Everyone a Ref

Have you ever had an obsession?  Ever put so much time and energy into something, absorbed in a world of discovery and forced importance, completely disregarding how pointless it is?  Well, if you've known me since I was little, you may know about my past obsession with basketball cards.  I loved buying, collecting, organizing, dealing, sorting, resorting, resorting again.  For some reason, it fascinated me.  Now 23, I'm starting to wish I had those dollars back, that time back.  I did learn alot about basketball, players, statistics, and organizing from it, but it consumed me.  The cards are gone (I should say, the importance of the cards is gone.  My parents would be quick to point out the space they are still taking up in their closet), but my love for basketball still remains.  Here in Jacksonville, I try to play when I can, when I'm not busy.  I enjoy every game, even when we lose.  Every game is different.  Different teams, different players, different game scenarios, people might be having a good or bad day, people may be tired or pumped up.  Each game like a snowflake.  Well, being in Florida, I'll say each game is like a seashell (I think they are all different?).

Street ball in Brentwood vs. Organized Basketball leagues that I'm used to:
Street ball:                                                                                   Organized:
    -on concrete                                                                               -hardwood
    -no refs                                                                                       -refs
    -call your own fouls                                                                 -refs call fouls
    -no coach, no organized plays                                               -coaches call plays
    -persuasion is sometimes a necessary skill                         -refs call is final
    -the ball that is used is usually old and rough                   -indoor ball smooth and fully pumped up
    -mental scoreboard                                                                 -physical scoreboard
    -hot!!                                                                                         -fans or AC
    -audience made up of players waiting to play next           -audience made up of spectators (family)
    -games to 16 baskets                                                              -highest score wins
    -we play for hours                                                                  -we played for 32-40 minutes
    -no water                                                                                 -water bottles or water boys

It's a little different here.  With no drawn up plays, a well-executed play consists of improvisation, the unknown, adrenaline, muscle, and trickery.  With no ref or scoreboard, responsibility is given (more like taken) by those with the skill of persuasion and loud voices (not me).  In every close game I've ever played in here, tensions begin to rise, arguing ensues, defense gets tighter, smack-talk elevates.  "it's tie game."  "No, we up one!"  "No!  We just tied it up with that layup!"  "No!!  You missed that shot bro!!"  After a couple minutes of this, we finally continue with playing.  For a guy who just wants to play and doesn't put too much importance in winning, I get easily frustrated with these frequent blow-ups.

I'm guessing that everyone on the court has an opinion, including me, about plays that could go either way.  Calls, missed calls, what's a foul, what's not a foul, what's traveling, what's a carry.  All these things that refs normally deal with, we have to deal with.  People argue loudest for an opinion that benefits his team, his side.  Even if in his mind he knows he's wrong, he might have the voice and persuasive ability to sway the outcome of the play.  The more skilled the player, the more say they seem to have.  How strange would it be for a player to say loudly to his teammates, "The ball touched you last," or "I traveled and it's the other team's ball."?  Who argues for someone else's benefit?  That's weird.  I think many people, even Christians are the same way, myself included.  I admit, sometimes I will hear a preacher speak some biblical truth and I might think of some other people who need it.  I think of other people's faults before my own.  I'm no better.  Matthew 7:3 comes to mind, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"  Everyone has a human need to be accepted, to be loved.  When I focus on someone's faults, weaknesses, "bad parts", how can I love them, accept them, or even forgive them?  Recognizing that I deserve death and that I am imperfect (Romans 3:23, if you don't know it, check it out) is the first step in reconciling differences or even beginning a relationship with a stranger.  I hope next time I play, I don't hold it against somebody who wastes time arguing and think I'm somehow better.  They need Jesus too.

I'm reading a book by Miles J. Stanford called "The Green Letters."  I just finished a chapter about acceptance and how God accepts us because of Christ rather than us working to gain acceptance from God.  I have been blessed so far with being accepted on the basketball courts.  Being the only white guy there is hard sometimes, like I'm an animal in a zoo to stare at.  People I've never met have asked me, "You stay (live) around here?"  In other words, "It is very strange to see a person of your skin-color partaking in a basketball game in a very dangerous neighborhood like this one."  It was exciting for me this past week to see some guys I met last time I was here.  O'Shea, Cory, Boodai, and Bop remember me from a year ago.  I'm lucky to get picked up (chosen to play) by them and it's fun to play in a different basketball atmosphere than the one I grew up in.  I enjoy playing and I enjoy the chances I get to dive into some of their lives.  Please pray for my safety walking to and from the courts, especially at night which is when we normally play and for there to be no harmful altercations over pointless pride and agressive arguing.

