You say tomato

This past week, I've been noticing that my thoughts have been enveloped with social classes and how being brought up in a particular one affects your views towards another.  For the internship, I'm currently reading A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby K. Payne which takes a close look at poverty but also looks at the world through a "lower-class" lens.  The first chapter blew my mind.  It explained the different types of resources needed to help one survive.  In my naivety, I used to think that what keeps a person or a family poor is basically just a lack of money or availability of necessities (car, employment, etc.) but Payne gives a larger list of necessities unseen like emotional resources, mental resources (ability/capacity to figure out how to complete tasks, usually requiring some level of education), support groups (family/friends/neighbors you can go to for help), spiritual resources, etc.  If I had the book in front of me at this moment, I could tell you the precise definitions of each group.  This will just be an exercise of how well I paid attention to the chapter.

In the first chapter, there were seven scenarios of different people in poverty explaining ethnicity, age, educational background, family or friends nearby, weekly wage, expenses needed to be paid, situational expenses (jail bail, hospital, school supplies, other stuff).  Reading each scenario, I was just waiting for something good to happen in these typical poverty stories.  Growing up in the suburbs and understanding "middle-class" rules of society, I always just assumed everyone not in a "middle-class" upbringing have the wrong view of life and should change to fit my idea of how life should be lived.  After each scenario, an chart is there for the reading to fill out what types of resources that particular family has.  Do they have knowledge of hidden middle-class rules, do they go to church or have friends in close contact that do?  Do they know how to read?  Later in the book, there are three different charts for lower/middle/upper classes and how they view different things.  I'll try to give you an idea of what I mean.  Food: You need it to survive.  Lower-class: Quantity, how much did you eat?  Middle-class: Quality, did it taste good?  Upper-class: what is presented well?  Possessions: things that are valued in every-day life.  Lower-class: People, who do you know that can get you what you need?  Middle-class: Things from self-sufficiency, what can you get based on what you make?  Upper-class: Connections, how can networking improve my reputation or my company's?  Hopefully that makes a little more sense.  Those are the ones that I can remember the best.

At the very end of chapter one of the book, Payne stated that in general, most people living in poverty don't believe that they are living in poverty.  Yeah, life is tough, but you figure out how to live.  Also, in general, people in upper-class don't believe they are the wealthiest people in society, stating that they know someone richer.  Reading this, I thought that people need to get out of their comfort zone and see that there are people not like you in the world.  Being at CCDA a couple weeks ago was awesome.  People were from so many different backgrounds, in the same room, praising the same God.  Our 2nd Mile director commented on how she loves worship at that conference because it's a small glimpse of what she imagines heaven will be like.  I cannot go into a poor neighborhood like Pearl World with my middle-class way of life and try to change everyone's "lower-class" way of life as if mine is better.  It's just more comfortable for me.  My favorite speaker from the CCDA conference was Richard Twiss, a Native American speaking about how America often overlooks the fact that over the last 400 years, the number of Native Americans dropped from 20 million to 232 thousand.  He gave a history lesson on all the oppression and genocide against Native Americans because their way of life seemed to be "demonic" or "savage".  Europeans, comfortable with their way of life, even their type of Christianity, came over to enforce their comfortable ways on others that were different from them.  Long story short, the way we live may seem normal to us, but those learned behaviors where you are comfortable will not work when transplanted into a different type of community or culture.  If I am to reach the lost in Jacksonville, I have to first understand that I am different, not better.  I must come with a willingness to learn, not teach.  In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Paul says, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.  To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews.  To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.  To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from god's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law.  To the weak I became weak, to win the weak.  I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.  I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings."  Paul didn't want to make a bunch of little Pauls, rather, he wanted to make a bunch of Christs where these people were at.

Rayshantia (ray-SHAHN-tee) is in second grade and she needs the most academic help.  The first day she was at two:fifty-two, she quickly read a book perfectly and I was so impressed.  Unfortunately, she had memorized the book and needs help for sure.  Math, reading, you name it.  She knows letter sounds and recognizes very basic words, but has trouble sounding out words she doesn't know.  She guesses at math until she happens to get the right answer.  However, she is very quick (athletically) and sometimes beats the boys at Jump the Creak (distance jumping game).  If she makes it to high school, she could dominate the track and field events for sure, if she makes it to high school.  Keep her in your prayers.  I feel that collectively she gets the least attention too because she's usually well-behaved and doesn't draw much attention to herself anyway.  Help us see her as Christ sees her.  Thanks for reading.  This is a busy week for us, getting ready for a family fall festival.  Pray that all the supplies and volunteers show up to make it work.  Love you all.

