Is a pump fake a sin?

I often wonder about the definition of deception.  It implies lying, putting on a face, making others think something else, creating diversions.  There's a lot of messiness that comes out of deception.  There's the saying that covering up a lie just creates more and more lies, like a spider's web.  Mark Twain said, "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."  If I'm being completely honest, which is something I need to work on, I need to tell you that sometimes I get some satisfaction out of being a trickster.  Please allow me to explain.

Basketball is my favorite sport.  I've played since I was in 2nd grade, been on organized teams, went to a few basketball camps, watched it on TV a ton, and I still play at the courts nearby where I stay.  I'm 6 ft tall on a good day, weigh 150 lbs on a good day, have a decent shot, can't jump or play good defense.  I grew up waiting for my growth spurt.  Always one of the shortest on the court, I got pretty good at dribbling and really comfortable at the point guard position.  Court vision and passing became key elements to my game since I'd probably never get a rebound or be anywhere near the basket.  In middle school, I use to telegraph my passes (look at who I was passing to) and thus get the ball stolen sometimes.  Getting into high school, into college, and now on the streets, my favorite play has become the no look pass.  Pretty soon, throwing off an opponent became my favorite thing to do.  When you are able to pass to someone that no one else is paying attention to, you get the feeling that you can see the invisible.  Even when you pass the ball, defenders don't know where it's going.  I've often wondered, is it wrong to try my hardest to deceive people with this?  I don't have a clear answer either way.

There are games that involve lying.  Games like Boulderdash and Malarky imply deceitfulness just in their board game titles.  Mafia is a game in which there is a designated "killer" who tries to win the game by convincing everyone that he is just an innocent "townsperson" like everyone else.  People get voted out of the game based on who people believe the mafia is.  This is a game where my competitiveness and deception can come out in very negative ways for me.  Cheating at games in order to have an advantage in them is not something I do and I get quite annoyed when others try to do it.  However, I must admit, that I have cheated in games just to see if I could get away with it.  It's like an entirely different game for me.  When the Packers scored a touchdown off of a fake field goal attempt, that rare trickery got me excited.  When Ms. Deirdree (on staff with 2nd Mile) got me out of jail (in a game of capture the flag) when the whole game she just stood still guarding our flag, that unexpected move was so awesome and memorable for me.  When a magician completely fools me, that form of deception entertains.

I guess in my recent thoughts about deception, I've been kind of curious--are these seemingly harmless forms of deception healthy?  My answer is, I have no idea.  I do know that lying and deception are sins, but is it only to the degree that it hurts someone else?  The past few weeks, I've been reading through Genesis about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  This past week I've been learning about how traits and values (both good and bad) are passed down through families.  Family life and how you are raised probably play the biggest part in the way you think and live.  Chapter 12 shows how Abraham (then Abram) lied and said that Sarah (then Sarai) was his sister and not his wife in order to protect his life.  The next generation, Isaac (in Chapter 26) does the same thing and says that Rebekah is his sister so that he isn't killed for having a beautiful wife.  This lying trait was passed down.  The next generation with Jacob gets even more messy.  Jacob disguises himself as his brother Esau and Isaac (with fading eyesight) gives Jacob the blessing instead (Chapter 27).

Anyway, I don't think I have a wrap-up/conclusion to this blog.  I know that I like no look passes, seeing what is unseen, and occasionally mind games.  I leave you with this list of questions, straight from a book I've been reading called The Emotionally Healthy Church.  These questions were written with the intention of helping Christ-followers understand the way they operate and how leaving negative ways of thinking unchecked, left under the surface, can lead to some devastating things generations from now.  I think these questions would be good for anyone to go through.  Sometimes looking back on past events from the family we grow up in can be difficult and painful and weird, but these questions are just to bring to the surface some of the ways we might negatively impact the present with our past.

"1. Describe each family member with three adjectives and their relationship.