Last week, I promised I would start introducing you to the kiddos at the after-school program.  First is second grader, Challah (shuh - LAH).  She is the little sister of O'Shea and if you happen to have heard or remember me mentioning Keyo from my first internship (girl with leadership skills, counted off an awesome drumline), Keyo is Challah's older sister.  Challah is adorable but sometimes doesn't know when to stop talking.  She loves to play jump rope but wants to be included with some of the boys games too (soccer, football).  I had the privelege of getting to read with her two days last week.  She doesn't read good, sorry, goodly, so we read 1st grade books.  Yesterday she started sounding out words and got excited when she could do it herself.  Typically in the Duval County school systems, kids excel at math, but do terrible in reading.  During academic time, she will pretend to be a teacher and pretend to ask us what the answers are (especially for questions she doesn't know, or words she can't read).  clever girl.  She is normally very well-behaved and has a smile and laugh that will get you every time (and she knows it).  She might have the best hand-writing out of all ten students, including the older ones, she just needs help with spelling.  I found a picture of us a year ago at the Summer Day Camp.

(Challah picking up her memory verse craft)

Please pray:
-that we could help Challah learn how to read the English language (which has many dumb rules, like the silent "b" on the end of dumb).
-that we as a ministry are disciplined to demonstrate the love of Christ through our actions
-that how well my first Bible lesson goes on Monday is not defined by my feelings or effort but by God opening the kids' minds and hearts to understand (hope that sentence made sense).

And finally, if you made it all the way down here, I think I should send you a candy prize because these blogs don't seem to be getting any more concise.  For Him,

Andrew

The Son and the moon

The greatest comeback in two:fifty-two recreation time history!
Two teams of six.  Relay race.  Obstacle course.  Carrying footballs.  Red-light, green-light.  All in one epic match of concentration, obedience, speed, and teamwork.  Each team with a victory, the tie-breaker was underway.  The race was on, pretty evenly matched until the last leg.  Kids cheering, competitors running on "Green-light!" and stopping on "Red-light!"  The anchor leg was a huge mismatch.  Chassidy, tiny second-grade girl and Keyshawn, tall and speedy third-grade boy are handed footballs at the same time.  As long as Keyshawn doesn't move when I yell "red light", the win was in the bag.  However, that's when it happened.  When all hope of victory was lost for Chassidy's team, Keyshawn dropped the football.  Time went in slow-motion as a shorter and much slower Chassidy crosses the finish a split-second ahead of Keyshawn!  Wow!  And Sportscenter Top 10 will have had no idea it took place.

The first week of the after-school program is complete....and I am tired.  The program is called two:fifty-two based on Luke 2:52 which says, "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."  This verse indicates our goal of seeing these 2nd-4th graders grow up mentally, physically, and spiritually.  There are ten total kids, (5 boys and 5 girls) and all very unique.  2nd graders include girls Challah (shuh-LAH), Rayshantia (ray-SHAHN-tee-uh), and Chassidy.  3rd graders are boys Alex, Keyshawn, Jeffery, and one girl Charity.  4th graders are boys Diallo (dee-AH-low, not to be confused with Diablo), Emery, and girl Jovonta (juh-VAHN-tay).  The thought behind expanding the accepted grade levels was to include more siblings and God has blessed the program with three pairs of siblings (Jeffery and Keyshawn, Challah and Diallo, and Chassidy and Charity).  These might just be names and facts to you and you probably don't need to know these things.  But for the next nine months, these kids and their families are going to be such big parts of my every day life.  Observing child behavior is one of the most confusing activities one could do.  The mood-swings.  Two kids will be fighting one minute, then the next they'll be best friends.  We'll play a card game and a kid will win, declare, "I love this game!" then lose the next, mutter, "This game is stupid/boring."  One day, a kid will be disruptive during silent reading time; the next day, that same kid will be reading silently.  Come on!  How am I supposed to understand these inconsistant behaviors?