(Rayshantia playing kickball)

Steering a Parked Car

My brain hurts.  I feel like I've learned more in the last five days than in any particular year of my life.  Last Wednesday, I got to go to a conference that CCDA (Christian Community Development Association) put on in Indianapolis for people from churches and ministries all over the country.  Completely overwhelmed by all the different kinds of people, I knew it would be a week to remember.  Just a quick explanation of the conference.  Mornings and nights would consist of worship and listening to a plenary speaker who would talk about an aspect of developing Christians spiritually as well as equipping them to carry out different ideas for developing certain poor or oppressed communities in the U.S.  I am now realizing how incapable I am in explaining all I learned there.  Hearing people from many different backgrounds speak of their lives makes me think of how God so uniquely made all of us.  Everyone there had one thing in common though, a desire to love God and love your neighbor.  Going to this conference, I felt like Willy Wonka standing by that tiny door about to go into the main part of his chocolate factory (Gene Wilder version) and when it opens, the people become tiny compared to the door, entering a world unanticipated.  I came with my basket empty, not sure if I would be able to find enough to fill it.  Turns out, I'm standing in an orchard the size of Washington, not sure how to fill my basket with this unexpected overabundance of knowledge, experience, and wisdom.  I jumped in a river with a strong current unknowingly, and it has pulled me away to a different place of thought.  I'm still processing a lot of stuff but I will try to clearly convey as much as possible.

I wanted to hear God's voice this past week.  I wanted to be patient, but in my waiting, I forgot what I was waiting for.  There were a lot of booths with people's ministries and information on what exactly they do.  A sea of information exchange, accomplishment-sharing, advice-giving, and all I could do was absorb all I could, just swim in it.  A few times, Psalm 46:10 came up in sessions about hearing the voice of God.  First I have to be willing to hear it.  A.W. Tozer in The Pursuit of God speaks on God's voice saying, "The voice of God is the most powerful force in nature," and "we have trained our ears not to hear."  When obeying God's voice lays myself on the line, I don't naturally desire to change what I've grown used to.  Many occurences in our life are explained away as scientific or just logical.  This paragraph of Tozer's is beautiful to me.

When God spoke out of heaven to our Lord, self-centered men who heard it explained it by natural causes, saying, "It thundered."  This habit of explaining the Voice by appeals to natural law is at the very root of modern science.  In the living, breathing cosmos there is a mysterious Something, too wonderful, too awful for any mind to understand.  The believing man does not claim to understand.  He falls to his knees and whispers, "God."  The man of earth kneels also, but not to worship.  He kneels to examine, to search, to find the cause and the how of things.  Just now we happen to be living in a secular age.  Our thought habits are those of the scientist, not those of the worshiper.  We are more likely to explain than to adore.  "It thundered," we exclaim, and go our earthly way.  But still the Voice sounds and searches.  The order and life of the world depend upon that Voice, but men are mostly too busy or too stubborn to give attention.


Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God."  Quiet times are supposed to be just that....quiet times.  Shut up and listen to the voice of God.  There is nothing I can tell God or ask God that He doesn't know already.  If my relationship with God is to be a relationship, I have to be willing to let Him speak too, for His way is better than mine, and He cares a lot more than I do about myself.  But is listening and hearing the voice of God enough?  I think reacting, changing, and obeying that voice is key.  Many times, I want to be 100% sure I heard the voice of God before I do anything obedient to the Spirit.  I don't move.  With a ton of information gathered in my brain of knowledge, wisdom, and experience, I try to steer my thoughts, find truth in them.  Those "ideas" have little to no meaning unless I'm moving, even slowly.  I think it's very important to follow God in the little things so that He can entrust bigger things to you.  Luke 16:10 says, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."  Please pray that I would be living for Christ with more than just my thoughts and words.  I wish to join other swimmers, others with their cars driving in a direction, going somewhere.