2. Describe your parents' relationship.

3. How was conflict handled in your family? Anger?  Tension?

4. How were gender roles and authority worked out in your family?

5. How well did you family do in talking about feelings?

6. How would your family describe you? How do you think you family things about you?

7. How was sexuality talked or not talked about? What were the implied messages?

8. Were there any family "secrets" (such as pregnancy out of wedlock, incest, or major financial scandal)?

9. What was considered "success" in your family?

10. How was money handled? Spirituality? Holidays? Relationship with extended family?

11. How did your family's ethnicity shape you?

12. Were there any heroes or heroines in the family? Scapegoats? "Losers"? Why?

13. What kinds of addictions, if any, existed in the family?

14. Were there traumatic losses in the past or present, such as sudden death, prolonged illnesses, stillbirths/miscarriages, bankruptcy, or divorce?

15. How was spirituality expressed?"

This was difficult for me to do but it really helped bring to light many things that I had been lying to myself about myself.  I pray that God would show you how much you are loved through this process if you choose to take the leap of faith that He'll use it.

Unto others

It has occurred to me at many times in this past month that I have been acting selfishly, especially in the ways that I deal with the kids in our after school program.  I've gotten a lot better at disciplining kids for obviously wrong choices.  Last year, and occasionally this year, I was all about getting the kids to like and respect me. If they wanted to do something or have something, I wanted to be accommodating.  "Sure you can do this easy addition worksheet instead of this reading one that you need to learn."  "Sure you can go to the bathroom and waste time because you don't want to read."  It took me a while to understand some of the deeper reasons kids want to do things.

For the past three weeks, as I've been more disciplined to discipline, I've noticed my own tendency to want comfort.  Do I make the kids quiet down because it is rude and disrespectful when an adult is talking, or just so I can have some quiet.  One thing about living in this culture is that everything seems to be louder.  I grew up living in a duplex with upstairs neighbors so I quickly learned that being quiet meant less conflict.  However, living here in Brentwood, noise doesn't always mean something bad is happening.  Sometimes people just converse at louder decibels.  Do I need to know the details of someone's day that is standing on the opposite end of the block?  No, but that's just normal here.  When I take parts of my culture that I grew up with and implant them into a new culture believing that my way is right and theirs is wrong, I'm showing pride and a lack of understanding.  When you go into someone's house for the first time, do you automatically kick your shoes up and put your feet on the table or walk into all the rooms without invitation?  I hope not.  Anyway, my selfish wanting peace and quiet to make my life easier rather than wanting the kids to grow up as respectful human beings is a sin of mine that I must confess.

This past week, it hit me square in the heart.  I get so frustrated when the kids hear what I say and completely ignore what I'm asking them to do.  They want to be in control of their lives, even though they don't understand what sort of things are going to help them grow.  We, as the adults, can see clearly how sometimes punishment for wrong choices is the only way for the kids to understand that they did something wrong.  The more situations that are out of my control, the more I started to realize, "Man, I wonder how God feels when I completely disobey his commands or go do whatever I want to do with my life, thinking that it's going to bring growth when in reality only a life with Christ will bring any true life."  Too often do I let daily tasks or routines take priority over my relationship with God.  I'll wake up in the morning, get my Bible ready, open it up, and realize, "Let me just check my email quick," or "I need to fix me some breakfast and go to the bathroom, then I'll be ready."  Pretty soon, one task leads to another and before I know it, the day is over and not once did I acknowledge God's existence.    God knows that there is no way that I am going to obey all his commands and he wants me to understand my own weakness.  Why in the world should I expect perfection out of these kids then?

I've got one challenge and one prayer request for this week.  You probably how heard of the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you..." (Matthew 7:12).  Have you ever asked yourself, "What would I have others do to/for me?"  Being completely honest with you, I just want to have someone acknowledge my existence, help me with ideas for the after-school program, pray with/for me.  Have I been doing these things to/for others?  Not really.  I was so happy when one of my friends that I haven't talked to in a while called me late at night just to catch up.  Such an easy gesture, yet so infrequently do I do this to others.  I am a selfish human being, who is commanded to love others as myself.  Man, if I loved my neighbors as love myself, they would be loved so much.  I probably wouldn't be able to stop thinking about them.

My prayer request is that God would not change my circumstances, but rather my heart.  I don't think He concerns himself with what is happening to me, but rather what is happening in me.

