I'm back in Wisconsin for Christmas break and it is wonderful. When I pulled up to my parents' house, there were tiny areas where snow remained. It's chilly. Some lakes are frozen with a light dusting of snow on them. Footprints are visible. Christmas lights on many windows and trees. Being in Wisconsin for Christmas just feels so right. The last couple days have gone by so quickly, but I will never forget them. I got to visit college friends and it was amazing how much my heart was hit with so many memories. All these friends took part in helping me grow as a Christian, a man, a brother, and a friend. As I reunited with each friend, God filled me with more and more joy and love. Memories came flooding in of how these friends played a part in my life and how we both experienced things God was doing together. How can I put words to this feeling? Can I even? I only had just enough time to catch up on life, very little time to build on our friendships. I was telling one of my former roommates how it felt like I was walking through Madison as an invisible onlooker, revisiting people and places from my past that were no more. The chill of the air in combination with this feeling of ghostlikeness made me think of death. My experiences there, in college, in Madison all died, but I myself am not dead. Life is now where I am building relationships. When I'm in Jacksonville around the community I'm a part of, I'm alive. New experiences are being created. Only time can tell if they will become powerful memories or a forgotten meaninglessness. Being on a break from ministry, from Jacksonville feels like an out-of-body experience. I am physically in Wisconsin. I can see, feel, touch, hear (and smell) people and places where I grew up. I feel like I got up from a movie for a half hour, only to return to a confusing plot, set of characters and changes, wondering what the heck happened while I was gone. My parents moved so I can't go back to the home I was raised in. Many close friends moved away so the friends I visited in Madison moved up the list priority. This break is feeling very restful, almost too restful.
These are all kind of random thought so I apologize that there's really no real direction or specific intent for this blog.
I've experienced and learned so much already in Jacksonville these past four months that have pushed me to see more of God's heart and less of my own. If you ask me how things have been going in Jacksonville, forgive me if I don't tell you everything. Many things go directly against how I believed life should be when I was only a few years younger. Living in a different culture from the one I grew up in has forced me to question much of what I believed to be the "correct way" to live. Forgive me, if at some point of updating you on what I'm doing, that I ask you questions I've had to ask myself about life. Forgive me if these questions come across as judgmental or critical, I only intend to open your eyes a little wider, pop your comfortable life bubble, and rip to shreds the box you may be putting an all-powerful and all-knowing God into. I will refrain from asking these questions on this blog. If you have the courage, humility, and curiosity, if you are open to listening to these questions (lovingly intended for encouragement and growth through love), I'd be very willing to ask, in fact, that's something that I've been yearning for since being back home. I'd love to pour into you and likewise, would love it if you were even critical with me on things that I'm weak in. Reading "Respectable Sins" by Jerry Bridges is showing me that there are many sins that I have that I don't even realize or address and they could be polluting my relationships with people without my knowing. Why are we resistant to criticism? And likewise, why are we so proudfully critical of others?
As soon as there is an understanding among all people that we all are sinful human beings (believers in Christ's punishment for us and non-believers in Christ's punishment for us), we can move forward in relationships, encourage one another in personal struggles, welcome feedback on how people experience you, take those things to God, ask Him to help reveal the hidden things about you that prevent a loving relationship from happening with another, but more importantly, ask Him to reveal to you the seriousness of your sin. You will never be perfect. Even if God reveals every hidden weakness to you, your sinful nature will cause you to continue to fail under your own strength and effort (or lack there of). I've said it before; only Jesus Christ has the ability to die in your place (because you and I do deserve to die) because he is perfect. A Christmas present may have your name on it, but it is not yours until you choose to take it. God has already unwrapped the gift to you to show you what it is. He has already purchased the gift with a currency of blood. Will you take it or return it? The countdown clock to your death is ticking.
Requests:
-This is hard for me to ask and maybe equally difficult to answer. How do you experience me? What about me gets on your nerves? Any sin you can call me out on? If there is something, past or present, please tell me. It may end up changing my life. It may be something I've never known before.
