Monday, January 27, 2020

Redeemed Brokenness

two:fiftytwo After School Program - The new year has brought in a new schedule for me, not too different from 2019, but enough to be put into another adjustment period. Currently at the after school program three days out of the school week, I get to see the kids more, have better traction with continuing conversations with them, and also get to see more of their human natures. Behaviors that used to frustrate me and force me to process my life decisions now allow me to have more meaningful conversations about growth, making good decisions, and reconciling with the other students. I enjoy these kids a lot, each having their own unique gifts and personalities from God on display every day. I get annihilated Jabarie each day in rock, paper, scissors, where the winner of the whole school year will either get a big bag of hot fries (if he wins) or a two-liter of soda (if I win). Quran's kindness is shown towards the students who either fall during rec time or don't have anyone to play with. Over the years, Andre has enjoyed learning how things work (power tools, typewriter, computer keyboards, etc.).

It has been great to get to know these students more and more. I pray that God would reveal himself to these students in how He's made them, how He loves them, and what He wants them to do with their lives. The students got the chance in previous weeks to get pictures taken of them doing something they enjoy. We would then take those photos and transfer them to wood for an art project. The kids got really into it and I hope they get to experience many things as they grow older, in order to find something that ignites their excitement for life. Five of our seven 5th grade students have been in the program since 2nd grade. What's crazy is that they will join the other middle school and high school students next year in our BLOCK program. 

BLOCK - In case you haven't read the blog in a while, BLOCK (Building Leaders of Christ's Kingdom) has now incorporated both High School and Middle School students. The first two weeks of this merge, two volunteers gave their very powerful testimonies. Lots of suffering, lots of sinful choices, but so much grace from God. I've never seen that many teenagers that quiet in a room before. They hung on to their every word. Peoples' stories can be so powerful, and yet we often don't get past the surface in many of our encounters with others. One skill that I've been working on (that is definitely still not natural to me) is being an active listener, asking more questions than giving my own personal anecdotes. Trying to see the world through someone else's point of view can be so difficult, especially if I am more me-focused. There is power in hearing the gritty, embarrassing, shameful details of someone's life. I think we as people learn very quickly that there are some parts of our own stories that we feel we need to hide from others, keep to ourselves. Having the freedom to be open and honest about emotions, about difficult circumstances, difficult topics is so hard. "Can I trust you with this?" is often how we internalize and eventually rationalize that "No I cannot." My hope and prayer for these middle and high schoolers would be that they feel comfortable sharing their own stories, knowing that they are not alone in feeling alone, lost, unloved, unloveable, etc. Shared brokenness births community, births family. I feel that we as the church should "boast of our weaknesses all the more gladly so that the power of Christ may rest upon us." (2 Cor. 12:9). I know that God can work in mighty ways if we trust in him. I urge you, reader, for the sake of Christ, to humble yourselves by confessing your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. (James 5:16).




Thursday, January 2, 2020

Goodbye 2010's

Happy New Year and Happy New Decade! There will be some changes at 2nd Mile Ministries and I hope you will be in prayer with us as we enact those changes. Our Connect Middle School program and our BLOCK High School Programs will be merging starting this month. We will meet weekly. The two programs will eat together, play together, and then as the night goes on, we will do small group discussions separately as the age gap may prove to bring out different levels of understanding. Please pray that the program merge will help grow a bigger community of students, that the older students will help build up and not tear down the younger students, and that the staff and volunteers would be of one accord. Looking forward to what's new in the new year is an exciting place of unfamiliarity and trusting in God to show up. 
e beneficial to split up.

For this blog, I thought it might be fun to look back at the 2010's, and think through my top 10 moments or memories in somewhat chronological order.

1.) Summer Internship, June, 2010. After spending a summer in inner city Milwaukee the summer prior, I decided to spend a summer in the bold city of Jacksonville, working in a low-income neighborhood, putting on a summer day camp at a ministry I would eventually call my job, my home, and my life. That summer really changed what I thought about life as a Christian, and how I thought about spending my time and effort. I became close with the other interns, had a lot of fun at camp, and was hit hard by God's love for those kids, imagining where they'd be when they got older.


2.) My friend Sarah's wedding, October, 2010. As I mentioned before, the summer of 2009 was my Milwaukee summer, where God gave me a brand new point of view about the world. I was first exposed to the devastating realities of financial poverty, spiritual poverty, and homelessness. Through this difficult but powerful summer, I went to battle together with strangers from other colleges who have become family to me. Sarah was one of these people and it was at her wedding where nine of us reunited and had a great time. We played games, talked about how our lives have been different since that summer in the city, and it was a very encouraging time for us. I remembered in the Bible when Paul would be encouraged and also encourage other believers just by going to see them again. Never have I felt non-family members feel more like family.


3.) CCDA, 2011. The Christian Community Development Association, founded by John Perkins, is an annual conference where people around the country who work for similar organizations like 2nd Mile, worship together, exchange ideas, and most of all, learn ways to better serve their respective communities. This was my first experience with CCDA. I've been to their conferences in Indianapolis, New Orleans, and Detroit over the years. One speaker came and totally opened my eyes to a topic that seems to be swept under the rug in American history. Yes, we learn about slavery, about the Civil War, about Civil Rights, basically history of black and white conflict. But Richard Twiss came to talk about his people, the Native American, and their plight, their experience and history. I remember the room fell silent as he spoke, the room gave him a huge applause as he finished, and the room humbly prayed afterwards in response. It was one of two times that I felt I needed to purchase a talk from these conferences that talk and watch at a later time and I still have that talk to this day.

