mile summer intern, Blake
came to help out on his Spring Break

The past two weeks, two groups of people, one from the University of South Carolina and the other from Blackhawk Church in Madison, WI chose to give up their Spring Breaks in order to help serve 2^nd Mile Ministries and the Brentwood community.  Over 45 college students encountered not only the darkness and brokenness that weighs heavily on the people here, but also the joy, the beauty, and the passion of the people.  Fear turned to love.  I could write an entire blog about the many tasks that we've all achieved the past two weeks, but the journey is so much more interesting.

One of the best experiences I've had in the past three years here happened this past Tuesday when three others and I passed out flyers door to door for our Summer Day Camp coming up.  There’s something about not only walking down streets that you've never had to walk or drive down before, but intentionally going up to every door and knocking.  When I walk to the court, it’s easy to ignore all the houses and the people in them when I'm focused on the excitement of playing.  But when my brain told my feet to direct my body towards each house, it reminded me of when I clean my room after a while of letting things pile up in the corners.  It reminded me of the first time I dived into a pool.  Once you go for it, you gotta go for it.  “Who is it!”  “I’m with 2^nd Mile Ministries and we're running a free summer day camp at the yellow church by the library.  Do you have any kids between the ages of five and twelve?”  At this point, many open the door and the most beautiful thing happens.  Many unlock their deadbolts, open the doors, and peak their beautiful faces out into the sunlight.  Our eyes meet and I'm wondering, What’s their story?  How beautiful, unique, and powerful is my God?  Conversations would start about families, how long they've lived in the neighborhood, where we were from, or about church.

Ferrell and Mekhi from our after school program helping the Spring Break
teams with some hammering

There was mostly encouragement or excitement, “Keep doin whatcha doin,” or, “You can take my kids right now,” with a chuckle.  Many of the people, regardless of whether or not they had kids, understood the importance of having a positive place for kids to go and even freeing up parents from having the stresses of watching their kids all summer.  A couple houses could've cared less about the camp and just wanted to get to know us.  Probably my favorite encounter was when we approached a house that was booming with music, not just any music, but some real old school Motown.  At the door we were met by a woman perhaps in her fifties.  “Love the music!” I told her.  “Thank you, my brother and I are singers.  Come on in, check this out.”  Curious and with a feeling of safety, we stepped inside to the loud house with loud speakers, CD’s everywhere, a small terrier sitting on a sleeping bag, and in the corner was a large box about shoulder-high, looked like some recording equipment from decades ago, and a microphone.  She grabbed the mic and began singing a soulful tune.  Dexter, her brother came out and showed me some CD’s he was selling, I think of himself singing, but could've possibly been burned of other bands.  I wasn't about to ask.  I had told them that I was getting married.  “We sing at weddings!  Here’s our number, give us a call!”  Dexter had an index card ready with his contact info written on it.  This brother and sister duo was full of life and a ton of fun.  I intend to go back a purchase the CD that had “Jazz” written on it which Dexter said was “one bad CD” meaning it was good.  Confusing, I know.  My knowledge of who and what was in Brentwood was getting clearer little by little.  I had no idea how little I knew about this place.