-Although I'm on a break from Jacksonville, please pray that the Lord would be faithful in growing me and preparing me for the rest of the school year. I don't want to be on break from God. Have you talked to Him today? I know He'd love to hear that voice He gave you.
-Please pray for Emery, Diallo, Alex, Charity, Chassidy, Rayshantia, and Challah over break. They are out of school, not in our program, with so many possible negative influences that can undo much of what God has done. Pray God would protect them and bring them back to the program starving for God's love (heck, include me in that prayer too).
I've been blessed to hear from those who have told me they are encouraged by reading this blog. Many times I feel I don't deserve such grace. Praise be to God for that encouragement. Thank you and have a blessed Christmas.
p.s. I wasn't kidding about request number one. lilvollmer@gmail.com
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Like Ghosts
I breathe about 20 times every minute. 20 breaths X 60 minutes X 24 hours X 365 days X 23.6 years = about 250 million breaths in my lifetime, not counting the times I was running around, requiring more oxygen, thus, more breaths. Acts 17:25 says "[God] himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." Each breath you take, (inhale, exhale) is a gift from God. With Christmas coming up, I'm sure gift-giving is to some extent on everyone's mind. God has the power to withhold our ability to breathe whenever. If you are reading this, then you are breathing. God has given me 250 million gifts in my lifetime, just with breaths. He is constantly giving. Every day, He wills. The gifts we give are tangible objects, many times on sale and with little thought or love. Although God does provide us with visible things, I feel his most beautiful gifts are those we can't purchase or find in a store. He fills me with joy. His word encourages me. His Spirit prompts my heart to pray for others. When I cry, He holds me. He doesn't struggle with the weight of carrying us. He warms the shivers of my life. With Jesus Christ in my life, the solid rock, nothing can shake me.
I would encourage you as you prepare for Christmas, that you look at the list of people you are getting gifts for, and stop and just think. What do I think about when I think of this person? How has this person positively impacted my life? What is unique about him/her? Have that be the basis of what you get them for Christmas. The gift you give should not be the gift itself, but rather the heart behind it. The unseen becomes reality, and the concrete becomes dust. One of my favorite bands, Gungor, has a new album out called "Ghosts Upon the Earth" which means this very thing. We are ghosts, here for a short while, mortal apparitions (one of my big boy words). The beauty of the earth, the Holy Spirit, God, love, unseen things are immortal realities.
You may have people on your list that you're not on speaking terms with. Maybe they're not even on your list. Maybe you should think of names that didn't make the list. For the past few weeks at the after school program, we've been teaching about forgiveness. What it means, who it's for, when to forgive. "If someone hits you, is it okay to hit them back? What should you do instead? Should you forgive someone even if they don't apologize?" Our memory verse two weeks ago was 1 John 1:9 which says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Matthew 6:14-15 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
The Christmas story is about Christ birth, God becoming man to take the punishment you and I deserve. What a gift! It's not Easter season, but who cares? Christ's death and resurrection mark an end to the old covenant (required obedience of the Old Testament Mosaic law) and a beginning of the new covenant (opportunity to receive salvation as a free gift through Christ). During his life, Jesus is believed to have been a carpenter. Have you ever worked with wood before? For the past week I've been chiseling a small piece of wood (probably 1x3x5) into a design of my choosing. I started by sanding the surface which caused a cloud of dust to fill my nostrils, scenting me back to second grade when I first sanded a rocket for Boy's Club at church. This piece of wood had lines on it, displaying the life-rings from the tree it was cut from. A tree that God let rain fall on, let be planted there, protected for years from being uprooted. A unique piece of wood like this, I learned, is very disobedient to what I want it to do. Granted this was my first time, but it seemed I had only little control over how much wood would be removed. The light parts are soft and sandable, the darker parts are stronger and more difficult to cut and sand. Imagine if this was your craft. You learn the characteristics of different woods, which types smell the best, shape the best, last the longest. Now, imagine having a wooden cross placed on your torn apart back. Your craft has become your crux. His skill taken to the Skull. I don't know this, but I bet Jesus looked at the wooden cross with thankfulness to his father in heaven who allowed him to be a carpenter. He probably knew that by the look of the wood, the huge nails that would go through his wrists and feet would keep him securely on that cross.