4.) Artistic awakening, 2012-Present. I had some recurring dreams in 2012 about a tree residing near a ginormous waterfall, and felt that I needed to paint it. My only painting experience being in elementary school, I didn't really know what I was doing. It took a long time but I painted it. Ever since then, the creativity God has given me has allowed me to express my thoughts, ideas, and even emotions through art since then and it's been a great outlet for me to feel closer to God who created me.

5.) The Proposal, September, 2013. I was nervous of course, but was more excited to blind-side Missi with my question. She had asked me earlier that week if I thought I was ready for marriage. Taking her question very literally in order to throw her off, I said something like, "Not right 'now'," knowing that I would be "ready" in a few days. I knew I wanted to marry her when we started dating, and the eventual marriage was finally set in motion. It's exciting to follow through with a plan that was years in the making.


6.) The Wedding, June 21st, 2014. Getting to see my biological family, my college family, some of my Milwaukee family, and my 2nd Mile family all at the same party was unforgettable. Knowing that it will never happen like that again (at least until death) is sad to think about. I would finally get to show "the world" my commitment to Missi and we'd live together forever. That day went by so fast and I regret not eating more, not hydrating as much (I had a headache after dancing to a few songs), but the memories are still quite vivid. Missi and I hate being the center of attention, so you'd think I'd be uncomfortable with this big party being for just us, but it was such a celebration of how God has provided and loved me through those amazing people that attended that I just enjoyed every minute of it. Sometimes Missi and I jokingly talk about going back and getting married again.

7.) MAXIMUS!! February 22nd, 2017. Even before he was born, I loved this baby. After two miscarriages, this pregnancy really increased our faith in God and in prayer. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERYTHING, by prayer and supplication, let your requests be made known to God, and the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7. We prayed every day for our baby to be okay once we learned that Missi's water broke at 19 weeks. I can't explain the peace I felt even though the situation was not great. God blessed us with hope and peace and faith during that time and ever since we were surprised with a boy, he has made us stronger as parents and as people. He continues to bring joy in our lives every day, our goofy, smart, and happy boy.

8.) KAA, June, 2018. There's nothing quite like getting to see students step out in faith and make decisions to either accept Christ for the first time or rededicate their lives to Christ. I was in charge of six students, who I've known for a collective 31 years (if that makes any sense). It was a great week to relax, invest in the what the students were learning, and even teaching a few times throughout the week as well. I can still see the impact of that week on those kids to this day.

9.) New Places!
9a.) Jamaica, April, 2014.
9b.) Alaska, August, 2015.
9c.)Vermont, August, 2018. 
-One of my college roommates got married in Jamaica a couple months before my own wedding. It was dope. Went outside the country, jumped off what seemed to be a huge mountain (it was a 35ft cliff), was barefoot in a beach side wedding, lots of memorable firsts.
-For many many years, my answer to the question "Where would you most want to visit in the world?" was always Alaska. I love Jack London's White Fang and I guess wanted to see mountains, glaciers, vast nature. Getting to go on a cruise with my wife and in-laws was amazing. Zip-lining, getting pulled by sled-dogs, kayaking in crystal clear water was awesome.
-Vermont was our first vacation, just the three of us (Missi, Max, and me). This state was our second choice for a honeymoon so we wanted to eventually check it out. I'm used to road trips to Colorado with my family, taking maybe two days to get to our destination. This trip, we intentionally meandered up the eastern part of the country, leisurely stopping at various places along the way. It was a great way to do a vacation and I can't wait until the next time. Vermont is beautiful by the way if you've never been. I'd say it's a good in-between of Alaska and Colorado, there are busy towns if you want the Colorado life, and there's plenty of space and seclusion if you want the Alaska feel.

10.) Murphy bed, August 2017-March 2019. Building anything practical and functional was never something I thought I'd ever do. Seeing as our guest room was only utilized when guests came, I wanted to be able to use it for either a music or a prayer room, or anything rather than just sit there most of the year. I saw an article about murphy beds and the idea would never be able to leave my head until I built one and installed it. With a lot of help and building space from my friend Jason, we did a few hours of work here and there over the course of a year and a half. The video that we went off of said it might take a weekend to build. Ha! Honestly, I don't think this bed would've been as memorable had it only taken an easy weekend. I learned a lot about furniture and I'm so happy that it has been serving it's purpose most of this year. We've used it for music, working out, quiet times, taking tests, and for when guests come to visit.

There are probably things I'm forgetting. In ministry, and I suppose in marriage and parenting as well, there are many little moments that may seem insignificant and maybe not so memorable, but over time, those little things, the constant presence in a person's life, that can have much more significant impact on a person's life. I've witnessed some great connections with families in our neighborhood, just simply because we've been around for a long time. Don't underestimate your impact on those around, don't waste those moments, they are given to you for a purpose (and it's not for your purposes).

Happy New Year and have a great rest of your week!