I can't cook

One of my responsibilites this year is to plan the Fun Friday activities which will include science experiments, learning about different countries, bringing in special guests, etc. This past Friday, we learned about Ireland (mainly because I found a children's book about Ireland that looked interesting enough to plan). I found an Irish stew recipe online that I thought would be cool for the kids to try and get a taste of Ireland. This recipe had so many different spices and ingredients that I've never bought in a store before and didn't even know if they were in every grocery store. Russet potatoes, Worcestershire sauce, and beef broth? Huh? If these are obvious things to you please don't laugh at me. Let me give you a brief history of the cooking abilities of Andrew Vollmer.

I can usually unintentionally find a way to mess up even the simplest of meals. Easy Mac, even implyed in the name, was not easy for me. Turns out, boiling the water should happen before you put the noodles in. Spaghetti. Yes, spaghetti. If you start cooking the noodles and they begin to soften and it appears that you will be able to eat more than you are cooking, don't put in more noodles and expect the new ones to magically cook faster and catch up to the ones that have been cooking already. I once cooked a frozen pizza with the cardboard still attached. You can't microwave a Chef boyardee container if the metal cap is still attached. Tomato paste is not a substitute for tomatoes. Rice burns if you keep it on low after it's already cooked. Just some helpful hints to you beginner cooks. I've learned many things that do not work.

Anyway, as I went grocery shopping with my list of ingredients, I realized that there have only been a couple times in my life where I went to store in order to follow a recipe. I was putting a lot of faith in someone else's instructions for a mean Irish stew. With 18 different items to get (luckily my roommate had some of them already), I was amazed that I found these strange foreign things. I was entering into the 90% of the grocery store I never shop in. My world was opening. Excited to start cooking, I arrived late Thursday night, preparing my mind to cook this stew the next morning. I did forget the Worcestershire sauce, but that's not that important (I think).  Here's a pic of the stew-making process which I actually kind of enjoyed.  Stew meat, garlic, parsley, beef broth, sugar, thyme, bay leaves, and salt in the pot.  Carrots, onions, and potatoes (very Irish) in the pan almost ready to be added to the pot.  It smelled great even though I had to improvise (a terrifying word for me) with some of the measurements since not much of the meat defrosted in time.  Defrosting is something I often forget to do as well.



The stew was finished by noon and I took the pot to the church since we had a staff meeting from 12-2pm before the after school program started.  I put the pot on the oven at the church on what I though was low heat.  20 minutes later, in the middle of our meeting I sensed that it was on medium high heat and burning/boiling/being ruined.  Ah well.  Another failure.  I scooped out what wasn't burnt and put it into a different pot and warned the kids that I cooked the stew and I wouldn't feel bad if they didn't like it.  Many didn't like it (weird after taste) but a couple ate a bunch of it.  If only I had anticipated possible ways for it to go wrong.  I'm still very inexperienced but it was nice to escape from the usual diet of sandwiches, pizza, cereal, and fast food.  (Don't worry, that's not all I eat.)

In the midst of all of the scheduled activities at the after school program, there are rules and expectations that hover around the room in every circumstance and situation.  These were made by the adults in order to have order in the classroom and provide the kids with an understanding of right and wrong choices.  Firstly, some rules are strictly enforced, no wiggle room for "No swearing" or "No fighting."  Especially since our expectations are up on a poster on the wall, these are set in stone.  Secondly, there are other rules that have to be created and changed as the year goes on due to the ways that that rule plays out in actual life.  For example, we started handing out individual water bottles at snack time to eliminate the wasted time from last year where kids would go get water, go to the bathroom, sometimes when it wasn't even needed.  About a week in, we realized that the kids having their own water bottles meant that they thought they could do what they wanted with "their" bottle which included squirting it at other kids.  Thus, a new rule was created.  "Playing with the water bottles results in it getting taken away and you won't get any tomorrow either."  Finally, the last kind of rule we have is the kind is of the inconsistant type.  The ones that have a gray area where one day no kid is allowed to go inside for water or a bathroom break in the middle of game time, and the next day, a kid is allowed to go inside for water or a bathroom break in the middle of game time.  It's in these inconsistancies from our own inadequecies to know the kids hearts and minds fully (as God does) where the kids are not only confused but also have that wiggle room to try to manipulate and stretch those boundaries and freedoms their sinful natures desire.