As promised last time, here is another kiddo.  Alex is going to turn nine on Wednesday.  He lives across the street from where I live so sometimes after a long stressful day at the program, seeing one of the kids at home is not the most desired situation.  Alex is super smart, super impressionable, and super relational.  Good news: This could mean he would be easy to disciple, easy to teach, and easy to multiply himself amongst others.  Bad news:  This could also mean that he will be crafty in doing bad things, he copies bad behavior, and he could potentially bring others to his bad behavior.  Some days he is the best behaved, some days he is running away from the program and running his mouth with "He said what?!?" words.  He talks to us like an adult, has a ton of pride in him, will cheat in order to win, will do good in order to gain a reward.  I'm probably toughest on Alex because I see so much potential in him.  We play basketball sometimes.  He's like a little brother that is crazy but listens to what you have to say.  He came to two:fifty-two one day so excited to show me that he read two chapters in Psalms.  That gives me hope and joy.  He hides pain well.  He is better at lying than anyone I know and that scares me.  He desires to fit it, at the cost of any sense of right and wrong.  Pray for him.  Pray for his family who experiences a lot more than I'm used to.  I won't give details but it rough.  Alex is always amped up on life, always happy and excited (not always about the right things).


I guess I didn't really explain much about CCDA.  My mouth is full of water.  Let me swallow before I speak as to not lose any.  If I am to encourage you in any way, let me say this.  You are never too rich, poor, ugly, beautiful, old, young, white, black, left, right to not start following his voice.  Abraham was asked to demonstrate his faith by killing his son that he was given close to 100 years old.  He could've died and lived a greatly dedicated life to God.  He wasn't too old to call.  Love you all.  Put the car in neutral at least.

Acting like a child

Week 4 of the "two:fifty-two" after-school program is complete.  For the past four weeks, the kids have been working on addition/subtraction/multiplication, they've built water filters and volcanoes, they've read for about six total hours each, have memorized four memory verses (most of them), and played their hearts out during rec time.  As far as behavior goes, I would say they all know what we expect from them and a couple of them, I think, have noticeably had better behavior.  But the journey is long and all I can do trust that God will slowly but surely change their hearts for eternity.  During Bible time and throughout the weeks, the gospel is being repeated to them over and over.  They seem to know the right answers to our questions, but that's all it is to them right now, an answer to a question.  I don't think there is much self-reflection and heart dissection going on right now with them, but keep them in your prayers.

On the opposite side of things, us volunteers have tried to think of ways to help the kids with their addition/subtraction/multiplication (none of us have education backgrounds), we've gathered/bought supplies and cooked clay for them to do science experiments, we've sat with many of them during reading time trying to figure out the best way to help each kid read, we've disciplined, we've planned for hours, and played our hearts out during rec time!  Spending so much time with the kids, we are starting to see their strengths and weaknesses, their personalities and conniving tricks, what brings them joy and what brings them pain.  Nowhere near God's level of understanding, I've found it interesting that how the kids behave is very similar to how I behave in my relationship with Christ.

Let me explain.  We have a clip chart based on behavior, not performance.  Everyone starts every day in the center on "Ready To Learn" and can move up the chart to "Good Day" to "Great Job" to "Outstanding" or they can move down to "Think About It" to "Teacher's Choice" to "Parent Contact".  This is based on behavior.  About week 2, they quickly were trying to figure out what they needed to do in order to get moved up, or to "get blessed", if you will.  "Mr. Andrew, can I move my clip up for doing my homework?"  That sort of thing happens a lot.  Our quickly improvised rule, no one moves up when asked.  I thought about how sometimes I think being blessed is the result of some equation of good behavior or the result of trying to read my Bible more or praying harder.  In the words of A.W. Tozer in The Pursuit of God, "God's gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution."  Since when have God's blessings been more life-giving to me than the giver of life?  So two:fifty-two continued.  This past week, I recognized in what situations I will tell kids to "clip-up" or "clip-down".  When a kid does something good (worthy of a clip-up), then races over to clip-up and announces, rather, brags about their achievement, I wonder about their motives for good behavior and whether or not I should reward someone for arrogance.  When a kid does something good with no selfish ambition, I feel they deserve a clip-up more.  The kids are not in control of the "clip-ups", we are.  I am not in control of my blessings, God is.  I hope the kids realize that the "clip-ups" are nothing in comparison to the growth that will go on in their hearts.  The blessings are nothing in comparison to the God who gave.