Although that was probably my favorite encounter while flyering Tuesday, no experience I’ve ever had with a neighbor compares with meeting Ken.  I don't even know where to start.  I walked up to a porch where I heard kids playing inside so I was getting ready for an excited parent to hear about camp.  The door opened, at least five kids in plain sight, then a man walked out and listened to our spiel.  Another man came out onto the porch, concerned, perhaps even in a protective manner.  He was asking very specific questions.  “This ain't one of those Harry Potter camps is it?”  I hope you'd be clueless on how to respond because I was.  I could only come up with, “Huh?”  He went on, “You know there’s all kinds of witchcraft and evil out there that even Christians are entertained by.”  However crazy I might have thought this man was initially, his boldness, his willingness to talk, and his knowledge of so many topics kept me on his porch just listening.  After about 45 minutes of passionate talk from this very loving father about the crisis of fatherlessness in the ghetto, God’s desire for his children not to be hypnotized by Satan’s device of worldliness, how racism is perpetuated by common ignorance, and so many other subjects that I know are close to God’s heart, I was hanging on to every word.  This writer, spoken word artist, and rapper in his upper thirties or young forties quoted two full pages from his book called “Fear”.  He also spit a few verses from one of his rap songs.  I wish I could remember more of the content but I can tell you that God has blessed this man with words and powerful use of language.  I have so much respect and admiration for this man who has turned to Christ, is concerned for the young fatherless boys in the hood, and is so devoted to his children, one of which knows three languages and is applying to Harvard soon.  Ken spoke to us with great intensity, close proximity, and beautiful eloquence.  I proudly shook his hand and told him that if he ever sees me walking to the court he should say hey.  His demeanor changed from intense to playful, “You sayin you got some game?”  I'm excited to know that in his seemingly busy schedule he still goes to play basketball and I can’t wait for the opportunity to knock on his door and challenge him.  This guy needs to be the leader of this neighborhood I thought.

Please pray these encounters would not just be quick on and off of a light switch.  Pray that God would take away any fear I have of immersing myself in the lives of people in this community.  Pray for wisdom in difficult situations and for most of all, the gospel to shine through whatever mess I make of it.  I've been really encouraged by the Lord this week.  I'll pray you'd desire more and more of who God is.

It Takes Family

I've gotta be honest.  Coming back to Jacksonville after Christmas was hard.  Leaving the snow, the cold, but most importantly, the closeness of family and friends.  I realize that my only bridge between Jacksonville and my family that I have right now is Missi, my soon-to-be-wife.  Only a little over four months to go!  She has been a huge support to me when I'm having a hard day or need time to process things I'm going through.  I can't wait to see multiple worlds collide on that beautiful day where we officially become husband and wife.  I came back to Jacksonville Dec. 27th and when I was meditating on the great time I had with family, I began crying.  What?  Why am I crying about this? I wondered.  I don't cry like this.  I realize that I'm not going to get to see my baby niece learn how to crawl or take her first few steps.  She will grow up with an uncle who comes to visit once in a while, not enough to build a relationship.  It hurts to think about that.  I won't see my sister as she grows in her faith.  I want to see my brother becoming a better and better father.  As time goes on, our family, once in my eyes as a big tree trunk, has grown tall and we each have our own branch.  We are still part of the same tree, but growing apart.  As we have our own families, more and more branches begin.

It seems each time I go back to Wisconsin, I lose a little bit of what I once remembered.  Not seeing the transition of changes makes it hard to understand or feel comfortable, feel at home.  Things as simple as a new kitchen table can make me feel strangely out of place.  The strange thing actually is that whenever I'm in a transition period, I never realize it.  I take those moments for granted often.  Knowing this, I really pray that this blog post blesses you in that in just the past couple of months, I've either been directly involved or an onlooker of so much transition and growth among the people God has put in my life here.  My recent absence from the blog world is not a result of nothing important happening, but the result of too much going on to even comprehend or communicate.

A few snippets from the past two months.

[Action Day includes taking to the streets and mowing lawns, picking up trash, weeding, basically making the forgotten sidewalks and empty lots clean once again, at least for a time.  Some of the middle school students that attend "Connect", the middle school program, came out to volunteer their time and put their hands to the shovels.  Diallo, who I talk about a lot, is growing into a great servant leader.  He has a general understand of right from wrong and is very teachable.  That trait I feel is important in becoming a leader.  Proverbs 12:15, "the wise listen to advice."  Growing up with nieces and nephews my whole life, it's been easier to relate with lots of different ages of kids as if family.  I don't ever feel like a father to these kids, nor should I, but loving them is easier if I imagine them as family.  I hope Diallo is able to be an usher at our wedding.  God is building into him character.]