Yesterday I went to a place called Boing! with my girlfriend and her niece and it was awesome.  There were trampolines everywhere.  The employees there all had zebra-striped referee shirts on and there was an awesome dodgeball court as well.  In the open trampoline area, where the floors were completely trampolined, I tried bouncing as high as I could.  Being the cautiously daring type, I started testing the limits of this chamber of anti-gravity liberty.  Even the walls had slanted trampolines to bounce into.  I intentionally bounced off a wall onto a thick mat.  Immediately I heard "Off the walls!"  What?  I realized it has been years since I've been scolded for doing something wrong.  It took me back to the days at the local pool where I'd hear, "Stop running!" from the lifeguards.  Wanting to continue my freedom to fly, I challenged my girlfriend's niece to a race from one end of the area to the other.  As she took the lead from me, I started to run on the trampolines instead of bounce in order to catch up.  "No running!"  Are you serious?  You're just going to stand there with your striped shirt on and tell me what I can and can't do?  I got frustrated since I probably had 5 years on the worker and had no intentions of hurting anyone with my "reckless" behavior.  Being told rules without any knowledge of them existing in the first place is frustrating.  I realized that I was also confused when a different worker didn't say anything earlier when I did the same things.  It was good to at least know what the rules were so that I wouldn't do those things anymore.

Rules (or recipes) are often created by those that have experience or know the dangers of not following them.  Rules are often kept by those that either want some sort of power, self-righteousness, or in some case, genuinely want to do the right thing.  When I think of God's law, the Ten Commandments for example, I don't believe God made them so that we would be confused or frustrated with our lack of freedom.  God gave these commandments because He knows the hurt that murder causes and theft causes and adultery causes.

There is something I need to tell you, whoever may be reading this.  You may do your best to follow all the rules, do all the right things, but "whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." (James 2:10)  Being "good" or following directions does not grant you heaven when you die.  Being "good" or following directions will not help these kids in our program know the true gospel of Jesus Christ.  There were people called Pharisees in the Bible who Jesus called out in his ministry as being posers who clean the outside of their cup and dish yet have wickedness and greed on the inside (Luke 11:39-41).  Please don't be a Pharisee.  Rule-following will not save you.  If you are reading this and you know you don't follow the rules, in fact, you break them whenever you can and you know it's eating away at your soul, there is a savior who died for you even when we were in sin (Romans 5:8).  Don't worry about what people will think and definitely don't worry about being judged by Christians for your past actions.  Just come before Jesus.  Go to him.  Talk to him.  He hears you.  The only one who did follow all the rules and was without any imperfection.  He is a righteous God who searches minds and hearts (Psalms 7:9) and knows what you're going through.  He is able to sympathize with our weaknesses because he was tempted in every way and was without sin (Hebrews 4:15).  Psalm 19:11-17 says
"The law of the Lord is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the Lord are sure
and altogether righteous.
They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.
By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward."

We need help from God to keep his commands, sometimes even when we already have a relationship with Him.  One thing I'd like to remind you of is this.  It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.  Take his yoke upon you and learn from him, for he is gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.  His yoke is easy and his burden is light.

[Lord, thank you for this time getting to write your wordswith such ease through the prompting of the Holy Spirit.  You are so good to me even when I don't deserve it.]





If you have any recipes that you enjoy, feel free to send them my way at lilvollmer@gmail.com.  I definitely could use help from people who know what they're doing.

Won't you be my neighbor?

Week 1 of the two:fiftytwo After School Program is done and I'm excited to see in what ways God transforms these kids, their families, and us as well.  As of right now, we have 11 kids, 5 from last year and 6 new kids.  In case you are curious, the veteran kids are Diallo and Challah (brother, sister), Charity and Chassidy (sisters), and Alex.  I feel that this year is going to be much more organized and on point (slang down here for on the right track or right on).

On Monday, I got to see the kids for the first time since last May.  I was excited.  I went with Marc to pick up 5 kids from Brentwood Elementary at 3.  We pulled up to the pick-up area and Alex and Diallo yelled in excitement, "Mr. Andrew!"  Huge smiles on their faces, they came in the big white van up to the passenger seat where I was and gave me a group hug.  I missed those kids.  It's these kids that I'm intentionally pouring my time and love into for this next school year.  Since being back in Jacksonville, there has been more drive, more importance put on every situation, every encounter, every opportunity to speak, do, act, rest.  It's hard to explain.  It's like, if you think of the smell of oranges, you can imagine they smell good.  Only when you actually smell an orange do your senses leap at the citrus scent.