If you've worked with kids for a long time, you might find my inexperience amusing.  I've realized that I'm terrible with discipline, my loud voice is quiet, my strict tone is mild.   I was reading Ecclesiastes 8 and verse 11 has been a helpful reminder when dealing with kids.  "When the sentence for a crime is not quickly carried out, the hearts of the people are filled with schemes to do wrong."  Kids are not criminals, but they do try to push the limits of rules to see which ones are actually important.  I need to be firm.  Rules are important.  It seems backwards to show that I care about them as human beings by disciplining them when they break rules.  Why can't I just let them do what they want and just sit tight until they come to me with a problem or realization that they need some direction and correction?  Why can't I just let them figure out what's best on their own?  Well, because I love these kids and know they need help, help that I am able to give, help that I am willing to give, help that I need to give, even if it's in the form of discipline.  The word "discipline" comes from the latin word discipulus, which meaning "branch of instruction or education", sometimes associated with teaching, knowledge, punishment, learning, etc.  The word "disciple" has the same Latin root.

I am no Jesus, but I desire to follow his example (although I fail miserably).  Jesus is described as a high priest in Hebrews 4:15, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin."  He knows my weakness, He sympathizes, He knows how hard life is, He has been tempted in every way.  That's a lot of ways.  I hope to reflect the light that shines from Christ.  I pray that God is revealed to these kids in a very powerful way.  If He wants to use us, our words, our actions, and our loving discipline to reveal Himself, awesome!  If not, who am I to question the ways of the Lord?

I don't have much else to say, yet could type for hours about the kids, the program, this past week.  Florida is hot.  At one point last night there was tons of lightning but no rain (weird) then downpours in a matter of seconds (weirder).  My accent is slowly changing and my grammar ain't what it was.
Please pray:
-for a permanent solution to a van.  Praise God we were able to rent a van this past week.  Just looking to buy something for the long-term.
-for us as leaders to display a consistancy in how we deal with kids and to exemplify Christ through discipline, love, and grace.
-that this ministry is grounded with an attitude of prayer and submission to following God's will.

I am hoping to introduce you to the kids in the next 10 weeks and let you know how we can be praying for them.  Tootles.

A beautiful song to listen to while outside looking at the night sky.  Be blessed by it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl_3WHW1Tco

so underqualified

No one wants to be humbled, do they?  It's not my first priority to learn just how messed up I am as a human being with weaknesses and "hidden faults" (Psalm 19:12).  I like to think that my life would be a good template or mold for how people should live.  I have it all together.  If something goes wrong, I turn my head.  If I cause a problem, I ignore it to maintain my false view of myself.  Every part of my human nature wants to fight off the reality that I am weak, in need of Jesus' self-sacrifice.  My heart is divided.  I want to read the Bible.  I don't want to read the Bible.  I want to pray.  I don't want to pray.  This battle is of a spiritual kind.  When I read the Bible, something about it convicts me and shows me that I am not perfect.  Who wants to read that about himself?  When I pray, it convicts me and shows me that others are more important than myself and that God is way more powerful.  How can I see others when I walk around holding a mirror in my hand?  God's ways are much higher than mine.

All of Isaiah chapter 55 is awesome but particularly, verses 8 and 9.  "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither ae your ways my ways,' declares the Lord.  'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"  Talk about humbling.  As if to say, "Do you see how high the heavens are?  Yeah, that's how much greater I am than you."  Ever fly in a plane and even the neighborhoods look like ants?  Suddenly your life's problems seem to melt away and a view of the world hits you.  However intimidating these verses may be, how much more should we rely and trust on the one whose thoughts and ways are that much higher than our own.  Psalm 103:11 says, "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him."  This comparison with heaven and earth doesn't describe a greater than, less than scenario; it defines the abundant love God has for us.  Verses 2 to 4 say, "Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion..."  Not only does God forgive all our sins, He also crowns us with love and compasson.  Picture that.  How humbling a picture that is!  The redemption we have through accepting the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ is grace.  Undeserved.  If you can stomach it, I dare you to read Ezekiel chapter 16.  This is about Jerusalem so don't directly put it on your own life as fact; however, I do find it to be a graphic and direct truth to how furiously God loves us people today.