[Every other Wednesday, the schools in Duval County have an early release from school so teachers have some time to plan, and in my opinion, just breathe.  What this means for an after school program is an extra hour of planning.  Luckily, our ministry has had a long-lasting relationship with Ron Pauline from the community who runs a nutritional garden to educate the community about health and nature.  He has graciously taken on our little rascals for this extra hour as we plant seeds, pull weeds, water plants, and pick up garbage off the streets nearby.  This old soul with a story ready at his fingertips all the time often talks about the importance of hard work, communities raising children (not just the parents), and respecting other people.  The kids have fun but have short attention spans and would rather throw rotten vegetables around, but it's a process.]

[Leon, our only second grader in the program, has struggled all year with reading and writing.  We've even made intentional efforts to have individual adults work with him but his inconsistent attendance has made this difficult.  I worked hard with him one day just to get him to write 15 of his weekly spelling words into sentences.  It was a challenge and he usually has a great attitude but he isn't as quick.  He fixes his handwriting with a smile, "Whoops, forgot I need a capital 'I'."  There have been rumors that he was moving to a difficult school a few weeks ago but he hasn't gone yet.  I have the privilege of coming to his classroom at his school.  Weeks later after helping him, I was grading his spelling test last week, on a test that I know he didn't get too much help from us, and he got 14 out of 15!  AND, his handwriting wasn't all that bad (for him).]

[I got to be there for the first time Emery, a middle schooler, ever played basketball.  It was fun to play two-on-two against Diallo and his older brother.  There were things I got to teach Emery about the game that I never thought about before.  "Emery, you gotta catch the pass first before you try to dribble it out of the air.  Good, now make sure you see where I am before you pass it to me."  It was fun.]

All of these positive experiences have grown these kids and even myself in some way.  They encourage me to be a good role-model and follower of Christ so they can see that my strength doesn't come from myself.  I think God grows us in two ways--in those positive, heart-warming, fun hangout times, but also in the painful, scared, alone, and weak moments.  There are four girls in our after school program that have interconnected lives due to some pretty crumby life experiences, and they're all not even 12 years old yet.

I actually wrote out a long version of the story with details and it got too crazy and confusing that I just deleted it.  Basically, imagine that your mom tried to kill you and your sibling at a young age, she's out of the picture now.  Your dad can't provide for you financially so you have no electricity or much food.  Luckily, the mom of a friend you met at an after school program, out of her huge heart, has taken you and your sibling in.  You now have food, electricity, a mother figure, and you live with a friend.  After a few months of not living with your dad, you miss not seeing him as often as you used to and on top of that, this new "mom" is tired of you wetting the bed and breaking things and fighting with your sibling (which you were used to doing at the old house).  She gives you both back to your dad who now has a drug debt and still no electricity or food.  He gives you over to some people he knows that also have kids that go to the same school.  After being turned over to them, it turns out there's no room for your sibling so they get kicked out and have to find another place to live.  The mom who took you both in the first place realizes that your situation now is worse and decides to try again to bring them both back.  But the problem is, you want to stay because your new friend will be alone now.  To cut to the chase, both girls are back with the first "mom" and we signed up the new friend as well so that those friendships and a positive relationship can be sustained.

If you didn't follow that, I understand.  I don't know exactly who is reading this right now, but if you're like me, you've had it so easy.  I never had to think twice about whether or not I'd have food or electricity or love from family, I just had it.  I can't imagine what some of the kids in this neighborhood experience.  I'm in no place to say, "Everything will turn out fine."

When I came to Jacksonville, the verse that God gave me to help sever my geographical attachment to my biological family was "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." (Matthew 19:29)

The people of Brentwood.  They are not replacements for my real family, but I do love these people as family.  Please pray for our ministry when you think of us.  Please pray for those girls who are still transitioning to living with each other again, and pray especially for the mom who has taken on a big burden of adding kids to her life, not to mention one on the way.