A couple times a week, I walk to the basketball court in the morning and play a game called "31."  It's a good exercise game when there's nobody else to play with at the court.  I start the stopwatch and see how quickly I can make 10 layups, 10 free throws, 10 three-pointers, and 1 halfcourt shot.  Sometimes I wonder what people walking by think of this white guy running with intent on the court, shooting with determination, all by himself.  Yesterday, as I was walking back home (about 3-4 blocks away from the court), a nice white car playing loud music that sounded like it could have been on Soul Train drove past me, turned around, and put his window down.  A little nervous about this guy approaching me in his car, I was asked, "You stay in that house right there?" 
To my relief, wanting to be friendly, I replied, "That yellow house?  Yep, I stay there." 
"I saw you guys had mowed your lawn the other day with a push mower.  Any time y'all want, you can borrow my lawn mower.  It did a terrible job.  I'm your neighbor Riley." 
"Thanks man, I'm Andrew.  Nice to meet you." 
"Alright now, I'm your neighbor.  Any time."  He drove away and it felt good to hear someone from my block had our backs.  When he reinforced that he was our neighbor, it was as if he was saying, "You don't need to struggle with a cheep mower when I'm two doors down and can share."  That's one thing I love about the inner city culture.  People are so much better at borrowing and sharing resources.  I think many of us grow up in a culture where everyone needs their own car, their own computer, their own phone, their own rolling pin, their own whatever.  It was cool to know that Riley was watching out for us "white folk" who are generally new to the neighborhood, or at least that street.  It reminds me of living a life under our own strength, not relying on God as our soul/sole satisfaction.  We got our own weak push-mowers and we struggle with them when God has the sufficient resources we need.  Jesus once said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

This morning, the Young Adults Ministry at the church I go to was helping out 2nd Mile with some demolition on the building we hope to move into.  We took out doorframes, metal cross bars, hanging electrical things, pipes, wires, glass windows, etc.  We mostly worked on the second floor and I gotta tell ya, there's something satisfying about throwing a huge metal or wood piece with nails sticking out of it 20 feet down to the unexpecting ground below.  I felt dangerous and helpful at the same time.  Just a few more building blocks in the ministry's cathedral.

Just from the first week of school, I'm already getting to see some cool things with the new kids.  Here's a list of them.
Mekhi and Ferrell (2nd grade boys)
Michaella and Tommieyah (3rd grade girls)
Laila (4th grade girl)
Kayla (5th grade girl)

I will hopefully in the coming weeks give you more details on who these kids are as I get to know them.  They are pretty awesome.

One initiative we are trying to focus on more this year is building relationships with the entire families of these kids.  Last year, we really only got to talk to parents when they picked their kids up from the program.  This year, we are hoping once a month to plan some sort of get-together or something just to get to engage and have fun with the families.

Please pray:
-That relationships with the kids, the families, with our neighbors, with guys at the basketball courts would be built on the foundation of Christ's love for us and them rather than for only being friends.
-For Chassidy (3rd grade girl) who had a rough Thursday, had a difficult time handling herself.  There's some deep hurting going on in that family, just not sure exactly what it is.
-That I'd be diligent with support raising as it has been difficult to do that due to wanting to go full-steam ahead into the school year and what I'm doing here.

Hope you are blessed by this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iG2wUL1vTY

Walls

"I'm amazed at what John gets away with.  I guess that's one of the fruits that come with age: You can say what you want and not have to waste time sugarcoating the truth.  You can hear in his voice the sassiness of the prophets but also the gentleness of a grandfather.  This is part of his charm and the covert innocence that has allowed him to affect and infect so much of our society without getting killed (so far).  Many times, with a glisten in his eyes and a smirk on his face, I've heard him say things such as, 'We've got the best politicians...that money can buy.'  And I remember that same prophetic smile on his face as we went to jail together-not in the civil rights protests decades past, but only a year ago when we were singing those old spirituals and praying the Lord's prayer outside the Capitol to decry a nation budget that turned the Beatitudes upside down as it blessed the rich and sent the poor away empty.