Consider this gift of life before December 25th. We are all sinners. There is no one righteous, no not one. Forgive someone. Love someone. Apologize to someone. Humble yourselves and approach the throne of grace with confidence. Give the gift of love, thoughtfulness, and forgiveness to those you intend to see or call or mail a letter to. Offer up your words, actions, and thoughts to the Lord and He will make your paths straight.
Enjoy three guys that God has given unique gifts to
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_McMPovPKY&feature=relmfu
I would encourage you as you prepare for Christmas, that you look at the list of people you are getting gifts for, and stop and just think. What do I think about when I think of this person? How has this person positively impacted my life? What is unique about him/her? Have that be the basis of what you get them for Christmas. The gift you give should not be the gift itself, but rather the heart behind it. The unseen becomes reality, and the concrete becomes dust. One of my favorite bands, Gungor, has a new album out called "Ghosts Upon the Earth" which means this very thing. We are ghosts, here for a short while, mortal apparitions (one of my big boy words). The beauty of the earth, the Holy Spirit, God, love, unseen things are immortal realities.
You may have people on your list that you're not on speaking terms with. Maybe they're not even on your list. Maybe you should think of names that didn't make the list. For the past few weeks at the after school program, we've been teaching about forgiveness. What it means, who it's for, when to forgive. "If someone hits you, is it okay to hit them back? What should you do instead? Should you forgive someone even if they don't apologize?" Our memory verse two weeks ago was 1 John 1:9 which says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Matthew 6:14-15 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
The Christmas story is about Christ birth, God becoming man to take the punishment you and I deserve. What a gift! It's not Easter season, but who cares? Christ's death and resurrection mark an end to the old covenant (required obedience of the Old Testament Mosaic law) and a beginning of the new covenant (opportunity to receive salvation as a free gift through Christ). During his life, Jesus is believed to have been a carpenter. Have you ever worked with wood before? For the past week I've been chiseling a small piece of wood (probably 1x3x5) into a design of my choosing. I started by sanding the surface which caused a cloud of dust to fill my nostrils, scenting me back to second grade when I first sanded a rocket for Boy's Club at church. This piece of wood had lines on it, displaying the life-rings from the tree it was cut from. A tree that God let rain fall on, let be planted there, protected for years from being uprooted. A unique piece of wood like this, I learned, is very disobedient to what I want it to do. Granted this was my first time, but it seemed I had only little control over how much wood would be removed. The light parts are soft and sandable, the darker parts are stronger and more difficult to cut and sand. Imagine if this was your craft. You learn the characteristics of different woods, which types smell the best, shape the best, last the longest. Now, imagine having a wooden cross placed on your torn apart back. Your craft has become your crux. His skill taken to the Skull. I don't know this, but I bet Jesus looked at the wooden cross with thankfulness to his father in heaven who allowed him to be a carpenter. He probably knew that by the look of the wood, the huge nails that would go through his wrists and feet would keep him securely on that cross.
Consider this gift of life before December 25th. We are all sinners. There is no one righteous, no not one. Forgive someone. Love someone. Apologize to someone. Humble yourselves and approach the throne of grace with confidence. Give the gift of love, thoughtfulness, and forgiveness to those you intend to see or call or mail a letter to. Offer up your words, actions, and thoughts to the Lord and He will make your paths straight.
Enjoy three guys that God has given unique gifts to
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_McMPovPKY&feature=relmfu
Saturday, December 3, 2011
What is time?