There's my segue.  Furious Love.  The name of a movie that I recommend.  It's a documentary about the healing power of Jesus Christ around the world by Christians humbly praying and loving for hurting and literally broken people.  It is powerful film and my take a while to process through.  Another dare if you have time.

The after-school program starts in two days.  We got the church all cleaned and set up today. Still a lot of painting and carpeting for the office to do but things will get ready.  I'm nervous but excited.  Luckily, I have a little bit more time to prepare for Bible lessons since week 1 is orientation and week 2 is being taught by Carrie, someone with 20 years of experience teaching kids so that I can see someone else do it.  If you no me, you know that I am quiet.  In my spiritual walk I have had some frustrating quiet times, comparing myself to Moses who also was not a good speaker.  I feel that I would be the last person to be asked to do this.  I don't know how to communicate with kids in a teacher/student setting.  I do most of my communicating without words.  Thinking about this role and even now while writing this blog, I know that the Lord's grace is the only thing I can rely on.  1 Corinthians 2:3-5 is Paul's words to the church in Corinth about his ministry.  "I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling.  My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."  Lord, do what you will with this program.  Use this ministry the way you want.  Use me the way you want.  I feel so underqualified for this.  Please communicate to these kids through me in a way that they will be able to see your power and understand/see/know that you are God and you crown them with love and compassion as well.

The church I've been attending just finished some weeks of teaching about how to study the Bible.  H.B. Charles is a brilliant preacher/teacher who studies over 30 different commentaries a week!  And he loves it too!!!?!!!  (question mark intended)  One thing I will leave you with is a way to apply text.  After the stages of observing the text (what is says) and interpreting the text (what it means), we must apply the text.  H.B. said that "Interpretation without application is abortion."  If your quiet times are working for you, praise God!  If you struggle like me, read on.  God has used H.B. to help give me some wisdom.  What has helped bring me closer to God in my personal quiet time has been spacepets.  An acronym.  Here we go.  First he suggested praying Psalm 119:18, then Psalm 119:24 before even reading the Bible.  (Look them up if you can).  I should clarify that this is not a magical formula that will produce a better life.  If your heart is to get closer to God because you can't live without him, this is just a tool to have a consistant and thorough approach to reading the word.
Spacepets.
Ask yourself as you read the text if there is a:
Sin to confess
Promise to claim
Attitude to change
Command to obey
Example to follow
Prayer to pray
Error to avoid
Truth to believe
Something to thank God for.

Meditate on these things.  Ask God how to apply a passage to your life.  I pray this blog is not just a long-winded pukefest of whatever I happen to be reading/hearing/learning in a particular week but rather an encouragement to you that we have all sinned and fall short of God's glory (Roman 3:23), we all are nothing in comparison to God, and the grace that comes from the death of Jesus Christ is sufficient for all who would repent and believe.

Prayer:
-Please pray for God to show up at the after-school program and do His will.
-Please pray that God protects this country from any possibe terrorist attack tomorrow or any other day.

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pForMWdavzQ

Mouse hunt and the image of God

"'Tis not with swords loud clashing, nor roll of stirring drums,
but deeds of love and mercy, the heav'nly kingdom comes."

Here are some details that I don't think I've told yet as to what's going on with the ministry.  The after-school program is officially starting Sept. 12th, which means, us interns and volunteers have a little over a week to get the church basement set-up and organized, curriculum planned, and supplies bought.  This program is from roughly 3 to 6:30 Monday through Friday and we will most likely be renting a van to pick up 12 kids total from three different elementary schools in the neighborhood.  My responsibilities for the year include planning for recreational time every day and giving the Bible lesson two times per week.  Everything is coming together nicely, we only had to wait a little longer to begin this thing.