John cries out with the prophets, 'Let justice roll down,' and yet he will surprise you with his grace.  I remember hearing one fellow share how he told John about his racist mother and, after listening intently, John said, 'Does your mother like blueberries?  Let's go visit her.' And they did, fully armed with a bowl of berries.  It is that sort of childlike love that our world is starving for.  There is no doubt that we need justice to roll down like water; those words of the prophets drip from Perkin's tongue.  And yet justice without grace still leaves us thirsty.  Justice without reconciliation falls short of the gospel of Jesus.  Love fills in the gaps of justice.  John has lived for us what it looks like when justice and reconciliation kiss.  After all, he did not just call for an end to the hate crimes of the Klu Klux Klan, but he became friends with a reborn Klansman."

I had the privilege of hearing John Perkins speak at a CCDA (a conference about Christian Community Development Association).  When he speaks, no matter how mumbled or quiet, everyone listening hangs on to every word as inspired wisdom.  I didn't know much about this 82 year old man from Mississippi, but his story must be powerful, seeing as he founded this association.  I began reading his autobiography called When Justice Rolls Down and it has captivated me.  Each chapter is a deeper look into his life, growing up on a plantation as a sharecropper, living with extended family, moving to California when he was 17.  There's something very real about diving into someone's life, seeing life as they see it.  I bet if any of the white plantation owners during that time could see life through a black man's eyes, seeing their own sin and how it affected the self-image of generations of African Americans, they'd wonder, "What in the world are we doing here with slavery?  We and our ancestors made a terrible mistake that we're not addressing."

Last night, I watched The Lorax, a movie based on a Dr. Seuss book where a little fury orange creature with a mustache (The Lorax) speaks for the trees and tries to stop the Once-ler from cutting down all the trees to make thneeds (don't ask).  Anyway, the movie begins in the future in Thneedville, an enclosed town with no real trees, few even remember what real trees are.  A generation is functioning in a place that they think is great, not knowing that a great deforested land surrounds their isolated town of happiness.  Near the end of the movie, a large construction vehicle knocked down one of the walls so that the towns people could see dark and dead stumps, scars from a past they didn't know.  This realization brought fire to the town's desire to plant and plant and plant trees and trees and trees.

Are you familiar with the slave ships from centuries past where people from Africa were taken from their homes, loaded on a ship, and forced to work as slaves in America?  Was that pleasing to God? Doubt it.  Did we in 2012 have anything to do with those decisions?  No.  Are many of you living in your own isolated town of happiness, free of any knowledge of past mistakes that few were around to remember?  I don't know.  But it's a question too important to ignore.  Are you?

John Perkins remembers his childhood on Mr. Bush's plantation, "Mr. Fred Bush.  I remember that name well, because that name was just about the first words I ahd to learn--my first introduction to a segregated society.  You see, who I was in those days was described only in terms of a dependent relationship to a white man.

Back then, if a black child was walking along the road or was in town on a Saturday, and he met an older white person, the white's first words would be, 'What place you on, boy?'

I had to know the answer.  Because I wasn't anybody all by myself, or even by who my family was.  I wasn't important in their eyes; only the person I was connected to.  And it meant that my own name, John Perkins, had no significance; only the name of the man on whose land I lived.  So right from the beginning, I learned the proper reply, 'Mr. Bush's place,' whenever someone asked me where I belonged."


This past week, I've been typing in the titles of so many childrens books, trying to find the reading levels so the kids in our program will more accurately be able to quickly find books that are at their skill level.  We've also been pretty busy decorated the room, rearranging tables, chairs, and making posters for the walls.  Here's a picture of current progress.

Please pray:

-This week at the after school program goes well and that we look to God for strength and patience.

-Our staff team and volunteers are able to connect and work together as a unit.

-For God to reveal the things that might be outside of your comfort zone, your walls that you may have set up.

Thank you for your prayers and support.

Back in J'Ville

In the movie Avatar, the main character in the movie is a paraplegic Marine named Jake Sully who is recruited to live among the native people of the planet in order to learn about a power source that the humans hope to take control of.  To be disguised in an Avatar body, Jake Sully lays down in a chamber that puts him to sleep and activate a tall blue body.  While Jake's human and handicapped body goes to sleep, his Avatar body wakes up and is able to move and run in ways that Jake could only dream of.  Among the other Avatars, Jake begins to learn about this strange people and their ways of living.  When it becomes time for the Avatars to sleep, Jake's Avatar sleeps but then his human body wakes up.  As Jake learns more and more about the Avatars, he begins to love it and desires less to complete his mission to help destroy these people.  He begins to believe that his human life feels like the dream instead of his reality.