I have a question for you, whoever may be reading this.  This question was asked me from a former roommate of mine.  Which of the following would you choose?  Being in heaven for eternity with angels, joy, singing, dancing, elation, jubilee, warmth, millions of people, everything you might think heaven will be, but with no Jesus.  OR, being in a cold, damp, dark cave, with no singing or dancing or cheesecake or flying or people or flying people; just you and Jesus.  How could I not choose the second?  If I am a child of God, adopted into His family, who cares what I get from Him?  I have him!

Peep this.  I am unashamed to say that I watched the following youtube clip about 5 times today.  Yes, it's cute but pay attention to where this girl's heart is.  Yes, she loves Disney stuff.  Yes, she loves princesses and pink and getting things for her birthday.  But her love is concentrated on her loving parents for the thought of taking her to Disney world for her birthday.  Her tears, I believe, are a beautiful thank you to her parents.  I'm sure Disney world would mean nothing to her without having her parents.  Take notes from this child.  Imagine how God must feel when we cry and embrace Him for His love and compassion on us, for knowing our desires so deeply.  Kind of like the little girl said, I sometimes feel like God, "How did you know I wanted this?"  Joy in God and God alone should be enough for us to seek him every day, not for blessings, not for recognition from others, but for a deeper intimacy with He who created us.

For this week, I ask that you continue to pray for Challah and Diallo.  I will introduce another kid next week hopefully.  New things I learned about Challah : For only being in second grade and a girl (sorry), she is amazing at baseball and is quick.  She talks to us like she is an adult which is adorable.  She could care less about putting on a "good behavior" show to brag but she is actually pretty well-behaved.  New things I learned about Diallo: he is like me when I was in school.  I wanted to get done with homework as fast as I could, which meant not reading those boring directions all the time.  When showed a few completely worked out double-digit multiplication problems, he picked it up fast, as opposed to when I tried to walk him through step by step.  He, like me, needs to be shown how to do something completely, then he can do it forever by himself.

Please pray for:
-A decision on who, if anybody, to bring to two:fifty-two now that Keyshawn and Jeffery moved away.
-God to reveal more of himself to us who are going to Indianapolis next week for the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA).  I will be there next week from Wednesday to Sunday.  Also pray for safe travels.
-Brothers Bodai (BOO-day) and Amp, and their cousin Booby (yep) to come to know of the saving grace of Jesus Christ.  I see them a lot at the Green House and at the basketball courts.  They have been blessed with athletic gifts, especially Bodai and Amp.

May God's grace encourage you to seek Him and no one else.

Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOpOhlGiRTM&feature=player_embedded

"A picture is worth...

a thousand words."  A phrase used to explain that something that takes a long explanation can easily be depicted in a picture.  In a time before we had digital cameras, cameras on our phones, on our computers, a photo was something special.  Then, with limited film and money for film, less "funny-face" pictures were taken I'm sure.  A picture was saved for a special moment, a beautiful scenery, or family portrait.  Now, a plethora of snapshots, instant reminiscence, "Oooh, now get another one of me, except this time eating a fry."  However, a picture of Brentwood leaves me at a loss for words.  Daytime still, nighttime thrill.  Plastic bag blowing down the street like a tumbleweed, many just sitting on their porches just enjoying the day.  A picture of the streets with no one in them, however run down they may seem, still have a beauty to them.

