I had all but given up, desperate for a sign from love. Something good, something kind, bringing peace to every corner of my mind. Then I saw the garden. Hope had come to me to sweep away the ashes and wake me from my sleep. I realized You never left and for this moment You planned ahead, that I would see Your faithfulness in all of the green. I can see the ivy growing through the wall because You will stop at nothing to heal my broken soul. I can see the ivy reaching through the wall because You will stop at nothing to heal my broken soul. Faith is rising up like ivy, reaching for the light. Hope is stirring deep inside me, making all things right. Love is lifting me from sorrow, catching every tear, dispelling every lie and torment, crushing all my fears. Now I see redemption growing in the trees, the death and resurrection in every single seed.
-Lyrics from Kari Jobe's The Garden.
Hearing this song before, the lyrics never really meant much to me personally...until I heard it while working in our garden. Currently, the garden is in the growing phase. We did a complete do-over in late September, taking out all the old plants, weeding all the garden beds, and filling them with new fertilizer. We planted different vegetables and have started to seeing them surface above the soil. Will the plants produce fully ripe vegetables? We have no idea, but had we not prepared the ground, planted the seeds, and watered, they definitely won't. Putting the seeds in the ground and seeing their growth day after day, I get easily frustrated when I see things that hurt the progress. I'll see leaves eaten by animals, I'll see weeds come up and compete for nutrients, I'll see some of our sprinklers clogged with dirt and not supplying the water needed. Growing food is something you can learn a lot about, but predicting the results, the seasons, the exact growth seems impossible. Much like life. We learn from our experiences on what not to do, how to protect ourselves from pain, and we still get hit by unexpected obstacles. We toil, we strive, we writhe, we want to grow and produce lots of good fruit. Here's how that works. Hint: it's not what you do, but what you surrender to the Father and allow Him to do in you.
Jesus says in John 15:1-5, I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
I imagine those first few years in the Garden of Eden were just a learning process for Adam. Nobody had ever worked the land before (obviously since he was the first person), so he had to learn how God had created the world to grow food and trees from just a single seed. I wonder if Adam ever did something that would look idiotic today, like just placing seeds on rocks, or throwing them high in the air thinking that made them grow taller.
I think in a lot of ways, people are operating in this pandemic like Adam may have, being the first gardener/farmer. We have no previous experience of how to do life in a pandemic, especially in this technological world. Since March, 2nd Mile has been learning a lot of ways how not to do ministry. It's difficult to see the fruit when we are so much about in-person relationships. When you are limited to virtual ministry, it feels like trying to grow flowers in a dark room. It feels unfair. There aren't many resources to how to effectively to a virtual ministry in a community that may not have to resources to even take part. We've had some success in seeing lots fruit in a very small number of students; however, we are still searching for how to reach more students effectively in this time.
This pandemic, although it has dramatically altered what we do and how we do it at 2nd Mile, it has allowed us to see other tasks that have been left ignored. For example, at the church, so many thorny vines has taken over our chain-linked fence that have grown up into our outdoor shed where we keep our landscaping tools. Vines are relentless and only need the tiniest of cracks in wood or walls to completely rip through, rip apart, and take over. There were also overhanging branches above the shed that were actually helping to grow unwanted vegetation on top of the roof. Also, our office had so many different types of supplies, not exactly in the best order. These things were important to take care of and had we continued our normal ministry activities, may have gone overlooked and seen as lower priority.
I don't want to go back to normal. But I also don't necessarily want this to be my new normal either. As I, as we all, are being transformed by the world around us, by health regulations, by government, by the status of our jobs, and even by just the normal stressful things in life, I pray that we remain in the true vine, Jesus, holding on for life. I've been hit with some curve balls in the last few weeks and could use some prayer, actual prayer, not well wishes or good thoughts, but prayer in the only one that can either remove the pain, or be present with me through it. Thank you for reading.