I've lived in Wisconsin for most of my life.  How I was raised, who I've made friends, what I've learned, all Wisconsin.  When I came to Jacksonville in the summer of 2010, it felt like a dream.  Who are these people?  What can I learn from them?  Wisconsin, my family, and my friends I'm familiar with.  When I began learning about poverty in downtown Milwaukee, this new world I never knew before, I began a journey of transitioning my heart to this place of underprivilege and neglect.

Last Sunday, I arrived in Jacksonville to begin my staff job with 2nd Mile Ministries.  I had a whole 45 minutes to put my bag in my room, take a 30 minute nap, then rushed to my first ministry meeting of the year.  Although it was already a long and tiring day, I was revved up for all that was said.  2nd Mile has been busy this summer with planning and loving on the Brentwood neighborhood.  I apologize if the rest of the blog kind of spills out and makes a mess but I wanted to at least keep you updated on progress.

Church

2nd Mile Ministries has been praying and seeking to plant a church in the Brentwood community.  Last year, they secured a pastor who is willing to lead this new church with his wife along side him.  We don't have a building for the church yet, but that's okay "the church" is a group of people, not a building.  Starting on Aug. 28th, there will be weekly Bible studies at Marc's house (where I'm living this year) for anyone that'd like to come.  Diallo and Challah's mom (two kids in our two:fiftytwo After School Program) heard about the Bible study and quickly stated, "Y'all are inviting me.  I need me some Jesus in my life.  What color is the pastor?"  She is a character.  Definitely never boring around her.  In case you'd like to know, the pastor is black.

Staff

As you might've heard from my mouth this summer, I will be on staff along with two other full-time staff members.  Something I found out at our meeting last Sunday is that there will also be two part-time staff members joining this year!  Dani, a former intern who does alot of work with designing our website, editing videos, and so so much more.  Deirdree, a substitute teacher in the Brentwood neighborhood who was a huge help last year volunteering and helping us inexperienced teachers know better ways to teach and discipline kids.

Kids

We had 10 students last year at our program and I'm pumped to get to see them again.  I've been told a few of our kids may not be back this year because they've either moved or switched schools.  Please pray that they would be safe and continue to grow in wisdom, in stature, and in favor with God and man. (Luke 2:52)  Also, pray that God would lead us to the right students and families to recruit new students for the program.

Building

The church where our after school program is held owns a two-story building next door that since spring break has had a lot of work done on it.  I took this picture today as Marc, Ernest (friend from the neighborhood), and I moved so many boxes and furniture out of the Green House and into this building and the church office for storage.  You can see that when it rains, the roof leaks, electric things are hanging from the ceiling, pipes are coming up from the ground.  It still has a lot of work to do but it sure has come a long way.  If you want to see more pictures of it's progress this summer, check out http://www.2ndmile-jax.com/photos/building-progress-walls-coming-down/. 

My Responsibilities
A year ago, my jobs consisted of planning rec time (games every day), being at the program every day, and teaching the Bible lessons.  This year, my tasks include planning rec time again, coordinating the Fun Friday activities (science experiments, field trips, cultures, dance, music, art, special guests, etc.), and constructing a better system for all the books for reading time.  It's a lot of work but I'm actually super pumped to plan and do busy work (weird that these things have become fun for me).

Mission Statement
This summer, the staff members spent hours in brainstorming, meetings, and prayer to come up with a clearer and excitement new mission statement.  We are seeking to see the gospel renew lives and communitites so they are transformed in every way.  In every way.  Not just helping the kids get better grades, but building relationships with all people and organizations, seeking to be a blessing and share the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I feel as though I hit the ground running since Sunday.  Had three straight days of meetings and planning.  Spent most of the day today walking up and down flights of stairs with a bunch of boxes possibly more heavy than my body should handle.  No more Green House.  I think the bank is going to buy it out.  Memories are still there but life's momentum is still rolling.  In this new world, I'm ready to be an active part of it.