My first internship, we watched a slideshow of the Summer Day Camp with kids having fun, smiling, laughing.  I can't really explain the way my heart felt with each new picture that was projected on the wall, but I can try.  Each picture pounded me into a deeper part of my heart.  Whether I wanted it to happen or not, the Holy Spirit brought me to one of the most powerful moments of my life.  I was quickly being brought to tears.  Each face a person, created in God's image, with lives, souls, needing love, needing Jesus, living life hopefully effected forevermore by that summer, then dying a death, and facing a judge.  I am a person, created in God's image, with a life, a soul, needing love, needing Jesus, will die a death, will face a judge.  These kids are like me.  I had to leave the auditorium and find the corner of a hallway to weep in.  God was with me in that corner, holding me, giving me a snapshot of His undying love for me, His deep......you will not guess what just happened even now.  While I was thinking of a word to go after "deep", for some reason the word "unction" came to my mind.  But it has never been in my mind before now.  Perhaps I heard it before but I couldn't define it and I definitely have never used it before.  "Unction" means an annointing or healing, a comforting or soothing.  I'm sort of freaking out right now.  In that corner over a year ago, this glimpse of God was His unction for me.  That sounds weird to use in a sentence.  He was unctioning me.  I don't know how to use it in a sentence obviously.  I cried hard, out of joy not sorrow.  Everything in me wanted those kids to one day down the road not fall into the stuff that people fall into here.  Drugs, dealing, prostituting, stealing, cursing, lying.

Everything today is so quick.  Internet, twitter, and facebook are increasingly getting closer to the speed of thought.  "That cloud looks like a twinkie, let me make sure everyone knows about it right now."  The meaningless forced meaningful.  Unimportant important.  Chapter 2 of A.W. Tozer's book, The Pursuit of God talks a lot about the throne of our hearts.  Titled "The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing," chapter 2 warns that God's gifts have taken the place of God.  He writes, "The pronouns my and mine look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use s significant.  They are verbal symptoms of our deep disease.  The roots of our hearts have grown down into things, and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die."

Some disposable cameras are/were limited to about 20 pictures.  Some pictures even needed to be shaken like a Polaroid.  Even longer back, pictures took a long time to develop.  My brain wants a picture of God here, another one there, a revealing of himself here, blessings and direction there.  It doesn't stop.  I need to slow down.  God's pace is different than my own.  The amount of growth I hope to see in these kids ten years down the road will not be the same amount of growth I see in one three-hour period.  This unction I am grateful.  This picture of God is not worth a thousand words, but rather, my entire life.  I will never forget that moment in the hallway.  A couple days ago, I was looking in the picture archives of 2nd Mile Ministries and saw many younger yet familiar little faces.  Some of the kids in our program with missing teeth, bigger eyes, rounder heads (I think), and now I am investing in those lives five days a week.  It reminded me of the unction and put these kids' lives in a longer perspective than I once perceived.  Photographs were developed slowly with the presence of light.  Get the picture?  1 John 1:5b, "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."

As promised, let me introduce another kid.  Diallo (dee-AH-low).  He is in fourth grade and Challah's older brother (Keyo's younger brother).  He is also very loud and demands attention.  He, like Challah, hides his weaknesses but is very smart.  He learns by watching, figures something out in his head, then can do it perfectly.  He's competitive, athletic, and is an influence (sometimes good sometimes bad).  Basically, he has leadership skills and speaks his mind, even if he's interrupting a lesson or conversation.  Before the program started, I had only heard of him.  On day one, I was introduced to my school-year-long internship with loud shouts, directionless running, fence-climbing, wild and free Diallo.  I think I even saw foam coming out of his mouth (ok, that might've just been the fear).  When he reads out loud, he mumbles as if he can't read some words, but his comprehension is incredible.  His words can be violent in nature and he can come across as tough, but whenever a tiny child (from a volunteer) visits or an extra hand is needed, he is reliable for willingly helping without being asked.  That gives me some hope that God can stretch out this rare snapshot of kindness into a solid man of godly character down the road.  I spend the most time with him because he loves attention but also needs attention in order to excel to his greatest potential.  He is capable of doing homework himself, but will give up easily if no one is there to keep him from being bored.  Pray for me.

                                                     Diallo during water day summer '10

Please pray:
-For God to help Diallo's words and actions to grow to be more respectful towards the other kids and us adults throughout this year.
-For God's leading to what we should do about Keyshawn and Jeffery (brothers who only showed up Monday last week), whether or not to keep them in the program, to continue on with only eight kids, or pursue a couple more kids to be added.
-For a more permanent vehicle for transporting the kids (renting a van every week will get costly).