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I hope you all are enjoying the colder weather, wherever you are. I miss the snow. I miss wearing a jacket. I miss wearing four layers of pijama pants to bed every night (don't ask). I miss leafless tree. I miss seeing my breath. Today, we played ultimate frisbee in the park and I wore shorts and a t-shirt. You might wish you had this weather. I wish I had your weather. "It's so cold." "It's so hot." I find myself rarely thankful for the present weather I'm in. Before the wonderful invention of cell phones and clocks, time was determined by where the sun was and by seasons. Birds fly south. Dry seasons and rainy seasons. Leaves fall (in most places). Temperatures drop. In middle-class America 2011, efficiency and punctuality are valued and practiced by many. Schedules and structures are formed. Cell phones looked at frequently for time. Alarms set. Microwaves, ovens, sports shotclocks, all have timers that countdown. Clock in and clock out of jobs. How can I make the most out of my time?
Time is important. We should be more thankful for the time God allows us to live. Every inhale of oxygen is a gift from God. He keeps us alive. I just wanted to share why a middle-class view of time might hinder our ability to care for those from poverty (just in case "visiting the homeless" is ever on the calendar). Over a year ago in Madison, two friends and I went out to State Street to hand out a bunch of bagels that someone somehow had. I remember we sat and talked with an old lady named Sissy who was homeless and missing most of her teeth. She mostly did the talking and I remember that it was daytime when we met her, and getting darker when we finally left. It was a very long conversation and I can remember myself getting ancy, feeling like I should be somewhere, doing something, getting something done for myself. I glanced at my phone a bunch I remember. My point is this; when you have no phone or watch or job or meetings, time just doesn't matter. You only think about one thing. How do I make it through today? What am I going to eat? How do I stay warm? Keep cool? When there is nothing on your agenda for a day, the present is most important. Me, the future is most important. What decisions today will impact my tomorrow? College. Where to live. Job. If I want "C" to happen, then I must do "A" and "B". I have a friend who went to Mexico for a semester in college and said how he was frustrated that when he and his friends said they would meet somewhere at 5pm, it was normal for them to be an hour or so late. Time is used differently everywhere. Get up at the crack of dawn to start plowing the fields. Wait for the rainy season to pass before traveling in the jungle (I don't know if this one is true or not). If clocks and calendars did not exist, what things in our life would change? No TV guide, no organized sports. Tom Hanks kept track of time on his islandic hell in "Cast Away" by carving white notches into a rock to know when the winds would change and when he would shove off on his raft for freedom.
Whatever you think the norm is for how time should be managed, it is completely different in different cultures. Understanding the culture before we minister, I believe, is not just important, but necessary if we are to show the love of Christ. Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." Paul understood the people he was trying to save.
Please pray that God's wisdom and love for people in this different culture would be given me through the Holy Spirit. One of our two:fifty-two kid's house is being condemned on Dec. 9th even though they said they have the lease. Please pray they find a place to live that's close enough where he doesn't have to change schools and can stay in our program. Thank you. I will be back home in Wisconsin Dec. 20th thru the end of 2011. I'll be in Madison the 20th and 21st hopefully so if you'd like to hang out or see me let me know.
God bless
I like to find any excuse to share this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD7ErLIhwYA
Whatever you think the norm is for how time should be managed, it is completely different in different cultures. Understanding the culture before we minister, I believe, is not just important, but necessary if we are to show the love of Christ. Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." Paul understood the people he was trying to save.
Please pray that God's wisdom and love for people in this different culture would be given me through the Holy Spirit. One of our two:fifty-two kid's house is being condemned on Dec. 9th even though they said they have the lease. Please pray they find a place to live that's close enough where he doesn't have to change schools and can stay in our program. Thank you. I will be back home in Wisconsin Dec. 20th thru the end of 2011. I'll be in Madison the 20th and 21st hopefully so if you'd like to hang out or see me let me know.
God bless
I like to find any excuse to share this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD7ErLIhwYA
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