Dream

Last night I had a strange dream.  One of my favorite movies is Inception because I think it was such a creative idea to delve into the world of dreams and dreams within dreams.  In the movie, it's possible to even share other people's dreams.  If you're like me, you have a difficult time remembering your dreams.  For a time, if I had a very vivid dream, I'd wake up and write down everything I could remember about it--people, setting, plot (if there was one).  When I'm in my dream, everything seems to make sense, despite all the complexities and constant scene changes.  Objects and people seem to morph into new ones before my eyes and my brain just morphs to make perfect sense of it.  I must admit, sometimes after writing down my dreams, I'd try to make sense of it again.  Is there any hidden meaning?  Can I learn anything about myself?  Sometimes I feel I do learn things about my fears, my desires, based on occurrences in my dreams.  Other times, they just make no sense.

Two nights ago, I remember being in a war (in my dream) and we had one last battle to fight, it was going to be dangerous.  Afraid that this would be the last time I got to see life, I was scared but was willing to do whatever I was commanded.  To my surprise, it seemed clear that I was to hide from the enemy, not as a surprise attack tactic, but just to not be seen, not get hurt or messy.  In the dream, I was relieved because I probably wasn't going to die in that battle.  An assignment to hide?  Pshh, I could do that.  Now that I reflect back on this dream, what was I thinking, wishing that I wouldn't be involved in the battle because I might get hurt or die?  Would I get a badge of honor for fulfilling my duties of not dying?  In real life, do I err on the side of caution?  Yep.  Of comfort?  Yep.  I don't tend to take too many risks if it's out of my comfort zone. 

Last night's dream.  If you read the last blog from June 30th, you may remember a video I included with pastor Francis Chan talking about a Christ-like love.  I'm very thankful to God for the things he's taught me through this pastor over the past three years.  (Shout-out to those on the '09 Milwaukee Summer Project who got me his book Crazy Love which took me on a really cool journey to greater admiration for God).  Anyway, the year after I graduated college, I worked at a Christian bookstore.  I haven't worked there for about a year and last July, the store actually closed down.  Basically it's been awhile since I worked there.  So, when Francis Chan is the manager of this bookstore and gives you your job back for the summer, you'd get a little weirded out right?  Not me.  It made perfect sense in my dream.  It made perfect sense that he was in Madison, that I was working again, that I was working alongside him.  Really weird.  I was thinking about telling him about Jacksonville and 2nd Mile Ministries when suddenly, I get transported to the Green House in Brentwood where I lived last year in a conversation with some friends, as if the previous had never happened.  Man, how awesome it would be to observe one of your dreams through conscious eyes!

What do you live for?  What is your absolute goal in life?  Is your every day activity in congruence with that goal?  Read Colossians 3:1-2 carefully and think about your own life.  "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."  What does this mean?  I've been reading through a devotional and scripture this summer and something has been happening with me.  I'm actually learning about the reality that the gospel message, that Jesus Christ died for sinners so that through our faith in him and his forgiveness of our sins that we may spend eternity with him as his adopted children, is not just a decision I made once in my life or something think about on Sundays, or even something I meditate on during quiet times.  It is an every moment of every day lifestyle.  Seeking God, pursuing his will has been growing in my heart this past week.  What in my life is counterfeit, making me believe it is worthy of my time and money, excuse me, God's time and provision?  What are we living for?  Do you have your mind set on eternal things or is the world and all of its voices yelling through your ears, hoping to grab a hold of your heart, and distract you from God's instructions.  This life is a war full of many battles that we must face every moment of every day.  You may be afraid of losing your life (maybe not physically), losing the things you cling to for your comfort.  I don't intend to try and make you feel guilty about your life.  My intention is to draw your attention to a God that wants your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole mind, your whole strength.  Can you give him your heart when it desires other things first?  Your whole mind when it is full of lustful/angry/worried thoughts?  Your whole strength when it's just easier to sit there and not move and just think about what'd be like to be close to God?  Imagine what your life would look like if every word, thought, and deed was surrendered for God to use in whatever way He wanted.  I'd love to share that dream with you.

Please pray for me that I would learn more and more what it means to surrender my thoughts and actions to the will of the almighty God.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF_x8dsvb_4