Currently in the Green House (where I live) we have been terrorized by mice.  If you've ever seen the movie Mouse Hunt, we are on the verge of blowing up this house too.  Yesterday morning Tiara (fellow intern) and I bought 8 mouse traps for $2 (a steal) and scattered them around the corners of the house, hoping to lure a little menace with a piece of Krafts Singles processed cheese.  I wasn't so sure these cheep sayonara seats and the counterfeit calcium (forced alliteration, clearly) would work.  Coming downstairs last night to a dark kitchen, hearing a squeak, I got a little excited, hoping to chase one into a mouse trap (I apologize for this side of me).  To my surprise, one of them worked.  The mouse was trapped.  Yep, it sure wasn't going anywhere.  Wait, it's not going anywhere.  Unless I physically dispose of it, it will not go anywhere.  Dang, what do I do now?  After many options ran through our head, some good, some bad, some hilarious, I finished the job with a shovel.  The only way I was able to kill the mouse without having any attachment issues (its eyes were kind of beautiful), was to put my mind on something else, not thinking about the end result, the effects my actions had on the "mouse world", the mouse's family.  I just hit it, squished it, it was thrown out and out of my thoughts.

So why tell you any of this?  Jacksonville is the murder capital of Florida.  I've never been in a situation where I was so messed up that I've ever come near to killing a person.  I can't imagine and don't want to imagine that happening.  But what if my actions, or lack of actions, were in fact killing people, or slowly making their lives worse.  You are only one human being, unable to fix all the problems of the world, so, as a Christian, what does God want us to do in this world?

I read 76 pages of "Generous Justice" this week to catch up from last.  Instead of sharing what I learned from all 76 pages, I just wanted to share one section.  Keller writes, "You could make a good argument that our problem in society today is not that people don't know they should share with others and help the poor.  Most people do know and believe this.  The real problem is that, while knowing it, they are insufficiently motivated to actually do it."  So what in the Bible should motivate us?  "The Bible gives believers two basic motivations--joyful awe before the goodness of God's creation, and the experience of God's grace in redemption."  He then goes on to explain Genesis 1:26-27, how God created us in his own image.  Image: to resemble, to represent, to reflect.  What about us resembles or reflects God?  Glad you asked.  "Over the years thinkers have pointed to human rationality, personality, and creativity, or to our moral and aesthetic sense and our deep need for and ability to give love in relationships.  All of this and much more goes into being the image of God, though we must beware of trying to nail it down into a list."  Every human life is sacred.  Every human being has dignity.  God created each of us.  No accidents.  God loves all that he has made (Psalms 145:9, 17).  The default of the human heart is to label people "barbarians", undeserving of respect, attention.  C.S. Lewis writes, "The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken."  A refusal to acknowledge the poor is the refusal to acknowledge that God has made all of man in his image.

There are so many parts of this book I wish I had time and space to write about.  Like how our money is not ours but God's.  How God made it law to leave a portion of the field to the immigrant, the fatherless, and the widow (Deuteronomy 24:14, 17, 19).  "When you come upon those who are economically poor, you cannot say to them, 'Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!' because you certainly did not do that spiritually.  Jesus intervened for you.  And you cannot say, 'I won't help you because you got yourself in to this mess,' since God came to earth, moved into your spiritually poor neighborhood, as it were, and helped you even though your spiritual problems were your own fault.  In other words, when Christians who understand the gospel see a poor person, they realize they are looking into a mirror."

Mice are much different than men.  Although both created by God, one is created in his image.  Believing we should help the poor is not enough.  We are saved by his grace, through our faith (Ephesians 2:8) but faith without works is dead, is not evidence of true faith (James 2:14-26).  How do you help the poor, especially if you don't live close to them?  Helping out at schools, getting to know families that need some errand run.  If you are interested in helping the inner city, the easiest thing for you to do is to not come up with your own ideas of how to help, just ask a church or ministry in a poor community what they need help with.  Most likely they will have a better idea of what their community needs.  Whether its volunteers, financial support, school supplies, donated clothing or books.  Who knows?

Someday I will write a short blog.
Please pray for:
-the final few kids to be recruited for the after-school program
-God to prepare and lead our character/Bible lessons and general demeanor for the kids' spiritual and academic growth.
Also I would love suggestions for:
-Fun outdoor or indoor games you remember playing growing up (remember, 12 kids, concrete ground)
-Ways to dispose of a mouse after it has been caught in a trap.

Love you all